Jason Vermeulen

White Knuckles

2012-01-01T16:28:00.000-08:00

There's going to be lots of people "white-knuckling" it over the next few days in weeks. Whatever bad habits we want to break, or good habits we want to begin, at the start of a new year we always "try harder" and ratchet up our willpower to make those choices that we hope will help us be better people.

I was reading David Benner this morning about the how we often make obedience and doing the will of God in our everyday lives just like new year's resolutions:

"First, we become aware of some change we feel we should make--more exercise, more praying, less anger, less eating, more play or something along those lines. Then we determine to do the thing we are trying to choose, screwing up our determination and fortifying our resolve. In short, we chose things that are not naturally attractive by reliance on willpower...

"...Don't misunderstand me. Bolstering our determination in order to do important things is obviously crucial for living. And doing things that are not naturally attractive is essential if we are to live responsibly. But what a tragedy if we lump choosing God in with things that are not naturally attractive. Is it any wonder that the thought of surrendering to God's will evokes mixed feelings? Choosing God's dream for us feels like choosing to take bitter medicine" (Discerning God's Will, p. 18-19).

There are a TON of directions to go in just out of these two paragraphs. I find Benner to be the kind of writer that stirs heart and soul and completes thoughts to many of the questions he sparks in my head as I read. I look forward to the remainder of the book.

The reality is that because of the fall it is not naturally attractive to us to choose to say YES to God. The Serpent convinced Adam and Eve that we are not God's beloved. But, the reality of the redeemed heart is that because of the Spirit of Jesus in us, we ARE the beloved. Choosing to say YES to God can become naturally attractive to us over time. But so often we skip over knowing whose we are and where we stand with Him when we become aware that our souls crave more/better life. We attempt to "pray more" or even "surrender more" out of our own willpower. What if the first step is to come to God and simply confess the desire for more/better, which is at its core a desire for HIM, and our inability to achieve "better" on our own? What if we waited and listened and sought Him rather than (or as the foundation of) tightening up our belt?

(Incidentally, this is not the stuff you see on the grocery checkout shelves... this is that part about the foolishness of the Gospel to all of us, until we surrender and receive, that Paul talked about in 2 Corinthians.)

Benner says, "Surrendering to God's will makes little sense if we are not first convinced of the depths of God's love for us.... Learning to prefer God's way to ours and discovering our identity and fulfillment in God's kingdom way demands that we know Love, deeply and personally" (p. 15).

Hoping that in the many decisions you and I face at the start of this new year, we will be able to pause, even for a split second, and acknowledge our Traveling Companion, and surrender to His "good, pleasing, and perfect will."

Thanks-giving is an Act

2011-11-23T19:06:00.000-08:00

In this particular day, for whatever reason (though I think it has to deal with feeling a little worn down), I'm finding it somewhat difficult to feel thankful. There have been many times in my life where that meant I simply didn't give thanks. I numbed out, or went about my day, or continued to feel bad about whatever circumstance I was in.

The reality is that I have a TON to BE thankful for, whether I feel thankful or not. And sometimes, just the writing it, the act of thinking it and acknowledging it, can help bring the emotions in line. Giving thanks is an act of the will at this particular moment, one which I hope will spring up from deep in my soul and incline my heart to God.

Sidebar on "to God": I saw a great quote today on Facebook from Cornelius Plantinga Jr.: "It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful "in general." It's very strange. It's a little like being married in general."

Anyways, here goes. Thank you, Heavenly Father:

For Your precious, amazing, beautiful Son, Jesus

For the Bible, your very words, whereby I may learn and be fed and be transformed.

For the incomprehensible mystery that I may share in the life of Christ

For Holy Spirit living in me and guiding me

For the rich content of the books I've been reading this year that are drawing me closer to You

For the loving, life-giving friendships of the people around me

For my wife, who is a living, breathing, loving means of Your grace to me

For my son Aidan, who is making me feel completely inadequate as a father, thereby making me seek you daily for sustenance and grace to fail.

For my son Brendan, who is simply so cute and loving and mischievous and playful, he is a living picture of what you meant when you said, "Unless you become like one of these, you cannot enter the kingdom of God."

For parents who simply did the best they could, and who continue to love me and be available

For the many family and friends who offer prayers on my behalf.

and For hearing their prayers.

For this season of rest and renewal, and the freedom to let it be that as much as it has been.

For cooler temps to enjoy being outdoors and enjoy You there.

For a roof over our head, gas in our cars, plentiful food in our fridge and pantry

For the variety of music that helps me turn in awareness to You as I go about my activities.

For a forum to write, and gracious readers (all 5 of them...)

For helping my heart come just a little closer to you in gratitude as I write.

It's a Dangerous Thing, Frodo...

2011-11-17T07:21:00.000-08:00

"...Going out your doorstep. You step out onto the road, and there's no telling where you may get swept off to!"

Every time I read this line from Bilbo or get to it in the "Fellowship of the Ring" movie, tears well up. There is something about it; the sense of adventure, excitement, the unknown road ahead. Just now I began reading CS Lewis' The Horse and His Boy for at least the 10th time. It's another book about a long journey, you might say out of "Egypt," which is Calormen in Lewis' fantasy, to the homeland, the one Shasta was created for, Narnia--though he's never even heard of it until now. He and his new friend the horse embark: "Then, still at a walking pace, it went northward till the cottage, the one tree, the donkey's stable, and the creek--everything, in fact, that Shasta had ever known--had sunk out of sight in the grey summer-night darkness."

It's the same moment in the journey where Samwise Gamgee stops in his tracks, and Frodo looks at him, and he says, "This is it, the most amount of steps I've ever been from home." It's this moment that leads Frodo to quote Bilbo's line, above. It's the moment in Pilgrim's Progress when Christian dons his backpack and heads out of town, driven by a specific call and purpose, into a path that he's never been on.

It's the moment when Jesus sees Peter and John near the shore hauling in nets, and says, "Leave your nets, and come follow Me."

He calls each of us to such a journey as well, and he promises, "I will never leave you or forsake you." He invites you and I into the journey, an irresistible call, and promises we will have his companionship no matter what "weathertops", Mines of Moria, "Battles of Helm's Deep" lay ahead. He knows we feel completely ill-prepared for the journey. In fact, that's kind of how he wants it, because then we have to depend on him, and let Him teach us along the way. Will you step out onto the road? Have you already? What's he saying to you in this particular part of the path? Fix your heart and mind on Him, and keep walking.

Know Your Place

2011-10-14T07:21:00.000-07:00

I live and operate near an area of town that is known as a “rich” area. The Starbucks I frequent (VERY often…) always has Escalades, Land Rovers, Audi’s, and BMW’s parked outside it. My wife works in a job that involves customer service and interaction in the same area. Frequently, we observe an attitude of entitlement present in those who have enjoyed worldly success. What one person sees as something that would be nice, another person sees as something that’s due them. Jesus warned that money and knowledge so often foster pride and arrogance in our hearts.

But oh how often I do this too! Most often this has to do with waiting—we get upset if there’s more than 1 person in front of us at the sub counter. I get annoyed at the person relating all the days events to the bank teller while I just want to deposit my check and get out of there. When I worked at a small office at Grace, I would get so uptight when all the spots next to the building were taken and I had to walk—God forbid!—another 100 feet to the front door, or park in the tightly laid out spots where there was risk my car door would be banged and scratched by someone else’s car door.

The attitude can be present and operating no matter how much money one has. When I was a meat cutter my fellow coworkers complained about those customers who “thought their you-know-what didn’t stink.” I myself had the thought today, “What is a rich man but a poor man with lots of money?” While this is true, by such thoughts, are we just trying to promote ourselves as better than the rich person? Are we just wishing the tables were turned, because then we would be happy?

My friend and pastor Mike Adkins used the term “appropriate smallness” a few weeks ago in a sermon. This is the opposite of entitlement. It is seeking re-orienting my heart to the recognition that the rest of the billions of people on the planet are created in the image of God as I am, and have dignity, worth, concerns, struggles, and things to do. It’s recognizing that God is the Creator, and I am the creature, and am no better than the next person, whether I’m redeemed by Jesus’ blood or not.

Jesus said it this way: “Blessed are the poor in Spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Happy, fulfilled, and satisfied are those who recognize their place in the world and in the kingdom of God. Who find their hope and comfort and identity in the sovereign grace of Jesus, and live with gratitude. Who know that whether poor or rich (and I know that I am immensely rich by most of the world’s standards), we are blessed by God.

Behind the Music: Love Like Fire

2011-04-03T18:41:00.000-07:00

This morning in worship at Grace Orlando we sang a song from Hillsong "Love Like Fire" (available here). As I was engaged in worship and singing, a stream of thoughts began flowing through my mind, which I wanted to share with you. These thoughts do not reflect the main message of the lyrics of the song, but they are where my mind and heart went this morning particularly.

