Belated Christmas Eve

I have been lazy about blogging about Christmas Eve, but Kelly has summed it up quite well. It was an amazing time, it took a ton of work to organize it but it was worth it. I had a great Christmas. Oddly enough, now that the Christmas Eve craziness is calmed down, I find myself nursing a cold. I think its that thing of when your body needs to perform it does, then when you give it a minute to breathe, it sort of lets things like colds happen. Hopefully it won't affect leading worship too much on Sunday!

Paradoxes about Jesus

Tonight my wife and I went with friends to see the candlelight processional at Disney, with the readings being done by Gary Sinese. It was very cool, a great show and performance, Gary's a great narrator. I loved the whole show except for one little paragraph from the script that like watered down everything they had read and sang up to that point about Jesus and Christmas. Except for that part, it was a great show, glorifying Christ and focused on Him.

One part of the script, toward the end of the show, includes an excerpt from a sermon by a guy named James Allan Francis:

"Here is a man who was born in an obscure village, the child of a peasant woman. He grew up in another village. He worked in a carpenter shop until He was thirty. Then for three years He was an itinerant preacher.

He never owned a home. He never wrote a book. He never held an office. He never had a family. He never went to college. He never put His foot inside a big city. He never traveled two hundred miles from the place He was born. He never did one of the things that usually accompany greatness. He had no credentials but Himself."

As I listened to this, I could think of how the opposite, or parallel (what's the right word?) idea was true of each of the statements:

"He never owned a home."--He is the builder and owner of heaven itself, the universe cannot contain Him.

"He never wrote a book."--His book is the number one best seller of all time, written over centuries, by many authors, but all under direction of his Spirit, his very breath (2 Timothy 3:16).

"He never had an office."--He is our Prophet, Priest, and King all in one. He is our advocate before the Father.

"He never had a family."--We are his children, sons and daughters.

"He never went to college."--At 12 he was teaching the college professors all about the stuff they were experts in.

"He never put his foot inside a big city."--Jerusalem is big in importance in Scripture. Heaven seems like a pretty big city according to Rev. 21.

"He never traveled 200 miles from the place he was born."--Until he ascended to the throne of his Father in heaven.

"He never did one of the things that usually accompany greatness."--Hmmmm....how about reading the gospels?

I guess you could say what was not known to be true of him by those who saw Him on earth, we now know by faith and reading of His word. So the last sentence is a fitting end: "He had no credentials but Himself."

My Little Project Angel Tree

Over the past month, a couple of people from our church have been organizing Project Angel Tree at Grace. My wife and I were able to participate in it (it was an awesome event that was a big success as far as I know this morning), but still felt like we could do more in terms of giving away, rather than spending money on each other or family who are getting along just fine. A couple of times this month a single woman, we'll call her "J," has come into the office, asking for someone to pray for her. She's not a homeless woman, but she's having a hard go of it this Christmas.

J is in her 40's (by my guess), single, has a daughter who is currently in Prague teaching english, and J loves God. She recently moved to Orlando to go to culinary school, I don't know where. She was promised some hours at a local urban restaurant, I assume as a cook. She's been having trouble getting enough gas money to make the 8 mile trek from her apartment to work. She came into the office this week, and relayed that her total paycheck for the last two weeks is $325. She's driving her car without insurance, and praying, and desperate.

I will have a moment of vulnerability here and say when I first saw her, I was in conversation with someone else and my first instinct was to blow her off. God had other plans, and I found my heart softening. I confess I'm a bit ashamed, and am asking him to work more compassion in me, more willingness to look with love, to have God's eyes, and his heart toward others.

As J talked, she boldly asked if I could look around, or get the word out to people in the church, about some of her needs. I wrote down some of the basic things she needed, and took her address and phone number. I knew of a couple families, who felt like we did, that we could perhaps give a bit more to others this season, so I emailed them about her needs, and people came through.

Fast forward to noon today.

I drive up to this apartment complex located right smack dab next to the entrance to I-4 from 436. It's one of the noisiest, most crowded intersections in Orlando. J lives in a nice but modest one bedroom apartment, was sleeping on one of those chairs you see by a pool, and had only one other small piece of furniture. Enter me, with a 16' rental truck, which I open and pull out a brand new full size bed frame, mattress, and box spring, plus other boxes and gift bags. I helped J set up her bed with the mattress and box spring, then pulled out the sheets and blanket we had bought at Target. I didn't stay and watch her open the rest of what was there, but I know she won't have to pay for gas out of her own pocket for a month, hopefully, and she'll be cooking some decent food on her own stove this Christmas.

J was blown away. While I helped her, I talked about Grace doing this because we wanted to be Jesus' hands and feet. She seemed quite confident through her faith when she said that she hopes that next year this time, she can buy angel tree gifts, and be blessing others through the gift of preparing food. Who knows what other gifts God might have blessed J with. As I finished helping her and praying with her, she was moved to tears of joy, and I nearly was myself as we prayed together, and I prayed for God's blessing on her life, that he would be Emmanuel to her, and Jehovah Jireh, the Provider.

It felt good, for the first time in a long time, it seems like, to really substantially give hope, give life, give tangible evidence of the love of Jesus Christ, and to watch her receive. It hammered home to me that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Is that a Scripture text or just an old cliche? Whatever it is, I got it today.

A New Little One for Friends

Last night to wind down the day I went for a trip downtown to the 7th floor of city hall to get an open flame permit so we didn't get in trouble with our Christmas Eve candlelight service. That was a fiasco in itself but I'll spare you the details. Let's just say by the time I finally walked out of there right at 5:00, I was a bit miffed at traffic, bureaucracy, etc. But I took the detour to make the visit I'd been looking forward to all day--to see my Friends Mike and Kelly and their new baby girl, Katy Claire.

It was fun just hanging out with Mike and Kelly on the 9th floor of Winnie Palmer, just catching up on how things had been for them. Of course I spent equally as much time answering their questions about how things were with Grace, arrangements for Christmas Eve, and the few things I needed to run by them. But then Mike took me down to NICU, where Katy Claire is doing well, just placed there as a precaution because she's a premie by a few weeks. She is the cutest, most fragile, precious thing! It made me excited to have one of those some day. She was a bit fussy so I didn't hold her, but Mike did and I put my finger near her hand--that little bugger has a grip! It was fun to see her open her eyes a couple of times, and to watch Mike love on her.

I have pretty much no experience with babies, and what experience I do have, I just get a little wigged out, because I'm so afraid I'll do something wrong. But now with this image in my head of Katy Claire, I think there's something amazing, you can't put it into words, when you look there. My head doesn't yet understand it, but something in my heart connects with profound truth about the creature/Creator relationship. When I look at a little baby like Katy Claire, "Cute" doesn't scratch the surface. Maybe "holy"? I'm sure it's 100 times more powerful a feeling when it's your own kid popping outta there.

Chesterton on Christmas

A friend of mine who is planting a church in Berkeley wrote about many people who do Christmas though they profess themselves atheists and secularists. In that regard, he prayed that for those inside and outside the church, the following would happen while such people were still living, rather than in their death. It fit well with Pastor Mike's sermon this past Sunday about traditions at Christmas. And here is the quote:

"The great majority of people will go on observing forms that cannot be explained; they will keep Christmas Day with Christmas gifts and Christmas benedictions; they will continue to do it; and some day suddenly wake up and discover why." – G.K. Chesterton, "On Christmas."

08 Presidential Campaign and Christ

I found this little blog pretty interesting. I think Christian politicians should exercise extreme caution when referring to Christ in their talks. Don't get me wrong, in no way do I think they should be ashamed; I think they should not be afraid to talk about their faith, but they should be careful about aligning Christ with any specific political view. Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of this world..."

I Am Legend

IF YOU READ THIS YOU WON'T FIND OUT THE ENDING OF THE MOVIE "I AM LEGEND," BUT YOU WILL FIND OUT SIGINIFICANT PARTS OF THE STORY. Just making sure you know. So I just got back from viewing the movie. Very interesting, there's a bit of everything in it and I think it's extremely well done. The movie really keeps your interest, it doesn't move slow, and it's captivating. Will Smith plays the character extremely well; I'm continuously amazed by his ability to act in these last few years. It also seems like lately his movies have at one point or another showed off how ripped he is. Holy Cow. I don't know if VanDamme had that much muscle tone in his heyday.

The story line is interesting, with some interesting topics and issues that get touched on. Here is a man who has known some of the most brutal heartache I think anyone can imagine. And he spends his days and nights alone except for his dog, who then gets infected, leaving him totally and utterly alone in the world, as far as he knows. He's got stamina though, as he continues his work to try and find a cure, and even his experiments, you can tell, have brought day after day of struggle and pain as he tries to heal the world of such vicious aggression that has totally consumed every infected person. Infected people represent 99% of the world's population in the movie.

After he loses his dog, he pretty much goes mental and stays out driving around in the dark when the rabid mutants come out, and he loses it and starts running them over but they overwhelm his truck and are just about to kill him when some huge lights are all of the sudden flashed on, driving all the mutants away (called dark-seekers because they come out at night). It is then he finds out there are other uninfected survivors. I'll leave it there, with recommendations to go ahead and see it. Its a bit of a roller coaster emotionally, and you will find some moments of being frightened. I would not recommend it to anyone under 15 unless you feel they're not affected by fright and scenes of human aggression, similar to a rabid human on steroids. Also I felt the ending could have been a little different, but that's just personal preference. If you've seen it, let me know your thoughts!

Peculiar People

You've probably never heard of this husband and wife drama duo, Peculiar People. I saw them about three years ago when they came to RTS to do a chapel service, and then a little "Steve's Front Porch" kind of reflection time with Steve Brown and Buddy Greene. In their dramas and storytelling they do half comedy, half serious, and they're really good at what they do. I remember laughing and crying within five minutes of each other. I won't soon forget when they did a drama based on the 2nd or 3rd chapter of Steve Brown's book, When Being Good Isn't Good Enough. It really touched me. I recently got their newsletter in the mail, which is absolutely hilarious and heartwarming as well. I'm excited about their plans to start a church focused in the arts in South Carolina. Hmmm....yet another couple with a good excuse to move to the Carolinas... Anyway, if anyone from SC is reading this, or even if you're not,
check them out if you have a chance!

Looking ahead and behind

This week we did some looking back at 2007 at Grace, and some looking ahead at 2008. We did a TON in 2007! We did a lot of special events, we really amped up our small groups and saw significant life change from it, and we achieved greater effectiveness in all of our different endeavors. Looking back, I think we see God's hand in all of it. Through our work and through connecting others to God and to each other, people's lives have been changed. Many have been challenged to take their next step toward Christ.

We plan to keep up, improve, and amp up things in the next year. Just in the time from now to Easter I think I counted ten significant events/momentum builders on our calendar. The goal in these is that they would challenge our people to take another step toward Christ. My personal hope and prayer for our leaders is the desire I have for myself as we step into the new year--that a spirit of prayer, a spiritual awareness and receptivity would increase in us. I see it happening already among us, and its great. A men's group I'm currently part of has been a catalyst for that in my heart, and I feel like I'm just scratching the surface.

I'm pumped about some of the songs I think we may start playing next year when our worship leader comes on full time. We're definitely going to the next level in that area, as we hopefully get a few simple lights, and we start singing some of Hillsong's recent stuff (It's REALLY good stuff they're coming out with these days!). We have a talented band. A really talented band that it is an awesome privilege to be a part of. I look forward to more times when our congregation catches the passion for God, and connects to Holy Spirit in worship. Those moments are amazing and I cherish them.

Louie Giglio Talk

A friend of mine let me borrow a DVD that I guess was packaged along with the release of a Chris Tomlin CD. The DVD includes a talk from Louie where he talks about the size of the Universe, highlighting some of those big stars that God has created, the biggest one we've discovered so far is Canis Major. It's stuff I've heard before and find I can't get my mind around it. It's like it's so huge I can't even comprehend it, even when Louie tries to give metaphors to help us understand it. As I write I think I posted on something similar last month based on a talk by Francis Chan. Oh well. I recommend getting a hold of the talk, Louie does a great job connecting the power and glory of God with his love and care for us His people. I recommend Chan to you as well. Look up the "Vintage Life" talks podcasted on iTunes. Chan's on there.

Things I've done.

My wife did it, it's a great way to fill up space on here and keep your interest!

What have you done?

1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
2. Swam with wild dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone (they are the best kind!)
8. Said “I love you” and meant it (every day, I do)
9. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game (and survived the crush afterwards)
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb--DOES A GOAT COUNT? A goat died in my arms once.
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking--at our wedding!
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends - ahem, HAVE amazing friends, thank you.
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe.
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love - but I wasn't really in love, in retrospect
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow--yes, and twice daily milked goats
56. Alphabetized your CDs – organized them not A-Z by acc. to genre
57. Pretended to be a superhero!--Bravestar. Does Frank Hardy count?
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
;">62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater--saw Lion King
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken - see #72
69. Toured ancient sites--most notably, the Holy Land including the temple mount and Dome of the Rock.
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music--not just in Garage Band mac OS X program either
87. Eaten shark--caught one once too.
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS ONE--I'll make one up-Repaired a broken water main.
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking--probably singing "Kyrie by Mr. Mister
103. Had plastic surgery--many for CLP
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived--horseback riding accident
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone--#104
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse--OWNED 6 horses.
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi – mmm!
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language--"The response I got was "YOU PAY THOUSAND SHEKEL!!!!"
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair - sort of, with my church
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Blessing and a Pure Heart

A friend of mine from the Orlando Sentinel recently interviewed Joel Osteen. As I read through some of the stories there and heard a couple of the things he said, a couple times he talked about having a heart that is pure before God. I really like that and I appreciate that he points that out. So many people forget that aspect when they focus on the abundance of God and his blessing. I don't like the word "prosperity" in this context, only because of its connotations. The so called "Prosperity Gospel" is focused on this world and on our possessions. Our culture bombards us with prosperity. We need a gospel that talks about blessing.

God repeatedly talks about blessing in the Bible, but it is for those who are totally surrendered humble before Him, pure in heart before Him. They're not following God simply because they want to be blessed. They follow God whether he blesses them or not. It's Matthew 5, the beatitudes. In the OT, God desired to bless Israel so that they could be a testimony for God's glory. They screwed it up by not being pure in heart toward him. So he stopped blessing them. Another good 5 minute read in this context is the book of Haggai. Go to the beginning of the New Testament, then go back three books. When the people neglected building God's house, and built their own houses, he sent drought. When they followed him, he promised blessing.

Kudos to Joel for pointing out, in his warm fuzzy Texan drawl, that following God blesses us when our hearts are pure, when we're in it for Him, and not for his blessing. Look up John Piper on youtube or Godtube about this. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.