As a side note, one of the things I find so helpful in my personal worship, that is beginning to seep more and more into my everyday experience and relationships, is my theological training. I guess $50,000 and 10 years is worth it for a rich experience of God that I can bring to my ministry.

We must begin with the reminder that our God is love. There are countless verses in Scripture that make it abundantly clear. In fact, not too many people would argue otherwise. So in my mind the jump I am making is to sing thinking of God the person (God is love, but love is not God, as Mark Driscoll recently pointed out [I don't know where]).

In the Old Testament, the book of Exodus, God begins to manifest himself visually to his people through different representations of fire, starting with the burning bush, then moving to where he leads the whole congregation into the Sinai plain with his presence being represented by a pillar of fire. One that burns for all to see.

When Israel saw it, it was to them a constant knowledge of the presence of God with them. When Israel wasn't hiking across the plain and had their tents set up, God's "portable church" was also set up in the center of the camp, and there the fire would rest, representing his presence with them.

Fast forward through 1300 years of redemptive history to Acts 2. When the Father sent the Holy Spirit, it says that visually what happened is tongues of fire came down--this represented the presence of God entering every person who surrendered their lives to God, who believed on Jesus for Salvation and asked God to reign in their lives. Every person who "loses their life" to find it again in Jesus is given the gift of the Holy Spirit. The overwhelming significance of this is that the God whose presence was represented by a huge pillar of flame in Exodus now resides not in temples made with human hands but in the HEARTS of every believer.

So now, when we say God’s love is like a fire burning for all to see, it does so in an of itself (God displays his character in many ways apart from man's input), but in part he does so through us, as we bring Him to the world. When we sing songs like this in public, it is one way of publicly declaring his name to those who he has yet to bring into his family. The more his love consumes us, it can't help but be seen and touch the lives of the people around us.

******************

P.S. When we sing we want to worship at his feet, what helps is to remember that God is ALWAYS present, and every moment is an opportunity to worship at his feet through prayer, through activity, through service of others, or a host of other ways of inviting him into our daily activity.

Happy First Birthday to Brendan David

2011-03-11T12:50:00.000-08:00

A year ago today I was working with a friend from church all day building stage props for Grace Orlando (big signs that said "GOD"). Early in the day, Anne called to just let me know she was starting to feel some contractions, that I could finish up my day's work, but we'd probably be heading to the hospital later that day.

After wrapping things up that rainy afternoon, I stopped by 4 Rivers BBQ, knowing that for the next 3 days I'd eat hospital cafeteria food. Everything went as planned, things were SOOOO much less chaotic than they had been with Aidan. Anne was admitted, nurses did their thing and we went to surgery prep, (required a C-section) everything was done with a sense of peaceful expectation... so different from the chaos of labor with Aidan leading to emergency C-section. At 1:23 AM Brendan emerged.

That was a glorious day, and all this past year God has brought so much life into our home through Brendan. Brendan is full of joy, rambunctious, always getting into everything. He recently learned to walk, which makes him SUPREMELY cute as he waddles around the house, frequently trying to go as fast as he can and tripping over himself.

God has used Brendan to show me just how much He loves me. No matter what Brendan does, I am just crazy about him because he's my son, and I care for him, I'd do anything for him, and even when he messes up it doesn't make me love him any less.

Happy first birthday, Bubba... I love you so much my little man, and I'm VERY blessed, overwhelmed with joy, to be your dad. I thank God for the incredible gift that is you. I look forward to all the wonderful times ahead, I pray many things for you, especially that you would live in HIS love all the days of your life.

All Creatures

2011-01-14T07:05:00.000-08:00

For Christmas Anne and I decided to invest in a PS3, which of course is made by Sony allowing them to build in their own blu-ray player. Along with it, Anne got me several blu-ray movies and collections, including Planet Earth. We've watched nearly all of the discs over the last couple weeks, and I just have to say it is so humbling and overwhelming at times.

The intricacy with which every square inch of this world was created is astounding. One of the interesting things is just how much in the series is being filmed in rather "uncharted" territory, places where man never ventured to until the last 10-20 years. Places in the great deep, places far underground. If you've seen the series, you know just how amazing some of the sites are that they have found there: great caverns with delicate crystal murals, blind creatures in the Mariana trench seen a pressures that our greatest submarines could barely take, and endless forests in the Arctic tundra built for providing the oxygen for billions of people.

I've also been looking at the APOD app on my iPad. It contains many pictures of far distant galaxies that were unknown to man before Hubble came along. How amazing and perfect these distant worlds are.

When you consider that for 1000's of years (or more...) these things have existed without our knowledge, one must conclude that the Creator made them simply for his own pleasure, simply because he is God and must make his creation equal to his splendor. He spoke, by the Word of his mouth, they came to be.

So the only fitting response to such overwhelming beauty is doxology. We join with the song in Revelation 4: "You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being." Another translation is "For thy pleasure." Simply because they bring joy to Him. God also created you and me for his glory and pleasure. Yet, since the fall, the story has been tarnished. But Scripture promises his glory and pleasure are still the theme, they are still God's aim for all things.

A couple weeks ago we were singing "All Creatures of our God and King" in worship at Grace, and the song took on such new meaning and significance in my heart with all this background. The rest of creation worships and honors God so much better than I do sometimes. It simply does that for which it was made. The sun was made to shine, and so each morning it explodes on the scene in such astounding beauty (thanks @KellyAdkins).

My part is simply to join in, to encourage it, to worship Him as humbly as creation does: "Let all things their Creator bless, and worship Him in humbleness, Alleluia..."

Hear the Angels

2010-12-28T17:56:00.000-08:00

So I know Christmas is already fading in everyone's mind, but I've been listening to this song over the past few weeks. The musicality of it, the originality really struck me, and when that happens it often leads the listener to re-consider the lyrics. What struck me most was this verse:

And ye beneath life's crushing load,

Whose forms are bending low;

Who toil along the climbing way

With painful steps so slow:

Look now! For glad and golden hours

Come swiftly on the wing!

Oh rest beside the weary road

And hear the angels sing!

At the end of the song, Sara tags what it was the angels were singing: "Glory Hallelujah, Peace on Earth..." There is something about the tiredness, the weariness that we feel as we toil and labor and go about our days. No matter how much we may enjoy that which we do, there are times where we our in touch with that inner ache that exists simply because of being human between the Fall of man and the final return of the Savior.

The coming of the king into a dirty manger in a cave in Bethlehem was so utterly unexpected. He came to those who were able to admit and connect with that ache, those who were hungry not just for food, but for True Nourishment. His inauguration of the kingdom announced the coming of "glad and golden hours." They are STILL coming swiftly. I pray that you and I will take moments this holiday season to REST beside the weary road, just like the young dirty shepherds who guarded Him, and listen, maybe even join in with the song the angels sing.

In the Name

2010-07-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

This is from Paul Miller, A Praying Life, pg 135:

"Imagine that your prayer is a poorly dressed beggar reeking of alcohol and body odor, stumbling toward the palace of the Great King. You have become your prayer. As you shuffle toward the barred gate, the guards stiffen. Your smell has preceded you. You stammer out a message for the Great King: 'I want to see the King.' Your words are barely intelligible, but you whisper one final word, 'Jesus. I come in the name of Jesus.' At the name of Jesus, as if by magic, the palace comes alive. THe guards snap to attention, bowing low in front of you. Lights come on, and the door flies open. You are ushered into the palace and down a long hallway into the throneroom of the Great King, who comes running to you and wraps you in his arms.

"The name of Jesus gives my prayers royal access. They get through. Jesus isn't just the Savior of my soul. He's also the Savior of my prayers."

Why Brendan David?

2010-03-12T19:38:00.001-08:00

A little over 19 months ago our first son was born, and I wrote about Aidan's name here. Our second son Brendan David is now 36 hours old, and doing very well.

The name Brendan we settled on in keeping with Irish first names and felt that it fit well after Aidan. Brendan means "prince." And what is a prince but a son of the King? Brendan is first and foremost a child of God, the King.

Also since I first heard the album Beyond These Shores by Iona have had some interest in the story of St. Brendan, an Irish monk living around 500 AD. It has been hard for historians to verify the details, but legend says he sailed off from his home to uncharted waters for 7 years in search of a land of paradise. The idea of being wholly devoted to God and setting off into sea is a great picture of the kind of life God wants us to lead, the kind of life I hope and pray Brendan will lead. One of the prayers of St Brendan goes like this:

Help me to journey beyond the familiar
and into the unknown.
Give me the faith to leave old ways
and break fresh ground with You.