Thoughts from the Weekend

A big sigh...  It feels like the last 24 hours has seen a lot of technical gliches in the matrix as we've carried out our work at Grace.  It's been an awesome weekend as far as the final product, what people see and hear, the final result.  But behind the scenes it's been busy and a little crazy!  Last night our worship band played at Holiday on the Drive.  When you play outdoors it's not going to be as good of a stage mix as it would indoors, but then the sound crew that the festival organizers had hired wouldn't allow our sound engineer to run the board.  On the stage we were all feeling like it wasn't ideal but it went off OK.  What we heard from those who watched and listened was that it was absolutely awesome and we sounded great.  

So after we had personally lugged half of our sound system back to the church we went out to pizza with our friends, Chad and Hilary.  Then I got some fitful sleep and headed to the church this morning.  It was one of those mornings, more than I've ever personally felt, where tons of little things aren't going well and it starts to get on your nerves.  We kept on getting feedback when we hit G# on the bass, we were minus one monitor that we can't seem to get to work, I forgot the worship guides at the office in all of last night's craziness trying to pack up, etc....    

After it all, from what I gather, things came off really well. The first service went really well, we sounded good, the Spirit was there and things really came off well.  I believe God did some real movement in people's hearts.  The second service I think went pretty well too, it's just that my guitar was accidently muted for about 1 and 1/2 songs.  Guess it's just a reminder that what Jesus does on Sunday mornings or any other day of the week will happen even if it's not all right technically.  He just wants our hearts in the right place.  I think a lot of hearts are in the right place at Grace, and I hope and pray for that to be more and more evident in our church.  And in my heart.  

Ever Sing

I've been terrible about blogging.  There's probably only two people that bother to check this anymore since I don't write often.  My wife has a gift for making things that are relatively normal about life really enjoyable and interesting to read.  Me, I often think I need some event or profound thought to write about.  Well, nothing too spectacular the last few days.

A dear friend recently lost a family member, someone who I know loved God, but had been slightly mentally handicapped from birth, and then got cancer that ravaged his body for years.  Finally the Lord took him home earlier this week, and while I know the family is sad for their loss, I know they share also the feeling I had of elation for this man who had been broken and incomplete all his life, and is now whole, glorious, with Jesus.  We sing a song at Grace originally written by Dustin Maust, its called "Ever Sing."  It's about the beautiful sound of worship that arises as a response to God's revelation of himself to us time and again, especially when He speaks to  us.  A couple times this week as I've thought of Kevin in relation to that song, it's been almost overwhelming.  In those moments of aware of my longing to be with Him, and ever sing "Holy, Holy, Holy."  

Business in Practical Theology

As many of you know, my job at the church is includes a lot of the business side of operations.  What's funny about me having that job is that I'm really there to learn right now.  In 10 years of theological training, in Bible college and seminary, I never had a course or even part of a course that instructed me in staff manuals, federal tax laws relating to non-profits and their employees, corporation, even basic finances.  Not only that, but I've never even had some basic instruction on personal financial management, with information on how mortgages work, how to budget, how to do your taxes, how to go about buying a house for the first time, etc.  

I suppose all this stuff is pretty simple.  For the personal side of things, I'm learning as I go.  I just met with someone to look at what sort of position we are in right now to look at buying a house.  It was a little sobering but I'm not feeling hopeless.  I'm just glad its a buyer's market right now.  But I learned quite a bit about what a mortgage is and how it works just in this little appointment.  In the last few months I've been working to really put together a budget that makes sense.  Today I found myself plugging in all the actual data for November.  I did it on my own based on all research and stuff that I've done on my own.  I just wish I'd learned it even ten years ago.  It could have really helped, I think.  

When it comes to the business side of running a church, I'm just really glad we have an awesome finance team that pretty much handles everything and is very knowledgeable, including at least one CPA that I know of.  Even so, I've learned a few basics lately about churches as non-profits, how benefits work, what disability insurance is, tax laws relating to clergy, and my big project has been putting together a staff manual.  It's been tiring and cumbersome at some points, but I'm proud of what I've learned.  Again, I just wonder if there could have been a class in seminary that really gave us all these basics about church administration.  So often I think churches these days just hire executive pastors who either have business degrees or some background in it.   Praise God that Mike and the Grace staff have had faith in me and have been willing to invest in my continuing education in on the job training for all the things seminary failed to teach me.  

Mobile Church Quandry

About a month ago I began to furiously pursue places to have our Christmas eve services. We normally hold one service at our usual location, the Florida Hospital Seventh Day Adventist Church, right after they finish their service. This year however, we expect more people than can fit into one service there, and they're still planning to do their service at 7:00 as usual. So we had to go find another place. Most of our ideas revolved around other churches, until we were able to work through someone in our church to get the Orlando Shakespeare Theatre.

We've got our spot reserved, our deposit is in. We will probably have some sort of background on stage from whatever play is being performed in the theatre the day before. We have to bring in our whole sound system, all props, and and all video and projection equipment. ($$$$$$) We also have to figure out a way to legally and excellently do a candle lighting ceremony. I initially received a tentative no to having candles at the service at all, so I'm working this morning to gather some ammo to bring a proposal to them again. I'm looking at all our options.

We can have the typical emkay candles with the paper drip stop, but we'd have to do the whole candle lighting element outside...we'd have to get 325 people outside quickly and efficently and pray its not raining (remember, this is Orlando). Any candles indoors have to be protected in some sort of "vase" as the fire marshall put it when I spoke to her this morning. But she was very helpful to me this morning, said she would be looking around to see what she could find today. I'm going to try and come up with two or three options for doing it inside, and hope the people at the theatre will buy it.

One viable option is those LED fake candles, if I can find the right ones, but it's just not the same, you know? If any mega-church administrators or people who have experience with LED candles are reading this, can you comment and post some websites or leads that I might follow on candle protectors or good-looking handheld LED candles?

Holiday on the Drive Prep

I know, I know.  I haven't been very good about typing something on here this week.  I never know sometimes how candid to be on here, or how to really convey some of the things on my mind.  I've been thinking a lot of deeper thoughts, just keeping them between me and God and a few close friends for now.  I could just write fluff, and I do every now and then, but if you'd wanted fluff you'd probably be watching TV right now.  

 

So we're going to be busy, real busy, for the next two weeks, those of us on the worship team.  We're the headlining band at a little Christmas street festival here in College Park.  We have a lot of practicing to do.  My little fingers hurt as I type because I've been playing guitar all day pretty much, and I tend to have sort of a vise grip especially when I play in G major.  I've got to start playing more during the week just to keep those calluses good and....callused (sp?).  We're doing a mix of Christmas songs and "Secular" songs (I hate that word but no one I know of has thought of an alternative way of saying the same concept).  Pray that these songs will come together, that the band will focus, that we'll be excited and really learn these things as best we can.  We want that Saturday, Dec. 1 to be a great way for us to be seen in the community, with the ultimate goal that people will decide to come to church and then hearts would be changed because they hear the message of Christ.  

Well, gotta go...I'm off to see Bourne Ultimatum at the cheap theatre!  God, please let there be no gum or other nastiness on my seat....

Robbed.

This morning I had intentions of, before going to the office, stopping at a local park where I often have good times with God. So as I approached the left turn I needed to get onto the main street through which I access the road that leads to the park, I found that main road blocked off totally by construction. I turned around and headed down the next street that was open, hoping that I could just end up back on the street I really wanted a block down the road. Didn't happen.