Christ of the mysteries, I trust You
to be stronger than each storm within me.
I will trust in the darkness and know
that my times, even now, are in Your hand.

Tune my spirit to the music of heaven,
and somehow, make my obedience count for You.

I LOVE the second half of the first paragraph! Similarly, the lyrics of the last song on the Iona album:

Beyond these shores
Into the darkness
Beyond these shores
This boat may sail
And if this is the way
Then there will be
A path across this sea

And if I sail beyond
The farthest ocean
Or lose myself in depths below
Wherever I may go
Your love surrounds me
For you have been before
Beyond these shores

Beyond these shores
Into the darkness

And now for the middle name, David. It means beloved, and the Biblical man David was known, dispite all his failures, as a man after God's heart, the greatest King of Israel in the Bible. His love for God is evident in the Psalms. We want Brendan to know that he is a "Beloved Prince."

Your mom and I are so blessed to have you, dear son, and so excited to see who you become!

Matt Chandler on how the modern church does Heb. 11

2010-02-03T18:46:00.000-08:00

A Life Worthy of God, pt 4

2010-01-27T07:33:00.000-08:00

Paul says he prays for the Colossians, that they would be people who live their lives to please God in every way, that they would “live a life worthy of the Lord.” Such a person will be bearing fruit for God, and growing in the knowledge of him (1:10).

Now Paul says those seek to live their lives this way should find themselves “being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience…”(1:11).

Those who have walked in the way of Jesus for any length of time come to understand soon that they can’t do it on their own. Without Christ, I have very little endurance or patience. Sometimes even with Christ I don’t have those things. But someone who lives close to Christ, whose heart is set on pleasing God (and not self), will have patience and endurance in increasing measure.

The key to having patience and endurance (or any other fruit of the spirit) is “being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might.” Think about that for a sec—you and I are people who belong to God, who are adopted as his sons and daughters because of what Christ has done for us, who have the Spirit of God dwelling inside of us. The God of glorious might, through His Holy Spirit inside of us, strengthens us with ALL power.

The Christian life is NOT easy. If you call yourself a Christian and your life is easy, something’s wrong. (For more on that, read Crazy Love by Francis Chan). BUT, by the power of God strengthening us, we can face this life and thus it will seem much easier than life without Him. Do you want to live your life in honor of Him for all He’s done for you? Do it in HIS strength, not your own.

A Life Worthy of God, pt 3

2010-01-26T04:49:00.000-08:00

God desires that our knowledge of him would lead to great things in our lives. A person who wants to please God with his life will be one who is "bearing fruit in every good work."

There is a close link here with John 15, where Jesus talks about the Vine and the Branches. There, as in Colossians 1, we see a link between knowing Christ deeply and bearing fruit for him. "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself, it must remain in the vine" (v 4).

The real kicker is verse 2: "he cuts off every branch in me that does not bear fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." I don't think this verse implies that we can lose our salvation, but it does imply that we can become useless to God, and if we are useless to God, we ought to wonder about our salvation in the first place. A fruitless Christian is like salt that has lost its saltiness (Matthew 5:13-16).

Rather, Paul and Jesus both urge us to bear fruit in every good work. This requires us to think not only of ourselves, but of others as we go about our lives. Even more, we should think about others within the context of God's kingdom, of their relationship to Jesus. It's great to spread love across the earth, to think of others, but even those who are not followers of Jesus can do that. Our desire in all our "good works" should be to point to Jesus.

If you serve or volunteer in church, all that you do for your church is about bearing fruit. At Grace, you're fruitful for God if you've helped someone take their next step toward Christ. If you invite a friend,co-worker, neighbor, and they come for the first time, they've taken a step. You've become fruitful to God.

Now it's your turn to do a little research: the concept of pruning in John 15:2 is very important and rich with meaning. Try looking it up through Google or your favorite online Bible study resource! Give us links in the comments below!

A Life Worthy of God, pt 2.

2010-01-24T06:49:00.000-08:00

Paul says a person living a life worth of God will be "growing in the knowledge of God." A person who wants to please God will HUNGER for more knowledge of Him. He or she will be eager to read and study his word, books, sermons, whether alone or with others. There are many ways people grow. How do you grow?

The Bible makes clear (James 1:22) that gaining knowledge is basically pointless unless you ACT on it. If you take a course or study about how to be financially responsible the way God would want you to, what good is it if you don't take steps with your finances based on the study?

God wants you to know Him. He does not hide Himself from us. He's revealed himself through his Word, through Jesus, and through creation. It's important to note here that knowledge is more than just knowledge about God. It's personal, relational. He desires that you would know him deeply and intimately, and that your knowledge would lead to great things in your life.

A Life Worthy of God

2010-01-21T06:38:00.000-08:00

This morning I was reading in Colossians 1, and I came across verse 10, and those following it, where I think we gain some really important truth. We all hunger for significance, and for those who belong to Christ, our goal and aim in life should be, as Paul states, "that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way." Paul outlines four things that will get us far down the path in doing exactly this:

1) Growing in the knowledge of God
2) Bearing fruit in every good work
3) Being strengthened with his power and might so we will have patience and endurance
4) Joyfully giving thanks to the Father for His incredible gift to us--that he qualified us to be a part of his kingdom of light.

Paul of course did not intend for this to be a comprehensive list for pleasing God, but it's a good start. We'll look further into these things over the next few entries.

Ready to Meet With Jesus?

2009-12-12T17:58:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow morning you and I will be gathered together with other followers of The Way. Hundreds of millions of people will be gathering to worship the Savior, Emmanuel, God with us. Are you ready? Where is your heart tonight? Where are your thoughts? Do you have any grievances and struggles with others? Are you running away from dealing with those, or from giving them to God? Are you being pulled away God and your relationship to him by the movie your watching? Have you stopped to reflect on your day, your week, and go over it with Jesus?

Truth is, I've watched at least one movie and more TV today among doing all the other things I needed to do. There's nothing wrong with that, but now I find I'm not as connected to God right now as I want to be. I am aware of my own weakness, lack of discipline, distractedness. Yet now all is quiet in our home. The TV is off, I must be early to bed to rise and begin the morning of serving early with many others who will do the same.

May we think over questions like these, and admit to God our shortcomings in the answers to them, and look to Him for the filling grace and joy, so that tomorrow we can serve with hearts full, while at the same time seeing Him, hearing from Him, and being filled more.

Come, Emmanuel. Ransom the captives.

Foolishness of God at Advent

2009-12-08T06:30:00.000-08:00

1 Corinthians 1:18-31 is an amazing passage that talks about the wisdom of God looking like absolute foolishness to mankind, except to those who love God with all their hearts. As we enter into this advent season, think about the prophets. Think about Isaiah’s suffering servant passage…this is the Messiah? A man who would be broken and bruised beyond recognition?

The whole idea of God, the Word, the Supreme Being of the universe seen and unseen, coming and taking on the form of us, to have blood coursing through his veins, to have canker sores, to be in the womb of a 13 year old girl and grow and be born as a little baby in an animal barn…when you stop and consider it, isn’t it absolutely CRAZY? It doesn’t make sense! It seems so completely ridiculous, and amazing and astounding.

I’m remembering a scene from the Fellowship of the Ring, at the council in Rivendell as the story of the ring is unfolded and the plan that Gandalf and Elrond seem to have thought of about what must be done…Boromir’s response is “This is utter folly.” The idea of pinning all the hope of the world on a four foot hobbit seems completely idiotic to a man who is used to warfare. Everyone knows it—the way to win wars and beat the enemy is to have a bigger or at least better army with superior fighting strength. Israel thought the way to beat the Roman empire was for God to send a great warrior captain to lead them into battle. But the Roman empire was the smaller story, God had bigger things to save them and us from, and needed someone even more powerful than an army. And so he promised that Emmanuel would come, God with us.

Ahhhh!!!

2009-11-09T11:36:00.000-08:00

I'm still here, still in the battle, and man is it ever a fight! There is so much that comes at us each day trying to turn us off to Jesus, to his presence, to the Holy Spirit inside of us, to the bigger story God is writing for us. I don't have time to write where I've been lately, but I encourage you to do what I'm trying to learn--to bring Jesus into every moment. I know I've failed countless times in the past few days, and I've hurt myself and others, those I love deeply, in the process. But we press on knowing that Jesus is our righteousness!

Reboot?

2009-11-04T18:51:00.000-08:00

It's been haunting me that I haven't done anything on here in a couple months. I had high hopes around my birthday of pretty much telling you about my life in my twenties. So much for that. I haven't been to the gym in at least 3 weeks either. Just like everything else, you have to fight for your blog time. You have to intentionally make time for it, otherwise it won't get done.