No, I found myself weaving my way all around, up and down bumpy, holy, brick roads in Winter Park, through traffic that was also trying to figure out its way to avoid the street that was being worked on. By the time I finally got to the street I needed to access the park where I wanted to have my quiet time, I was so frustrated and bummed! I also would have only had about 15 minutes, but I knew that my heart was not in a great place, so I just said "Screw it," I went to the office and attempted a quiet time there.

At the office I found that my mind wandered, my Scripture reading didn't bring any real amazing truth that jumped out at me. Since this morning, I've had a couple of very brief moments in conversation or listening to a song that I've felt the impact of a truth and realized God is still here, but I don't feel centered and surrendered like I want to be. Like Mike said Sunday, it's not always going to be this magical, amazing time, right off the bat. You have to train yourself for godliness and discipline, and as you move further up and further in (see Lewis' The Last Battle), you'll find Him to be more and more real, and you find your real self more and more. I hope that my quiet times won't be robbed from me all the time, that I'll learn to surrender whatever attitude I have and get quiet before Him. And hopefully the freakin' park will be accessible too!

Response to this Weekend

So much has come together this week into this past weekend, that has been pretty huge, I think a catalyst for some great personal growth. Reading the second chapter of Tozer's Pursuit of God, doing some Scriptural reflection on David vs. Saul, attending Hillsong United's Conference in Orlando, and having church yesterday all have come together for a weekend filled with re-connection with God. I've found myself thankful to God, and praying for more revelation, for more hunger, for strength to act on what I've heard this weekend and on how God has used these circumstances to speak to my heart. It's been a great weekend. I am reminded of Paul's response to the glory of God in his purposes in Romans:

"Oh the depths of the riches of the wisdom
and the knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
...For from Him, and through Him, and to Him be all things, to Him be glory forever!"

I was reminded of a quote from Psalm 48 that I heard Brian Houston using on a video this weekend: "As we have heard, so we have seen, in the city of the Lord Almighty, in the city of our God: God makes her secure forever." If we trust in Him, cling to Him, hold on to Him, make him our treasure above all else, He promises nothing short of all that He is. I think that's a pretty good bargain.

God-filled Weekend Ahead

I am so pumped about going to the Hillsong United conference starting tonight at Baptist world here in Orlando. I've been really listening up some of their songs in the last couple weeks. When you kind of set aside everything else and just sit and listen, or watch their DVD's, you find the songs are awesome. The lyrics to many of the songs are so rich.

I have high hopes and desires for this time as to what it would be for me. I am in need of a closeness of God's presence. I want intimacy with Him, and I want it to be lasting, not just the old conference high that goes away and you're back to normal by next Wednesday. I pray that this weekend is a catalyst for some real spiritual growth for me, as well as my wife, and our friends who are coming with us. Church and leading worship on Sunday should be awesome after this, if any of us have voices...

Two Shorts with Francis Chan

I love Chan's use of props. It really makes the point.


Now to lighten it up, this is absolutely hilarious.

The Simplicity of Longing for God

My friend Dave Paul will be excited to know that I'm diving in to A.W. Tozer's classic "The Pursuit of God." It's one of those books that is in the vein of C.S. Lewis' nonfiction writings, where you have to read and re-read before you get what is really being said. Tozer was deeply influenced by reading the mystics, who lived centuries ago and spoke often of experiences of deep communion with God.

In the first chapter of the book, he is saddenned by the complacency in the hearts of Christians in the modern world when it comes to knowing God, communining with Him, and desiring Him. Specifically, he seems to go after something I can really relate to in my past--instead of knowing God, seeking Him, I've spent years learning about Him, but somehow neglecting knowing Him in it. I mean, I know God. I surrendered my life to him as a young kid, but surrender is a daily activity. Somewhere I theological studies, the truth ceased to be transformational as I got mired down.

Our pastor Mike preached a sermon on temptation this morning. He basically walked through the teaching of James 1, how temptation works. As he was talking I reflected on how evil has been described as a parasite on good (Augustine?). As Mike said, Desire is God-given. Tozer points to that as well. Without desire, we would not pursue God. Tozer often called this desire a "Burning heart"; those people who long for God deeply in the core of their being, are "Children of the Burning Heart."

In my life, temptation draws me toward lesser things. Even though I know in my head that God is all love, all-satisfying, all-consuming, the pure desire that is deep within meant for Him, gets infected by evil. In temptation, God-given desire is twisted, mis-directed toward something that ultimately leads me away from God. Thus, if I give in, I "exchange the truth of God for a lie." When I've spent time giving in to temptation, and then keeping myself busy so I don't have to sit in guilt, I get complacent in my pursuit. I'll leave you with a couple quotes from Tozer:

"I want deliberately to encourage this mighty longing after God. The lack of it has brought us to our present low estate. The stiff and wooden quality about our religious lives is a result of our lack of holy desire. Complacency is a deadly foe of all spiritual growth. Acute desire must be present or there will be no manifestation of Christ to His people. He waits to be wanted. Too bad that with many of us He waits so long, so very long, in vain."

And his closing prayer from chapter 1:

"O God, I have tasted your goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully aware of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want You, I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Your glory, I pray, so that I may know You indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, 'Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.' Then give me grace to rise and follow You up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus name, Amen."

I Can't Fathom

This morning between an early morning men's group and staff meeting, I was listening to a sermon by Francis Chan where he described a video that zoomed out from earth to the universe. From this, I found myself watching youtube videos on the immensity of the universe, and I googled the Hubble Ultra Deep Field. Crazy. Just crazy. It blows my mind. Each point of light, even the most minute points of light on here, are not stars, but GALAXIES. The ones that are close up, as you see, are each beautiful, and yet each point of light represents a span of millons of light years, each span containing billions of stars.

The Psalmist didn't have any telescopes; the stars that he saw are the same stars we see with our eyes at night. Even in complete darkness away from any light pollution, we're seeing .000000000000000000001 of what's actually there. This was his response:

O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
above the heavens.

From the lips of children and infants
you have ordained praise [b]
because of your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger.

When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

...Yet we are God's chosen people, dearly beloved. The same God that made all this purely for his pleasure and our delight, dwells in the midst of us. Crazy.

Choir Practice. And Love.

My Mom and Grandma (Mom's mom) flew in this afternoon. I called my Grandma just to check in with her and related that I wouldn't be seeing them tonight as they're driving to their hotel and settling in and we have rehearsal. My mom lives in Amarillo where there's no traffic and she has to go from OIA to Altamonte Embassy Suites. So that'll be enough for one day for them. Anyways, later on in the conversation, my Grandma repeats back to me, "Oh that's right, I won't be seeing you until tomorrow because you have choir practice."

Boy are they in for a shocker on sunday when they come to church. I'm going to remind them to sit near the back and be ready for the music to be loud. And be ready to hear hymns like they've never been done before (We're doing O Worship the King and O For 1000 Tongues). It's such a contrast what I grew up with and what they love compared to what even I grew up with, then progressing to what we do at Grace. And if you're not a Grace attender and you're reading this, NO we don't have a choir. My wife is the choir. She sings whatever part no one else is singing.

Monday and then today I've been really contemplating love. Agape love. The kind of love in Matthew 22:37-40, which Jesus said is the greatest command. I'm really being challenged to face how deep my love is for God in daily life. I mean when I'm caught up and feeling it in worship I have huge love for God, but when I'm typing away at my desk or hanging out at the apartment, am I dialed in to my love for Him? Am I then dialed into living others equally to the way I love myself?