I think it's part of the way "the matrix" is set up, to keep us all so busy with our lives that we become like robots--eat, sleep, work, watch the kids, watch TV, play video games, etc. All the while getting more disconnected from our hearts, and yet at the end of the day there's a slight pain in the soul that says, "if I had just 30 mins to myself I could write something meaningful." Underneath the desire to write is the desire to be ALIVE. To be aware. To be alive to God and aware of Jesus in every moment.

You'll know I'm fighting for it if I keep writing...

The Twenties: Decade in Review: 21

2009-08-28T14:11:00.000-07:00

At the end of the previously mentioned summer, I turned 21. A friend named Matt, who had worked with us over the summer, met up with me at a local restaurant, where I ordered a "Red Dog" beer. I didn't know what I was doing, was clueless about beer, and hated the taste of it. But I drank the whole thing because I didn't want to look lame around my friend.

Around the same time, the college made me move into a dorm room with a freshman (I was a senior). It became a apparent almost instantly that we had nothing in common. After a couple months, he moved in with a friend so I had the room to myself. It was fun. It was a little weird being a senior living with mostly underclassmen, but I had no prior experience to compare it to, so I enjoyed it enough.

To be honest, this was a tough year for me. I was incredibly infatuated with a couple of women, struggled with adjusting to life on my own, found a few good friendships, and a few that I kept up even though I knew they weren't very good ones. Without realizing it at the time, I turned to being insanely busy to help feel a bit less lonely (which of course didn't work). Besides keeping a full schedule of 16 credit hours of classes, I:
--worked in the kitchen 8-10 hours a week, sometimes in the middle of the night
--became the worship leader for all chapels, which met 3 times a week
--acted as head of the team behind "More Than That", a student-led additional worship time meeting on Wednesday nights.

Of course, even with all that, I procrastinated with many games of ping-pong, interesting conversations, and Mariokart marathons. Through it all the loneliness and inner struggles lingered on. I had a lot of acquaintances, but only a few real friends. Unfortunately, I was blinded to their reaching out because I was so infatuated with others (let this serve as a warning to the reader to be applied in your own life).

Despite the struggles, I got a ton of good experience as a worship leader, I had a lot of laughs, and a lot of relational experience. I had always been an honor-roll/dean's list student so I graduated with about a 3.8 GPA in early May of 2001. A week after graduating, I payed $500 to UPS my library ahead of me, packed my Ford Festiva to the gills (You shoulda seen it!) and drove to Oviedo, Florida.

I had already decided in my junior year of college where I would go to seminary. I didn't know anyone when I moved to Florida, the seminary had found me a place to rent a room for $200/month. I moved in with a retiree who smoked cheap cigars in the house, and his huge black lab, and my fellow rentee, a Taiwanese RTS student. I applied to all the local retail stores for a job, and the first to call me was Publix (the one at 419 and Lockhart). I started working in the meat market, where I'd work for the next four years to put myself through Seminary.

I tried one Sunday attending an OPC church I'd heard about, but it was completely on the other side of town, and my host, Dick, mentioned his son Chuck was a pastor at nearby Willow Creek PCA. I attended in the morning and at night (like a good Reformed Dutchman...) and liked the evening crowd because most everyone was my age or a few years older. Nearly everyone was associated with the seminary in some way. I found a community where people accepted me as I was, I felt like they instantly new who I was, faults and all, but genuinely wanted me to be part of them. Thus began my journey with Willow Creek at Night and Sojourn.

The Twenties: Decade in Review: 20

2009-08-19T13:14:00.000-07:00

20. On the eve of my birthday, 1999, I was just starting my junior year of college in Grand Rapids, MI. I was living at home, just coming off of a summer of doing construction all day every day, building and repairing homes. That year was about transition, as my parents began to follow God's leaving to move again into foster care, somewhere away from Michigan. It was interesting having just the four of us at home, no foster kids.

I was torn between hanging out with the crowd at Reformed Bible College (now Kuyper) who were conservatively minded theologically, and those who were into what we called "Praise and worship music." I sort of hung out with both, tried to do my studying or hanging out with friends in the evening, and not spend so many nights at home.

Soon after the end of the school year, we had sold our house in Rockford, I moved into the on-campus apartments, and my brother graduated high school and drove to Clovis, NM, to live with my parents on a 6000-acre ranch. That summer I worked with my Uncle and my Grandpa building homes, returning in the evenings to hang with the few students left on campus over the summer. We often watched movies or played board games. I ate far too many $1 totino's pizzas. It was my first few months of life without parental authority nearby.

Aidan is One!

2009-08-08T14:12:00.000-07:00

A year ago today, God gave us our firstborn son. Aidan Michael was not our first pregnancy, but he has been worth the wait. He has brought much joy into our lives. He's helped us grow as individuals, largely in that we've had to face up to the challenges of parenthood. I must say we've been blessed with what most people would consider to be an easy baby. But still, we've learned to sacrifice our time, energy, desires, and free time, for his sake.

I've grown a lot in the past year as a man, and I attribute a fair amount of that growth to being a father. I know and trust that in the months ahead, more growth will take place as each stage of Aidan's development presents new challenges. More and more I have a desire for our family to be more structured with regard to time and time management. There are things that my parents did growing up that I want to incorporate into our family life--taking what I had, and making our own version of it.

So while I look to the next year of raising Aidan, I thank God for the past year, for the amazing and incredible gift of a son who is so cute, entertaining, and full of joy.

Happy Birthday Aidan. Daddy loves you.

5 things my teams did yesterday that you might not know actually get done

2009-08-03T18:48:00.000-07:00

1. Move about 300 chairs out of the way in classrooms to make room for Grace Fellowship classrooms.
2. Go through all the seats between services and take out all trash, put a Bible and an invite card on every seat (yes, you are supposed to take those cards WITH YOU and GIVE THEM AWAY!!)
3. Shook 300 hands and gave out 300 worship guides.
4. Set up almost 100 feet of pipe and drape, 4 trade show kiosks, 20ish tables, two plasma TV's, 20ish signs, 3 carts worth of toys, and much more...AND...took it all back down and packed it all up again.
5. Loaded a 16x7 trailer in less than 5 minutes.

In Answer to a survey from Seminary

2009-07-30T17:13:00.000-07:00

Today I filled out an online survey from Reformed Theological Seminary, where I received my Masters' degree. I kept getting emails encouraging me to do it, and kept deleting the emails, but finally gave in today, and decided to let my voice be heard. At the end, here's some comments I put:

I hope RTS and other seminaries will move toward ecumenism and training men and women to lead churches and ministries that are effective in bringing the gospel to our society. I fear many churches are like little country clubs operating much the same way they did in the last century. We're focused on keeping things going, perpetuating the status quo, because that's all we're trained for. We're so focused on right doctrine...but it doesn't necessarily lead to right practice in the lives of not only our congregants, but also our leaders.

I hope RTS and other seminaries will learn from some of the emerging "new Calvinists" like Mark Driscoll and Mark Chandler, and dare I say, be willing to reach across denominational boundaries and learn from today's leaders like Craig Groeschel, Andy Stanley, Steven Furtick, Ed Stetzer, and Francis Chan, to name a few. I hope practical theology found in the writings and conference speeches from men like these will be brought more into seminary training.

My current ministry position is "administrative director." I have had to learn nearly EVERYTHING from the ground up--how to lead teams and volunteers, how to run an office, how to do budgets, how to do bookkeeping, how to run a portable church,...

I've been so thankful God called me into the direction he did. I love the church I'm a part of, leading and growing as a follower of Jesus alongside new Christians, young Christians, and those from other denominational backgrounds. Gone are the days of pastor do-it-all. Let's move into the future bringing the best of what the Reformed faith offers and humbly offering it to the world and the church, helping the bride shine as bright as She can for her Groom, Jesus!

Don't Squander Your Freedom

2009-07-04T06:33:00.000-07:00

233 years ago today the declaration of independence was signed. A thought came to me this morning that I would like to share with you--I was reminded of a passage in Galatians 5:

"It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows. For everything we know about God's Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom" (v. 13-14, MSG).

I think this can be applied to the individual and to this country of America. Paul originally was directing it toward the newly converted Christians in Galatia. They were abusing their freedom by just doing whatever they wanted, thereby becoming slaves again to their sinful ways, their idols, their addictions. Ultimately, when you've been given freedom in Christ, who set you free from sin, it's not so that you can just keep on sinning and not worry about the consequences. You must act responsibly and beware becoming enslaved again.

We live in a great country and God has for these 233 years given us amazing blessings and incredible privileges of freedom and global influence. Our freedom as a country was won through hardship, death, and war by thousands of soldiers and their families. We've been given this freedom. Yet we are indebted to credit card companies, to banks, and to other nations because we want to just do whatever we want. We've made the mess that leads to recession by just buying whatever we want whenever we want it. Now we're not ALL to blame as citizens, because many of us try to be good citizens who are morally, judicially, and financially responsible. That's the kind of living that's worth dying for.

As Paul's words apply individually: "use your freedom to serve one another in love....Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom." If enough individuals lived by this, it would be true of us corporately, and we would continue to enjoy freedom for many long years to come.

I'm thankful that we live in freedom, thankful for the incredible blessing it is to live in the United States. Thankful to Jesus for the freedom from sin that He won for me. I did not pay for either. Thankful people live responsibly, lovingly, so as to enjoy freedom.

The Great King

2009-06-30T13:48:00.000-07:00

I was listening to Sons of Korah yet again this afternoon while doing office work, specifically their version of Psalm 95. I love this Psalm.

Verse 3 says, "For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods." Verses 4 and 5 describe the absolute magnitude of creation, that by his hand they were created and are sustained. Sometimes we forget the sheer magnitude of God. We can't fathom it. This declaration was as gutsy in that day as it is today--there are plenty of religions out there, plenty of other gods out there, plenty of other kings in the world. Here, we are declaring that we are coming to worship Yahweh, the great God, the great King. Do we have a posture in our lives, our worship, our prayer, of kneeling before our great King?

Verse 7 then makes another significant statement: we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care. We do not belong to some witless idol. Neither do we belong to ourselves. We are HIS people, we are the privileged people who belong to the great God, the King, the Mighty One. He is our Shepherd.

As verse 2 says, "Let us come before Him with thanksgiving, and extol Him with music and song."

The Earth is Filled...

2009-06-20T11:14:00.000-07:00

I've been to the Canadian Rockies, the Colorado Rockies, many beautiful spots in Michigan, Mammoth Cave, and many other amazing places in the US. I've yet to see many more things (for example, I've never been to the Grand Canyon). I love those days when you get to visit amazing places that happened by chance over billions of years because of a big bang... J/K.

We're staying in Greenville, SC, and heading to Atlanta tomorrow. Yesterday, we decided to take a day trip up to Asheville just because we heard it's a cool town nestled in the mountains, and we had no idea where to go or what to do, but we went anyway. After lunch, we visited a botanical garden which was helpful for Aidan, and then thought we'd try to find the Blue Ridge Parkway. I think it was a God-ordained thing because we found it within 5 minutes, not only the highway, but it's headquarters and a visitor center. We set off to the North on the Parkway, winding up and up, stopping now and then at awesome overlooks.

Eventually, we made our way to Mount Mitchell, parking at the summit. I was a little surprised at myself for how amazed I was. It was one of those moments that come few and far between for me, but often in the mountains, where I found myself in tears over the beauty, majesty, and wonder that I saw. I literally could not help but audibly praise God. I was reminded of the familiar song found in several places in the Bible, and often sung today in songs, "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, the earth is filled with Your glory."

The beauty of God is unsurpassed. Whatever we have created that we think is beautiful, (and it IS, because God's made us in his image to reflect his beauty), God is far more beautiful, and his creation so much more amazing. Standing there I felt COMPELED. It is a compelling beauty. It propels you toward God, toward worship. I could not have asked for a better adventure for yesterday. May we seek out these kinds of moments in our daily lives, on top of mountain summits or not.

BTW, I think it's awesome that at 10 months, Aidan's already been at the highest elevation east of the Mississippi! What awesome adventures are yet to come!

The Generous Life - Prov. 11:25

2009-06-11T06:36:00.000-07:00

This morning I was reading Proverbs 11:25:

"The liberal soul shall be made fat; he who waters will also be watered himself."

The above is basically a literal translation, while the NIV reading really obscures some of the richness of the text: "A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed."

I encourage you to study the literal words more here. In this text, generosity is not just a few dollars here and there, it is giving liberally, abundantly. We're not restricting this to just money either, but including time, talents, resources, and your heart, your love.

Such a person shall be "made fat." Huh? The expression is figurative, pointing to being rich, being satisfied, having more than your fill. But again, not necessarily rich in lots of money--you could have more than your fill of joy, contentment, blessing, favor in the eyes of God and others.

Watering and being watered--the idea behind this is LOTS of water, to be saturated, drenched.

The person who gives freely, liberally, and abundantly of their resources will himself experience so much blessing from God they they will be completely satisfied in Him. But remember, we don't give in order to receive; we give, period. God gives to us, so we give back to Him and to others. Abundantly, sacrifically, wholeheartedly. Are you holding on to things too tightly, or wanting anything more than God right now? Let it go, and trust your heavenly Father. Let Him bless you, instead of trying to bless yourself, and ultimately being dissatisfied.

5 things that get me up at 4:30am on Sundays

2009-06-10T13:42:00.000-07:00

5. Knowing Chad has probably been up for an hour already preparing for worship.

4. Knowing 10 other volunteers will be at church by 6am to help setup. And by 7:30am, about 30 people will be working to prepare for the morning.

3. The knowledge that there will be coke, coffee, donuts, and other food to keep me going. I can crash in the afternoon.

2. Knowing that God has put me in a place and position where my gifts and skill set makes things happen on Sundays. (and the same goes for every other person serving)

1. I thoroughly enjoy Sunday mornings because it's the best day of my week, it's an honor to serve every person who comes through the door, whether Christians for 40 years or people who have yet to follow Jesus.

"I don't want to be Like You."

2009-06-04T13:38:00.000-07:00

I'm reading John Burke's No Perfect People Allowed, and I'm only in chapter two but HAD to share this paragraph with you:

"It was not so much that Chris didn't like me; after all, he didn't really know me. What he didn't like was what I represented. He didn't like Christians, or should I say, the stereotype of what Christians are like. I'm afraid Chris' sentiments extend more broadly than most Christians care to realize. I've since discovered that the average person has a strong perception of what Christians are against, but little of what Christians are for. I was simply confirming his negative stereotype of a narrow, intolerant, arrogant perseon who just wanted everyone "to be like me." In our postmodern world, you can't separate the message from the messenger.
"I think Chris was really saying, 'Arguments don't convince me. Show me a faith that's attractive, and I'll consider it. Otherwise, I'm not interested, no matter how 'true' you say it is.' .Truth had gone relational" (p. 30, emphasis mine).

Just this week I've seen/read a lot of negativity about the decisions of our government. That's a whole 'nother blog entry or more, but it reinforces this idea of being known as "against abortion, against Muslims, against liberals, against rock music"...on and on I could go.

We are FOR Christ, for his kingdom, for his glory, for the world, for salvation, for loving the unloved, for the orphan and the widow, for becoming all things to all men so that by all possible means we might save some (1 Cor. 9:19-23). This verse demands further study and clarification, but it means that we must bring a gospel that is attractive by our lives, by our hearts, by our attitudes, by our love.

Your Kingdom Come

2009-05-27T06:08:00.000-07:00

Last night at the Hillsong United worship event, one of the leaders from Hillsong gave an amazing 10 minute message about the Kingdom of God. It was a great summary of the essence of Jesus' teaching about the Kingdom. I hope to hit the highlights.

The kingdom of God is his sovereign rule and reign. It exists fully in heaven. The kingdom of God came to earth when Jesus, the Son of God, took on human flesh. He went about preaching "Repent, for the Kingdom of God is here!" I HIGHLY recommend this article to you--in less than two easy pages, it summarizes what the author took two seminary classes to explain to me: The Kingdom of God.

After Jesus ascended into heaven, His Spirit came to be IN us. God the Father dwells in heaven, and Jesus is at his right hand, but the Spirit of God lives inside of us. In this way, heaven is here on earth. We are God's kingdom, his body, his church. Jesus taught us to pray "Our Father who is in heaven, may your name be hallowed ("your name" means "you" in this particular instance; "hallowed"--revered, honored, feared). "Your Kingdom Come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

Here's the thing--not only are we to pray that God's kingdom would come, but we are to make it so. We are his ambassadors (2 Cor. 5:20). Because we have his Spirit in us and he works his purposes through us, we bring heaven to earth. We are to proclaim the Kingdom of God every day by our words and our actions.

This happens when you and I lay down all that we are--everything--and give it to Him, and ask Him to be our everything. Almost every song last night spoke about surrendering ourselves, and wanting nothing more than to be what God wants us to be, and do what He wants us to do. Will we not just sing it, but live it?

Sunday Mind Dump

2009-05-24T20:40:00.000-07:00

It's late but I'm a little juiced from watching Magic/Cavs game three. Might as well start there...
--was certainly not the most fun game to watch, there were bad calls on both sides
--Dwight needs to watch his elbow and his composure
--We've GOT to take game 4, unfortunately I won't be able to watch it as I'll be at the Hillsong United concert.