I watched Francis Chan's message from Passion 07 on "Loving God in a Lukewarm Church." I highly recommend it. I really do love God, but I felt convicted about the words in Revelation about the lukewarm church. Studying the Bible in my college and even some of my seminary years I always thought this meant they weren't filled with the knowledge and surrender to the Sovereign God who foreordained them from eternity. I guess I just somehow skipped over the simplicity of it. Do you really love God or are you a poser? Are you filled with amazement and awe at how he's loved you and just can't help but respond with love back? I hope that as He gives me the strength I can dial back into this love. I am feeling that momentum building in my life and I'm liking in. And I'm a little scared. It's not passion--well, it is---but, its what is expected! Thoughts are a-stirring....

Thoughts from this Morning

This morning I preached at Grace Fellowship; I based my sermon on Acts 2:42-47. The main point was this: If we believed that Jesus has given us his all, and is continuing to give his all, and will give us his all, then we would be a community of people living out of awe.

I've had mixed feelings today as I mulled over how things went. My hope and prayer is that something connected with those at Grace today. I'm aware of my own need to experience awe at Christ; there are wonderful moments of intimacy with Him that happen when I find myself in worship, and something connects. That's the kind of stuff I hoped to communicate today, that others would experience the same. Saturday after I practiced the sermon I watched a portion of the Hillsong DVD Savior King. The combination of music and lyrics makes many of these songs very powerful. For example, "Here in My Life" has a resounding chorus:

You are my freedom
Jesus You're the reason
I'm kneeling again at your throne
Where would I be without you here in my life?

As I've reflected on this morning's thoughts, I know I could make a lot of improvements as a communicator. I'm young! I'm a young preacher and I tried a knew method of sermon prep this time. I didn't try the old reformed way. My hope is that as the life of Holy Spirit is formed in me more, that it will show any time I bring the spoken word. I hope that I can be more relaxed, more real, more effective as a communicator. I realized that while many of the concepts I talked about this morning were great, the problem is just that, there were many concepts! I tried to take the audience on a journey, but I think I made a few unnecessary stops. There are probably two months worth of sermons in what I said this morning.

I think one of the things I most desired to communicate was the burden that Jesus has for his bride, which is US. Many of my friends, even my parents, have experienced betrayal, pain, and hurt at the hands of church members and church leaders. Jesus experienced insult, hurt, and betrayal by church leaders...AT THE VERY MOMENT HE WAS SUFFERING AND DYING TO PAY FOR THEIR HURTING AND INSULTING AND BETRAYING! He loves the church, has given his all for the church, and even now with all its failings and problems, Jesus is still giving his all to the church. So are we righteous in our response to turn our back on that which Jesus loves the most on this earth? I hope that those who have little time or respect for the church will not find in this a finger in their face, but a pleading, a prayer that they would be open to the process of healing, of seeking fellowship again; of joining community again, even when it's not meeting your needs, even when its messy.

Sovereign Grace in Redemptive- historico-covenantal Reformation Theology

Funny thing is, many of the above words are rich in their meaning; unfortunately, they're often used to show off...if I can impress you with words, you'll give me more respect...

If you read some of the blogs that our pastor Mike has linked to, you'll see a few churches that, like ours, are really seeking what it looks like to love the world, to be Jesus to the world. It was interesting growing up in Grand Rapids, MI, where you have all these churches and 90% were not growing. Only Rob Bell's church grew. And then everybody got mad at Rob Bell because they saw liberal theology and influences in his writings and messages. How about learning a lesson...Mars Hill was the only church ever in GR to grow so fast!

Of course, the response is along the lines of, "It grows because people love hearing liberal teaching...the same way everybody loved Robert Schuller for his positive thinking." In other words, just plug in the whole critique of the church growth movement. Bottom line is, yes, there is some questionable teaching in some large churches in America today. But many of those churches having been preaching the true gospel! In fact, they're not just preaching it, but seeking to live it out as organizations and instill Christ-living in their congregations.

Look at Elevation Church in Charlotte. They didn't take an offering this past Sunday. Instead they GAVE AWAY $40,000 to their congregation and said, "Take this money and go bless someone." While the Tenth Reformed Presbyterian Church parking lot somewhere in the U.S. sat full of Escalades and Lincolns, and their drivers were listening to lengthy quotes from John Calvin's Institutes as part of the message. I guess I have a little bit of a beef with this sort of thing, because I was around it for so long. Ever so slowly God is changing my perspective on what it means to be Jesus to the community. It's really hard for me to get out of my Christian bubble mindset. I encourage you to read Mike's blog about the book "UnChristian." Sounds like an interesting book, and hopefully a little convicting...

The Rescue

I came across this today...powerful read.

The face that Moses had begged to see-was forbidden to see-was slapped bloody (Exodus 33:19-20). The thorns that God had sent to curse the earth’s rebellion now twisted around his brow…

“On your back with you!” One raises a mallet to sink in the spike. But the soldier’s heart must continue pumping as he readies the prisoner’s wrist. Someone must sustain the soldier’s life minute by minute, for no man has this power on his own. Who supplies breath to his lungs? Who gives energy to his cells? Who holds his molecules together? Only by the Son do “all things hold together” (Colossians 1:17). The victim wills that the solider live on –he grants the warriors continued existence. The man swings.

As the man swings, the Son recalls how he and the Father first designed the medial nerve of the human forearm-the sensations it would be capable of. The design proves flawless-the nerves perform exquisitely. “Up you go!” They lift the cross. God is on display in his underwear and can scarcely breathe.

But these pains are a mere warm-up to his other and growing dread. He begins to feel a foreign sensation. Somewhere during this day an unearthly foul odor began to waft, not around his nose, but his heart. He feels dirty. Human wickedness starts to crawl upon his spotless being-the living excrement from our souls. The apple of his Father’s eye turns brown with rot.

His Father! He must face his Father like this!

From heaven the Father now rouses himself like a lion disturbed, shakes his mane, and roars against the shriveling remnant of a man hanging on a cross. Never has the Son seen the Father look at him so, never felt even the least of he hot breath. But the roar shakes the unseen world and darkens the visible sky. The Son does not recognize these eyes.

“Son of Man! Why have you behaved so? You have cheated, lusted, stolen, gossiped-murdered, envied, hated, lied. You have cursed, robbed, overspent, overeaten-fornicated, disobeyed, embezzled, and blasphemed. Oh, the duties you have shirked, the children you have abandoned! Who has ever so ignored the poor, so played the coward, so belittled my name? Have you ever held your razor tongue? What a self-righteous, pitiful drunk-you, who molest young boys, peddle killer drugs, travel in cliques, and mock your parents. Who gave you the boldness to rig elections, foments revolutions, torture animals, and worship demons? Does the list never end!! Splitting families, raping virgins, acting smugly, playing the pimp-buying politicians, practicing exhortation, filming pornography, accepting bribes. You have burned down buildings, perfected terrorist tactics, founded false religions, traded in slaves-relishing each morsel and bragging about it all. I hate, loathe these things in you! Disgust from everything about you consumes me!!! Can you not feel my wrath?”

Of course the Son is innocent. He is blamelessness itself. The Father knows this. But the divine pair have an agreement, and the unthinkable must now take place. Jesus will be treated as if personally responsible for every sin ever committed.

The father watches as his heart’s treasure, the mirror-image of himself, sinks down into raw, liquid sin. Jehovah’s stored rage against humankind from every century explodes in a single direction.

“Father! Father! Why have you forsaken me?!”
But heaven stops its ears. The Son stares up at the One who cannot, who will not, reach down or reply.

The Trinity had planned it. The Son endured it. The Spirit enabled him. The Father accepted his sacrifice for sin and was satisfied. The Rescue was accomplished.


From the book When God Weeps by Steven Estes and Joni Eareckson

Lots of thoughts swimming....

I came to know Christ at a very young age. I can honestly say I don't think there was ever a time that I didn't know Him. But sometimes I've felt so far from Him. Like I know of Him, I know Him in my head, the truth of who Jesus is sometimes gets so repeated over and over again that at times I've lost the power of the story of Scripture.

My friend and pastor Mike (see his blog to the right, I highly recommend it) today gave a talk, not a sermon. It was a heartfelt message that God had called Him to give, like a burden, something he had to say. He had gone to the Cataylst Conference in Atlanta where God convicted him. Through hearing Mike's heart today and some of the reading and talking to my friend David tonight, I'm feeling convicted as well. I feel like in my walk with Jesus I'm just scratching the surface of who he wants me to be as a follower. God's message from Mike was about living every moment of every day for the glory of God in the world as his Kingdom, which is manifest in his church, advances.

Advancing the kingdom. We often get the picture of something like a crusader, fighting the forces of evil, preaching hell-fire and brimstone. Jesus was quite different from that. How did he advance the kingdom? He didn't lay his weapons down, he just used a different kind of offense. He didn't pick up the sword. He picked up a towel and wrapped it around his waist.

Resuming the thought from the first paragraph...Mike talked about how he was so radical when he first surrendered everything to Jesus and invited him in. My parents have told me about how I used to ask to pray before I went into surgeries (I had quite a few when I was a kid). I have times of being close to Jesus. Even in the last few years of feeling an overall slow movement in my spiritual growth. But I haven't had one of those breakthrough moments, I don't think, in a while. I've had some emotional highs and lows, but I've been somewhat in a rut, I think. I lost my focus.

I'm prideful at times. Not just at times...LOTS of times. My ego gets in the way, and it's so counter to what Jesus has called us to...deny yourself. Humble yourself before Him and let Him lift you up. Take the crappiest seat at the banquet table. Take up the basin and the towel. I feel like I've said these things, sang the song (below). It's like Mike said today....I've done a lot of really good stuff, but some of it has not been out of the heart of intense burden and passion that Jesus had(has). I'd like to think it has been. I love serving at our church. It's a tremendous privilege. I just think Jesus wants to do something in my heart. In a lot of hearts of people in our church.

Worship is my pathway to God, so a lot of songs have been swimming around in my head today. Michael Card's Basin and the Towel.




Also His "The Things we Leave Behind". I apologize for the vids, they're not life-changing. But the lyrics are awesome.


And lastly, the lyrics to an old hymn redone by Indelible Grace a few years back:
"Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken"
by Henry Francis Lyte, 1793-1847
1. Jesus, I my cross have taken,
All to leave and follow Thee;
Destitute, despised, forsaken,
Thou from hence my All shalt be.
Perish every fond ambition,
All I've sought or hoped or known;
Yet how rich is my condition!
God and heaven are still my own.

2. Let the world despise and leave me,
They have left my Savior, too.
Human hearts and looks deceive me;
Thou art not, like them, untrue.
And while Thou shalt smile upon me,
God of wisdom, love, and might,
Foes may hate and friends may shun me;
Show Thy face, and all is bright.

3. Go, then, earthly fame and treasure!
Come, disaster, scorn, and pain!
In Thy service, pain is pleasure;
With Thy favor, loss is gain.
I have called Thee Abba, Father!
I have stayed my heart on Thee.
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather,
All must work for good to me.

4. Man may trouble and distress me,
'Twill but drive me to Thy breast;
Life with trials hard may press me,
Heaven will bring me sweeter rest.
Oh, 'tis not in grief to harm me
While Thy love is left to me;
Oh, 'twere not in joy to charm me
Were that joy unmixed with Thee.

5. Take, my soul, thy full salvation;
Rise o'er sin and fear and care;
Joy to find in every station,
Something still to do or bear.
Think what Spirit dwells within thee,
What a Father's smile is thine,
What a Savior died to win thee;
Child of heaven, shouldst thou repine?

6. Haste, then, on from grace to glory,
Armed by faith and winged by prayer;
Heaven's eternal day's before thee,
God's own hand shall guide thee there.
Soon shall close the earthly mission,
Swift shall pass thy pilgrim days,
Hope soon change to glad fruition,
Faith to sight, and prayer to praise.

Passionate Worship

I have to admit I'm a little jealous of my friends who decided on Tuesday to go to Atlanta for this little conference called Catalyst. I remember being there a couple years ago and loving a lot of what we heard, but loving the music, the singing worship songs to God. It was just awesome. I remember them doing a cover of "Kyrie" by Mr. Mister, which is an awesome song. I love and long for those times of worship. So much so that I've wondered at times in my life if I'm just addicted to the high of emotion that I feel sometimes when I'm just all in, really dialed in to the moment.

At our offices we have Hillsong Music's DVD of Savior King looping in our lobby. Sometimes I'll stand and watch it. It is so inspiring because the crowd and the leaders on stage are full of reckless abandon to God. Sometimes, it's almost like pain that's on their faces as they sing. It's like they just can't hold on any longer, they MUST get out what they are singing. It's especially true of me when we play "From the Inside out."



When we play on stage at Grace, it's hard sometimes to tell if people are really engaging in worship. We get tons of comments about how we sound good, we did a nice job, etc. But rarely does someone come up and say how they met God in the music, how it moved them. This whole dynamic is a very subjective area, I mean, who am I to say that someone isn't really worshipping God? I just love watching videos like this though, and when I do take a break from playing guitar, I enjoy just receiving and giving back to God without worrying about playing the chords. I hope that I can work to get the chords down well enough that it doesn't inhibit me, and I hope our church congregation will be so excited and drawn to the heart of God that they can't help but raise their hands, clap, cry, kneel, in worship to Him who is worthy to receive all glory, honor, power, blessing, riches, and strength!

Glimpsing God-sized vision

My ministry partners Mike Adkins and David Paul took me along to a conferencetoday. It was awesome stuff about spiritual growth in the church. I’m in such a learning phase right now, at times I’m almost overwhelmed by what I need to learn and develop. But I’m also really excited as I read and watch videos and read blogs and learn. There are times each day this week, just for a few seconds, I’ll have this thought about what could be at Grace and how I could be a part of it if I was “dialed in” totally. Really sold out like the apostles. I'd like to think God would bless me to be a Greg Hawkins or John Ortberg or something...what I mean by that, is that I would play a role in something huge. I already do, Grace is already making a great impact for the Kingdom, but there is so much more ahead.

When I have these glimpses, it takes my breath away because I realize I have a long way to go but I think God can use me (he already is). It’s like what is happening now is very important foundational groundwork, but it’s only whispers of what could be. I think that's how the apostles felt. I guess even if it’s just for a few seconds each day I’m learning to dream God-sized dreams. I hope God fans the flame.