--Really enjoyed the cuteness of Aidan today. He's such a great little boy, and brings so much joy into our lives!
--Thankful for Aidan's Uncle Don who watched him last night on date night

--This morning I preached at Grace Fellowship about "The Best Investment You'll Ever Make." It was great!
--Tons of people were gone--the first sunny day in a week, plus memorial day. I hope many of you will take advantage of the podcast!
--I hope that if you are a person who serves at Grace, that you were encouraged today, that you went home with a fresh perspective on why investing in other people MATTERS, it matters to God!
--Thank you to many for the prayers and encouragement--I don't preach often, but I'm really OK with that because God has called Pastor Mike to preach and lead us. When I do, I need your prayers, and I felt them today.
--I really hope you're on board in this fasting challenge--Anne and I are fasting until dinnertime tomorrow. Looking forward to whatever God might want for us out of it!

"We're in"

2009-04-29T13:27:00.000-07:00

Part of this week's work is sifting through over 1400 emails to declutter my inbox. In doing so, I came across a forward from Pastor Mike. Someone in the church wrote this during our Generous Life series. I'm continually inspired and excited when I see our people having this kind of attitude! :

"This past Sundays sermon stirred my inner being and my spirit as did my wife's and we had great conversation around these questions. what more can we do? what can we afford? what sacrifices can we make? and I wish I could do more! Like many, we are struggling to make ends meet with the way the economy is currently.

Ultimately the conclusion to those questions was what if Christ had that same attitude? He gave it all! He didn't just have one hand nailed to the cross and say I wish I could do more. With that alone hanging over our heads and weighing heavy on our hearts we will be making some menial sacrifices.

We truly believe that Grace Fellowship is and will make a huge impact in Central Florida. God is working, living and breathing within its walls, its members, leaders and it is truly a blessing to be a part of His ultimate design and purpose. Leading others to the cross and helping them take those small yet gigantic steps. So if takes a little sacrifice we're in!

Sin is Broken

2009-04-10T06:47:00.000-07:00

After you've read the account of Christ's suffering and death today, spend a moment worshipping Him.

Wisdom

2009-04-02T14:06:00.000-07:00

Read Proverbs 4:1-9. Now read Colossians 2:2-3. What do we learn about wisdom?

Two Problems with "Pastor Do it All"

2009-03-29T11:48:00.001-07:00

This is NOT mine, I got this from the book LifeKeys, pgs 78-79.

"Thinking that leaders can do it all has two problems. First, when leaders think tehy have to do everyhitng, the results are often less than satisfactory. Perhaps a vsionary ministry led by someone with the gift of apostleship falters because of inherent disorganization; someoen with the gift of administration may have helped bring order to chaos....Maybe an education class falls short of its goal because the materials weren't ready for the teacher; someone with the gift of helps could have solved the problem....

"Second, an unexamined belief that a minister can do everything means that the leader isn't allowed to discover which gifts he or she really has. think of all the gifts that ministers can be called on to use: teaching, administration, leading, shepherding, mercy, knowledge, wisdom, helps, giving, encouragement....Let's be honest: most leaders lack at least some of these! We can force them to do it all, a pathway to exhaustion and defeat by the endless needs of the congregation. Or we can let them use the gifts God has given them and step forward with our own gifts to fulfill the roles God meant for us to play."

Christianese

2009-03-21T08:11:00.000-07:00

I did a little search for this word and came across this funny dictionary. When, by God's grace, someone who has never been to church before walks through the door into your church, it really matters what message we send! We are their first encounter with Jesus. The nature of first impressions tells us we they will probably decide in the first 7 minutes whether they will come back a second time. We don't want to speak in a foreign language. Jesus needs to be accessible!

What other Christianese terms are out there?

3 questions to ask yourself

2009-03-20T18:58:00.000-07:00

I got these from a friend of mine on Monday. They can help us learn to walk with God moment by moment:

1. What would Jesus Do?

2. What does God think?

3. What is the Holy Spirit saying? What does He want me to know about Him and about myself right now?

Change or Die

2009-03-14T05:16:00.000-07:00

On Thursday, Anne and I, and 14 other people from Grace, were in Anderson, SC listening to Perry Noble. One of the things he championed, as other church leaders have, is that the church needs to change or die.

Look at the new facebook that unveiled this week. It now looks more like twitter plus many of the extras we all like. It changed. It updated. It's creators saw that what they had going wasn't as effective as it needed to be.

Three weeks ago Andy Stanley related at Catalyst One day that even in the latter half of the 20th century, many church pastors built and conducted their ministries in much the same way for 20 to 50 years without much change. I saw an example of this when I went to Grand Rapids last month. While the church I visited has seen several new pastors, and a few aesthetic makeovers, it still looks like a church from 1970. The church has not added to their number. Seminary graduates still wax eloquent in the pulpit after a few "praise songs" sung along with the organ. I am not saying this to tear this local church down, (it's full of wonderful, simple, country-folk), but to challenge the process, or lack thereof.

Back in seminary the battle cry was "Semper Reformanda" (always reforming). But do we really know what that means? We say it, but what it actually looks like differs greatly among those who utter it.

The church at large is already fading into oblivion in the United States. But there are many churches who are seizing the opportunity, this moment in history. It is a critical one. The purpose and place of the church in the world has always been critical--people are dying and spending eternity in judgment and separation from God. But in this financial economy, in this information economy, in this idealogy economy, the message of Jesus Christ as the Way, the Truth, and THE Life needs to be heard.

I realize these thoughts are incomplete and would be better put into several blog entries. I just had to get them out though, and let you fill in the blanks. Please feel free to add to the discussion.

In closing, here are a couple questions for you: Does my church want to change? By change I mean: become "relevant" (for lack of a better term), to actually put the timeless gospel message in a context and language and experience that people can understand.

Secondly, do I want my church to change? Why or why not?

Perry Noble twittered this morning, "if a church wants to see change in the community, then it must be willing to BE the change that it wants to see!"

easterateola

2009-03-10T07:47:00.001-07:00

easterateola

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The 200th Post!

2009-03-05T12:07:00.000-08:00

Yes, it has taken me a lot longer than many bloggers to reach 200 posts. I've got a long way to go to becoming a better blogger, but fellow bloggers tell me practice, practice, practice. I am humbled and grateful for your readership. I always welcome your dialogue with me, in fact I covet it, as part of my yearning for community with you.

I was reading Proverbs 3 yesterday and again today. Note the structure of verses 1-12: each set of two verses has a command and a blessing. Verses 1 and 2:

1 My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
2 for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you prosperity.

"Do not forget." "keep them."

What's the result? "long life" and "prosperity." Do you want to "live long and prosper?" Know and do what God says.

Verses 3 and 4:

3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.

4 Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.

Hold on HARD AND FAST to love and faithfulness--make these a part of your personal DNA.

What's the result? Favor with God and man.

You do vs 5-12. There's a lot to be learned here!

(Side note: Verses were invented 1500 years after the New Testament was written).

Are You Playing it Safe?

2009-03-04T10:46:00.001-08:00

If I posted this already, I don't care. You need to see it again.

It's sort of funny, but what is Jesus saying to you in this?

checking in

2009-03-01T11:33:00.000-08:00

I have unintentionally been taking a break on here. I sort of was in a fog the whole time I was in Michigan. It was a good trip and I can tell you more about it soon, maybe. Since then, the rest of the week has just been heavy on content, between the conference I attended Thursday (Catalyst One Day at Northpoint) and getting back into gear around home and church.

I've sort of had a love-hate relationship with this blog. It takes work for me, but sometimes it just really flows easy. At this moment I have the energy to explain myself but not the energy to put together a coherent, inspirational entry. Hopefully they will start to flow again this week. 'Til then...peace out...

Things I've Done This Weekend

2009-02-23T06:59:00.000-08:00

1. Participated as an usher in my brother's wedding
2. Put over 600 miles and counting on the rental car
3. Wore a tux for the first time since my wedding
4. Rode in a stretch suburban
5. Shoveled snow (we've had about 9 inches since I've been here)
6. Had a little jam session with my cousin Anneke who plays guitar
7. Reconnected with lots of family members, especially those I'm staying with
8. Didn't go to church (or get up at 5am) on Sunday morning.
9. Hung out at a family gathering
10. Eaten some REALLY GOOD glutton free apple pie.

On tap for today: Lunch with Mom and Dad, Movie with Mom and Dad, drop my cousin at the (teeny tiny) airport, maybe a stop by my alma mater, and dinner with some old family friends.

Committees

2009-02-20T05:56:00.000-08:00

"Committees are an invention of man in the 20th century that should never have crept into the church."

Agree? Disagree?