Wrapping up Marriage Small Groups

We've been having small groups in our church for the past three weeks around the topic of marriage, watching a series of sermons by Andy Stanley. The teaching is absolutely awesome; it has to be the best, simplest yet most profound teaching on marriage I've ever heard. Andy has a gift for teaching a Biblical truth and really getting across the siginificance of it.

One of the insights I had last night as we talked about desires vs. expectations was "If you expect your spouse to do something, and they fail/forget to do it, you can be angry at them. But if its something you desire and they don't do it, you can be hurt and disappointed." I think hurt is behind anger anyway. When somebody cuts me off on the road, I'm hurt that they are disrespecting me, I'm hurt by their rudeness. It is Jesus who wants to be there when we hurt. He desires that we would come running to Him, and not to anything else, for comfort and healing in our hurts.

Andy talked last night about bringing our desires to God, casting all our cares on Him. We often think of bringing our hurts to Him, but do we bring our desires to Him? Our group discussed how we pray these prayers with 15 qualifiers usually along the lines of "If it's your will...." God said "Seek me first, and I'll give you the things you desire." I think this ties in with Piper's famous idea "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." Yet I think God loves to shower us with His blessings big and small as we continually humble ourselves before him. Humbling ourselves, as Andy explains it, is seeking Him first, being willing to let God's deal be more important that my deal. "In due time, he will lift you up." "Ask and you shall receive." "He will give you the desires of your heart." Maybe I should read Piper's book Desiring God. Does anyone have insights from that book along these lines?

He is on our side

Came across this a couple months ago and forgot about it. The studio recording is on iTunes and is much better quality, but this video is worth watching. She starts singing around 1:45. Amazing song. Take 8 minutes, turn up your speakers and watch and listen. It's Bethany Dillon, "You Are On Our Side."

Finally got what I came for...

The first week of May, 2001, I graduated on a Friday from Reformed Bible College, a little college of 300 or so students, now renamed "Kuyper College" as if that's easier for a person to grasp the meaning of the name...Anyways, for a week I lived on the floor of an empty room with all my stuff in boxes in a house with some guys. During that week I was still making calls to Orlando, trying to figure out where I was going to live. I knew only one person in Orlando at the time and he was way to busy with five kids plus a full load of Seminary classes to take time to help me out. But God worked it out. For $200 a month, I'd stay in an 8 x 11 room in a house with a 70 year old cigar smoking guy, as well as his huge black lab, and a fellow RTS student from Taiwan who was up in the morning at 5:00 every day for prayer and studied until late at night on a stomach full of boiled chicken feet.

So I brought my 20 boxes of books, some of them weighing in at 65 lbs, to the closest UPS store in Grand Rapids--it took two loads since I only had a compact car, and cost about $550. One week after graduating college, I embarked on the longest drive I'd ever made in my life. I packed my Ford Festiva with no air conditioning to the gills. I mean, you could not have possibly fit another thing in there except in my lap. I arrived in Orlando, the next day after staying Chattanooga overnight, settled in and found a job as a meat cutter at Publix, and started my seminary education.

I know I'm skipping a TON, that maybe I'll cover some time, but fast foward. Now it's May 2007, six years later. I finally got to walk down the aisle at commencement. Problem was, when they handed me the diploma booklet, it was empty. I still had one more course to do. Over the past two years I had been doing course week through the RTS virtual campus (a great way to do seminary...). I still had to take the "Pastoral and Social Ethics" course. Well, today, finally, and not without some painful forcing myself to do it, I finished the last RTS course. I finished writing this stupid paper that's been hanging over my head for three weeks. I had to do it or the Seminary was going to put me on the December grad list (oooo, big deal....) Mostly the motivation came from within, just being tired of reading or writing or memorizing because I HAVE to. From now on, all continuing education will be stuff I WANT to read or listen to. AND, with my fingers crossed that I haven't failed the ethics course, I can finally say, "I have completed my graduate education!"

In the few short weeks I've been in full time ministry I find myself completely unprepared in a few things, but not in others. Seminary was definitely beneficial, but the education certainly has not stopped. In many ways, its just starting. Now starts on the job training, like when I listened to a church friend talk to me about his marriage that was breaking up and he didn't know what else could possibly be done. Hmmm...well the historico-redemptive-covenantal theological model tells us that....Nope. Forget that crap. How about, "God hates divorce. Period."

Could have said that before I even started RTS. But at least now I got some credentials. And maybe next time I'll write from the other perspective and talk about how valuable my theological education has been. Just thought I'd try telling a story this time. Fun huh?

Maawidge is what bwings us togetha here today

Last night we crammed about 16 of us into a room smaller than my wife and I's bedroom at the church offices and began a three week journey of discussion about marriage. You guys all remember the title line, I hope (you might not if you're just a few years younger than me...) Mike's sermon on Sunday was awesome, he just talked about some of the basic needs of men and women in order to encourage husbands and wives as to how to love each other well.

The idea of self-sacrifice, laying down your life for the other, is basic. This is easy to talk about but so tough to apply in our lives. Countless marriages are being lost today because we are so focused on ourselves. Last night in the group we watched a sermon by Andy Stanley where he talked about iMarriage... I marriage, where we enter into a contract and focus on what I want and I need and then how the other person fails to hold up their end of the bargain. Honestly, did Christ enter into a contract with us, or a covenant of unconditional love? He said, "This command I give you: As I have loved you, so you also love one another."

Traffic Court

Yep. For the first (and hopefully the only) time in my life, I went to traffic court in downtown Orlando. Earlier this summer, when I worked for the county, I was driving an F550 utility truck, stopped at a stop light and, unaware I was even doing it, I released pressure on the brake just enough that the vehicle crept foward very slowly and hit the vehicle in front of me. I got a four point ticket for careless driving.

Today I went with this whole argument to make, a bunch of notes, and finally the judge called my name. What probably actually worked against me was that the guy I had hit showed up as a witness, and testified that I had, in fact, rear-ended him when we were stopped at a stop light. However, the officer who gave the ticket never showed. Even so, which I was surprised at, she did not dismiss the case right away. So then I started into my explanation of the incident, I got about three sentences in and the judge interrupted, "It's a careless driving violation." She decided to take all the points off my license, but upheld the fine of the ticket plus court costs, so I had to pay $145 today.

It was weird being happy but pissed at the same time. Honestly, the "pissed" won over in terms of my feelings. I guess I should feel happy that in the end this is cheaper because I'm saving all the money from my insurance that would have went up if the points had been assessed. But I was bummed about the $145. That's a whole day's wages and then some! So...I guess grace was served, but not as much as it could have been.

It gets me thinking about the ethics of driving. Obviously it was a complete accident that I didn't push the brake hard enough...it would have been hard enough for any other vehicle we drive today, but that truck required me to push the brakes harder. Point is, we make these mistakes, we speed, etc., and then get tickets. It's part of our government's system. I don't know when it started but I think greenbacks had something to do with it. But Paul said "He is God's servant to do you good. ...He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer....therefore it is necessary to submit." Speeding tickets are plain in this regard because the speeder is breaking the law of the posted speed limit. The person who rear-ends someone is not using better judgment to drive more carefully, maintain distance, etc. So you'd think the accident and the costs of repair is enough consequence, but the government does have a "right" to tag on their consequences as well, which they often do, even if you do sit there 3 hours waiting for them to show up and do so...(I can't help it, I at least have to be a little sarcastic!). So, I guess I should thank God for using his instrument to bring grace compared to what could have been served. (Did you know the judge can decide to increase your penalties over and above the original ticket?).