Seeing Your Father

2009-02-16T05:51:00.000-08:00

I play a game with my 6 month old Aidan where I sit on the floor and do half-summer-saults while holding him in my hands or on my lap. He loves it and gives me this big smile as I say, "Wheee!!" I always have him facing me, but a couple days ago I did it once where he was facing out and could not see my face as I rocked him way back and then forward.

Anne was watching and noticed that when he was facing away, he almost started crying--you know, when the eyes get big and then the lower lip comes out and starts to quiver. I turned him around facing me and did it again, and the big smile returned.

I was always holding on to him, but he couldn't see me. When God starts giving us tumultuous times, whether they be big or small, I think having faith like a child involves seeing Him and trusting him in our circumstance. When we're not in control, knowing that He's got us, fixing our eyes on Him, may help us to move closer to the kind of faith that can say when life is a bit crazy, "Wheee!!!"

Chew on This

2009-02-16T05:45:00.000-08:00

Thoughts from this morning's CLC group:

--"You can't fake being faithful." Agree? Disagree?
--"In order to be holy (1 Peter 1:13-16), we must seek out fresh encounters with Christ."
--"when you fall, what is your soft place to land?"
--I found myself also noting the correlation as we studied 1 Peter 5:5-7, then directly afterward studied 1 Cor. 9:6-10. Do you see a correlation there?

Giggles, Gurgles, and Grub!

2009-02-15T12:26:00.001-08:00

Giggles, Gurgles, and Grub! from Jason Vermeulen on Vimeo.

"They" to "we"

2009-02-10T06:09:00.000-08:00

Acts 16:9-10 is the first of three texts in Acts where the writer/narrator goes from speaking in 3rd person plural to 2nd person plural--"they" to "we." The physician Luke was an educated man and someone whom Paul considered to be one of his closer co-laborers in the work of the ministry.

This transition makes one simple point--at some point, we must get in on the "we" part of serving Jesus. We can't just notice and take in all the things that other people are doing for Jesus and not participate ourselves. The timing of this in a believer's life looks different for each person, but let me assure you, its not years and years after becoming one.

Luke became a "companion." When you decide to invest in the lives of other people, to sacrifice your time and efforts, to take up your cross (as Jesus referred to it), you become more connected with the community of people around you who are doing the same. You develop friendships and bonds around following Jesus hard and seeking to build his church. Together, you move forward and see lives changed, people healed, relationships restored, sins forgiven. It's worth every bit of the sacrifice.

Do What It Says

2009-02-09T14:00:00.000-08:00

On what standard or basis do we live our lives as Christians day to day? The answer that anyone who has been doing church for a while is "The Bible." Of course, that is the right answer, but do we sometimes just have the right answer but not live it out? How many people in churches today read the Bible on a regular basis, and look to God in His Word for sustenance, wisdom, truth, and practical instruction? I know some of you readers do exactly that. Sadly, some Christians haven't opened a Bible except on Sunday mornings in a long time.

I confess, daily devotions have always been a struggle for me. It was always about "doing devotions" and feeling tremendously guilty when I failed to do them. I disappointed God by neglecting Him and his Word. But guilt in this circumstance needs to lead to desire, a desire for God and his Word. A desire to live the life that he has for me. Lately that desire has rekindled. It started when I read Luke over Christmas break. I started into Acts and I'm only halfway through. But the more I dig in and read and study, I'm finding my relationship with God growing.

Do you feel disconnected from God? Do you need an answer? Do you feel something missing in your life? Try reading his Word. Then try doing what it says.

Cinemology, Part Eight

2009-02-06T05:12:00.000-08:00

I watched Evan Almighty last night, and while most of you probably have seen it, here's are just a couple of the ideas that hit me:

1. Evan says, "With great power comes great responsibility….Please help me change the world." He's an honest man who's spent his life in the game of politics and building his neat little suburban life with the rich and famous. In a moment of clarity as he realizes this next step in his life, he prays this prayer. As Christians, we have the greatest power in the world, we have Holy Spirit. How often do we pray a prayer as big as "help me change the world"?

2. Do we ask God to do things and then completely ignore His answers, or even get mad about His answers to our prayers?

3. One of the themes of Genesis 6-8 that is depicted well here is the culture of unbelief and selfishness present in Noah's day. Nearly everyone was living their lives without regard for God. They were seeking their own comfortable lives, believing that they were in control of their destiny. God had a little lesson for them about faith.

4. In the movie (unlike Genesis 6-8), at the last minute, when everyone realizes the impending doom, Evan encourages them all on the boat. Even before the flood comes, he pleads with them to get on the ark, but they refuse. 1) We are called to plead with people to avoid the impending doom 2) Some will realize and turn their lives over right away, others will not do it until it's staring them right in the face 3) some will never see their doom until it is too late.

5. A GREAT lesson on how God answers prayer:

My 25 Things

2009-02-04T06:07:00.000-08:00

Some people in my life think these are super lame. I think it's a fun way to get to know others, sort of like ice-breaker games. Here goes:

1. I have a slight hearing loss. Along with being born with CLP (warning: slightly graphic photo), I had over 10 sets of tubes put in my ears growing up.

2. Hence, I constantly say, "What?" or "say again?" Because I usually don't hear the first couple words unless you really get my attention. Please humor me.

3. I had never been to the Amway Arena in the 7 and a half years I've lived here---until Monday night. We left when the Magic were down by 20 with 5 mins left in the game.

4. I have around 60 long lost foster brothers out there somewhere. I've tried looking up a few on Facebook, never really found them. If I did, not sure I would friend any of them.

5. I once made the front page of section C in the newspaper.

6. I've spent 4 hrs in Europe--a layover in Amsterdam--we went to the Corrie Ten-Boom home.
Correction: See #9.

7. The remaining leg of the trip was to Tel Aviv for a week long tour of Israel.

8. This was the first time I had ever flown.

9. The plane out of Schipol airport had an engine fire so we landed back in and spent the night. Flew out the next morning on a 747.

10. I grew up camping and trout fishing in Michigan and I really miss it.

11. I've moved more times than I can count--around 15.

12. I didn't have a "real job" until I moved to Florida. Before that, I worked with family doing auto detailing and repair, building homes and home repair, and then worked at Reformed Bible College (now Kuyper) in the kitchen.

13. My first job after that was in the meat department at Publix. I put myself through a good part of Seminary this way.

14. I was not going to do this for fear of being labeled a narcissist, but if I am, then so are many of my friends on Facebook. What if we're not narcissists, we just want to be known?

15. I am almost always behind the times on stuff, including music. I love jam band stuff and many of my friends don't.

16. I just realized most of the people who fill these out are women. hmmmmmm...

17. I have quite cheap taste on food. I love Totino's pizzas, much to the annoyance of my wife.

18. I don't consider myself to be creative.

19. I can be self-deprecating at times.

20. I tend to drive "with purpose." I don't follow the rest of the sheep in the lane going 10 mph if there's a perfectly good lane going 30mph. If I-4 is a mess, I will take all sorts of back roads to get home. It's crazy. I'll have to map it out for you some time.

View Larger Map

21. I've never taken a guitar lesson in my life, but I've been playing about 12 years. Most people think I'm good, I think I'm average (see #19). I do miss having a djembe.

22. My first concert of the "non-Christian" sort was Dave Matthews Band at the Gorge in Seattle, WA. I was 23 y.o. Flew from Orlando to there and spent the weekend hanging out with Clint. One of the best trips of my life.

23. My wife was the first girl I ever kissed.

24. Our son Aidan's birth was the craziest, most chaotic, and most glorious moment of my life. Second to our wedding.

25. I'm a helpless sinner saved by the grace of God through Jesus Christ.

BONUS: 26. I LOVE my job at Grace and am so excited I get to be part of seeing people build relationship with Jesus.

P.S. : If you want a few more, scroll down here.

The Lord's hand was with Them

2009-02-03T07:00:00.001-08:00

Reading this morning included Acts 11, an important chapter from a church history perspective. It is here that the church of Antioch was established, which became home base for the early church, the place from which many mission efforts flowed.

A repeated theme in Acts can be found in 11:20-21 and verse 24. "....telling them the good news about the Lord Jesus. The Lord's hand was with them, and a great number of people believed and turned to the Lord." "He was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith, and a great number of people were brought to the Lord."

Three immediate observations:
1. The Lord's hand, the presence and working of Holy Spirit is essential in people coming to know Jesus.
2. God uses men like Barnabas, Peter, Paul, Stephen--people who are not perfect, but who love Jesus with all their heart and strive to see lives changed--to bring people into his family.
3. While there are other factors involved, the combination of 1 and 2 lead not once but twice, and all over Acts, to "great numbers" of people coming to the Lord. So many that Paul and Barnabas stayed for a year to preach and organize this whole movement, this community of people who found life by believing in Jesus.