Sometimes I process by writing things out. So thanks for reading my ramblings, and watch how you drive, cause even the littlest mistake can be costly!

Video I like

I find myself playing this when I warm up at rehearsal, a cool cover of Dear Prudence By John Lennon.

The hope of the world

Today at the end of the day, my friend and pastor, Mike, asked if I had about 45 minutes, he wanted me to come to his office and watch something. It was a video of a message by Bill Hybels from one of Willow Creek's conferences. The message was an inspirational message about what the Acts 2 church was like, and what if that kind of church existed today. There's no reason it can't, he said. You just have to watch it to get it, I'm nowhere near doing it justice. Toward the end of it, he talked about two things: the church is, logically, the hope of the world; and when the church is functioning right, there is nothing like it this side of heaven. He talked about the joys and the pains of ministry, the highs that are higher than anything you can ever experience, and the hard times that are just devastating. I've seen more than a few people go through those lows and decide to quit the church. They decide the pain is just too great, the sacrifice too costly. Many of them eventually come back, praise God, but today's message just reinforced to me the burden that Christ has. Christ's goal in the current time period, between his first and second comings, is to build his church, AKA the kingdom. He has given all that he has and is, devoted himeslf to us, his people. No matter how messy it got, Christ was faithful, and completed his mission. He's given us direction to follow in His footsteps. How dangerous! Yet how honoring, that we would be able to join the God of all in His mission. That is the kind of passion that drives a man like Bill Hybels and other leaders of the church today. I found myself praying that God would build in me that intimacy with Him, and that heart of undying committment and love to Him and to his Bride. Christ is the hope of the world, and his chosen vessel to convey it across the world is the church.r


Different topic, I have traffic court tomorrow. I am really hoping that God shows up and works grace and mercy in the situation. At a stop light, I accidentally let off the brake enough that the truck I was driving at the time (an F550 when I worked at the county) crept foward and struck the car in front of me. I was going less than 1 MPH. The cop showed up like 3 hours later and gave me a four point ticket for careless driving. It felt a little harsh, so I'm praying that grace will be shown, the easiest thing would probably be of the officer didn't show up. Please Lord, let me off the hook, it was the tiniest error!

Do you weep in staff meeting today?

I grew up in church. I'm not a PK (preacher's kid) but close. When I think about the many churches I've either personally attended or observed, on the whole, I don't get the sense of a group of leaders who sit and are so overwhelmed by the goodness of God, or on the other hand, so honest about the struggles of life, that they'll spend time in staff meeting thanking God or fervently praying, so much so that everyone is in tears. Yet that is what staff was like today. I don't want you to think it's like that all the time, but...what if it was? I think it would mean God is at work. He's at work anyway, but I think we were overjoyed at seeing how our work has paid off, that God showed up and business was done in people's hearts. We all talked about the good things we noticed about yesterday's church services. And at the same meeting shared our struggles.

One of the other things I liked was the accolades I received from everyone regarding my job so far. I put a lot of hard work in the last two weeks, and it has paid off, benefitting the church and our staff in many ways. I look foward to putting more systems in place. I never really learned in seminary about some of the business side of running a church. We never talked at all about 403b's, corporate filings, payroll, human resources, office management, systems for different programs, even how to structure your church around a discipleship process. Most churches don't even have a clear discipleship process. At Grace, we are in a stage of developing these systems and processes, getting our house in order as we simultaneously look for the next step, as our purpose statement says ("helping people take their next step toward Christ" [TM] Just kidding about the trademark, but still don't plagarize).

Whew!

Well, as I took things a little easy on labor day, the rest of the week was crazy just getting a lot of things done around our new Grace offices in College Park. For the first time in my life, I have an office at my work! It's so cool. Pic forthcoming as soon as I finish getting it in shape. The file cabinet is kind of scraped up on top, so I may spray paint it.

We are a small staff right now and we have a great volunteer team, but there is still so much to do. This is a good thing, just a bit tiring. But the difference is that I love my job. The danger for me lies in not spending enough time with my wife, or around the house or just for me time. I think today was the Sunday we were all ramping up for, in some ways more than for Christmas or Easter. Tomorrow I should hear more about how it's paid off. The sermon and media were nothing short of awesome though--I could sense that God was present and the next few weeks should be good as we go through this iMarriage series. I pray that staff, volunteers, all of us would be willing to realize that it is God working though us, without Him we would just be doing all this work but lives would not be getting changed. As I watched a man estranged from his wife who rarely comes to church walk in and shuffle through people and sit next to his wife, I said a prayer that God would begin to move in his heart and bring conviction, healing, all the stuff that is needed in this man's life.

I am pumped about Friday. For the last three years or so I've slumped off in following Dave Matthews Band and buying up all their music and going to concerts. Partly this is because my experiences of seeing them in Tampa haven't been the greatest. Well earlier this year I bought 8 tickets to see DMB in West Palm. I've been trying to get rid of the tickets, hopefully they will be gone so I can get my money back... But I'm looking foward to the trip, there's at least 6 of us going that I know, we're trying to get two more. I hope the concert is awesome! I realy hope Anne likes it as well. She hasn't shared my enthusiasm for DMB, hopefully she will have fun anyway. We both had a great time at Night of Joy on Friday, watching David Crowder with his craziness, and then having an awesome worship time with Leeland. Very cool stuff.

I have an unspoken prayer request--pray for COMFORT and HOPE in our lives this week. Sorry to be all cryptic, but I trust God to answer prayers, even if we can't be specific, because he knows the specific thing and the specific answer, even better than we do.

First Thoughts

I have a whole bunch of thoughts that I could begin with, so I'll list them for you tonight, then maybe expand on them later.

1. I don't consider myself to be a great blogger, so we shall see how this goes. I figured that since my wife is blogging, my new boss and pastor is blogging, a host of great church leaders are blogging (not that I'm a great church leader, but aspire to be one), and tons of other people do, I'd join in.

2. Anyone reading this is probably aware that I recently started a new job as the administrative director at Grace Fellowship. It has been a major shift, probably more major than I even realize at this time; it's still surreal to finally be in full time minstry.

3. I will be figuring out in the next few days/weeks what this blog will be in terms of my authenticity. I consider myself to be authentic to a fault, at times putting my size 11, bunion-deformed foot into my even bigger and also deformed (born with Cleft Lip) mouth. See what I mean? I suspect that one day some people from our church will regularly be reading my blog as well as others, and I hope that I can be real about my own sin and struggles and still be an effective church leader.

4. Speaking of being a leader, I feel like a beginner, and I thought about titling this blog "thoughts of a beginner." But I've been in and around ministry of all kinds for most of my life, but never in full-time capacity. I've worked labor jobs of all kinds, gone to school most of my life, and done ministry on the side. But now, I'm all in. It's the beginning of a journey, and I don't know what's ahead. And I feel hungry to know the One who is my Guide, I feel a bit distant from Him, and I know I want more.

5. When I worked for Orange County, there was this guy in his late 50's, he'd worked for the county nearly 30 years, barely knew how to read or write, but I really enjoyed working with him. He was a lot of fun. When I first got out there with him down in a hole he watched me dig for five minutes, then he said, "Get out of the hole for a minute. You ain't doin' it right. I'm fi'na show you how ta dig. My man, when you get up in the morning, you got ta WANT IT. When I wake up in the morning, I WANT IT!" Over the next few months, nearly every morning he would stroll up to me and ask me if I wanted it that day. So...do you "want it" today?