Perry Noble talked once about those of us who do ministry--staff, volunteers, everyone--being in charge of the natural, and God being in charge of the supernatural. My questions: 1. What are the other factors that might have contributed to such a "Great number?" 2. How do the "other factors" in our time support and complement the activity of Holy Spirit in us?

5 things I was doing 10 Years Ago

2009-01-30T05:35:00.000-08:00

When Kelly ended this post with the question, "You?" I took it as license to copy her idea:

1. Living at home in Rockford, MI to save money on room and board in college.
2. Trying to figure out which crowd to hang out with at said conservative Bible college: the TR's, the group that when to Mars Hill when Rob Bell was still up and coming, the international students and their friends, or group that went to my old church (I had started attending an OPC church with my parents).
3. Not really fitting in with any of them but still desperately trying.
4. Doing home construction on the side when I didn't have to study, in the dead of winter in Michigan.
5. Had been playing the bongo's for a while and had just started picking up my dad's guitar and learning how to play.

Safely Through Another Week??

2009-01-28T10:21:00.000-08:00

Kelly and I, as well as Chad, talk often about the old songs we grew up with in church, because we're MK's and PK's. For the most part, I grew up in a megachurch, but it was the Christian Reformed brand of megachurch, which couldn't be quite as progressive as many other megachurches were being in the 90's. So while we did the Marantha praise songs, as they were called, we also still sang a lot of hymns. One that we did not sing but I still remember being automatically turned off by the title and hoping to never ever sing, was "Safely Through Another Week." Here are the lyrics: (I dare you to go here and listen to it!)

Safely through another week God has brought us on our way;
Let us now a blessing seek, on th’approaching Sabbath day;
Day of all the week the best, emblem of eternal rest,
Day of all the week the best, emblem of eternal rest.

Mercies multiplied each hour through the week our praise demand;
Guarded by almighty power, fed and guided by His hand;
Though ungrateful we have been, only made returns of sin,
Though ungrateful we have been, only made returns of sin.

While we pray for pardoning grace, through the dear Redeemer’s Name,
Show Thy reconciled face, shine away our sin and shame;
From our worldly cares set free, may we rest this night with Thee,
From our worldly cares set free, may we rest this night with Thee.

Here we come Thy Name to praise, let us feel Thy presence near,
May Thy glory meet our eyes, while we in Thy house appear:
Here afford us, Lord, a taste of our everlasting feast,
Here afford us, Lord, a taste of our everlasting feast.

When the morn shall bid us rise, may we feel Thy presence near:
May Thy glory meet our eyes, when we in Thy house appear:
There afford us, Lord, a taste of our everlasting feast,
There afford us, Lord, a taste of our everlasting feast.

May Thy Gospel’s joyful sound conquer sinners, comfort saints;
May the fruits of grace abound, bring relief for all complaints;
Thus may all our Sabbaths prove till we join the church above,
Thus may all our Sabbaths prove till we join the church above!

OK, so, by FAR the worst line in the while song is the title line.

Why? Because why do I care so much about "th'approaching Sabbath day" if what I'm living for, my goal for the week, is to make it through safely? If each day is safe and easy, my simple routine where none of my feathers get rustled, then the importance of a day of rest and re-connection decreases.

The attitude of the rest of the song is more fitting to the person who struggles with personal issues, toils to make ends meet, wrestles with his cross, suffers pain for the glory of God. For that person, "a taste of our everlasting feast" every Sunday would sure take on more meaning. That person treasures the day he meets with his brothers and sisters in Christ, hears from God, meets with God, and is strengthened for more Kingdom work for the next week.

Only pray to be brought safely through the week if you're also praying to be challenged and developed into the person God wants you to be.

Pax Romana Today

2009-01-26T14:01:00.000-08:00

If you remember anything from history class in school your probably have heard of the Pax Romana. The Roman Empire was established across a great part of the world right around the time of Jesus. As part of their contribution to the world, as any trip to Spaceship Earth will tell you, they united the world like never before by building a road system. It's similar to how the United States was changed when the interstate highway system was developed. Into that world, Christ was born. And people came from far and wide, FAST. It didn't take long for him to have a following of thousands. After he left, on Pentecost, there were people from all over the world who happened to be in Jerusalem, and their lives were changed.

Today, far, far more than the Roman road system, or the interstate highway, we have the information super highway, and more and more churches are using it to spread the gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ. Since the world has gone mobile and to the web, the church should be so also. And many ARE. It is absolutely amazing how the church today is capturing the web and technology for God's purpose and His Kingdom. Later this week, I'll blog about one example. For now, let's just be thankful for the ingenuity and creativity that God has given man, and for how he's enabled the church to use the information superhighway (this term is SO late 90's) to spread His fame.

Running Mind Dump

2009-01-25T14:06:00.000-08:00

I am trying to muster up the discipline to get into a running routine. Our schedules make it somewhat challenging. I managed to put Aidan in our jogging stroller, strap him in, don my ipod with the workout playlist, and set off into the afternoon sun. Thoughts...

--I always enjoy running, I just don't like doing it early in the AM and evenings don't work well for the most part.
--I listened to a live version of "The Way it Is" by Bruce Hornsby--twice. It's absolutely, hands down, one of the best jams ever. The ending is sooooooo intense! Wish there were more Christian jam bands. The closest I've found is Waterdeep's live albums from the 90's.
--It is possible to listen to Bruce Hornsby and have a God-moment.
--I kept running beside the stroller every now and then to check on Aidan, and eventually he fell asleep. There was a powerful moment where I thought about me as Aidan's dad--working hard, exerting myself, running, not necessarily on his behalf (this is where the metaphor breaks down). I thought about God, who never slumbers or sleeps. Our heavenly Father is always working, sustaining, providing, busy, being Daddy, even when we're sleeping.
--My mind also wandered to Rob Bell's first Nooma video where he had his son strapped in and held him close to his chest, and was the strength and encouragement that helped him through the middle of the raging storm.
--It all made me want to do more running with Aidan. Today a friend at church talked about he and his wife's recent trip to Africa where they climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro. An amazing adventure. I'm so excited that I will get to take Aidan on more adventures! Even going out running with him is so fun!
--what if I rested in my sonship of Jesus the way Aidan rests in his sonship to me?

Much More Eloquently

2009-01-21T13:40:00.001-08:00

My small but still rambling post yesterday was supposed to communicate the same point as this, but John Piper does it so much more eloquently.

Quick thought on President Obama's Inauguration

2009-01-20T19:20:00.000-08:00

There's tons to be said, but it's late and my bedtime.

Obviously today was a turning point, a historical day. As if you hadn't heard that word 100 times today. It represents a triumph of sorts and we are right to feel hopeful. President Obama and his many colleagues may be instrumental in turning around some of the downturns our country has taken. But ultimately, Obama is not our hope. After watching/reading lots of footage today, many people seem to be resting their hopes on one man. While he is a great man deserving honor and respect, obedience and cooperation--and our prayers (1 Tim. 2),--he is a man. Obama's ability--any ruler's ability--to be successful in his role, depends on his relationship and obedience to Jesus Christ, the King of Kings.

Interesting times have yet to unfold before us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus. Let us seek Him together so that our land may be healed (2 Chronicles 7:14).

To Die is Gain

2009-01-19T09:48:00.000-08:00

One good thing about having gone to a Bible College is that there is a good amount of students who go on to follow the call of Jesus to give their lives away for the sake of the gospel. Many go (or return) overseas as missionaries. One such couple I knew has been ministering in Africa for a few years now and posted this over the weekend. I thought it tied in really well with yesterday's sermon at Grace.

Sons of Korah

2009-01-18T19:16:00.000-08:00

I keep telling people about these guys. There is just a lot of good music in the Land Down Under. Sons of Korah features some great musicianship, using quality instruments. They create moving and emotional settings of the Psalms. On the DVD, the narrative of 1 Samuel 12 is very moving. Here's a sample:

Desires

2009-01-15T07:06:00.000-08:00

I'm wrestling this morning with thoughts and ideas--I needed an outlet to write some of them down, so...here you go. This is sort of a public journal entry.

Much of our lives we spend wanting things that we don't have. My friend Beth once called it "Iwantitis." Such as, "I want a better car. I want a bigger house. I want to live somewhere else. I want to take these vacations. I want a PS3. I want an HDTV. I want friends. I want to be liked. I want people to call me up and invite me to ________." None of these desires are inherently sinful. They are basically part of a desire for a better life. We were born with desire. We were born with a hunger for relationship and community.

Psalm 37 says "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him..." Matthew 6:33 "Seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you." We know these passages of Scripture, but we're so encircled with our consumeristic culture. How radically different our desires are when compared to what I was reading in devotions this morning from Acts 5:

"The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name."

or 4:32: "All the believers were in one heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had."

I have a lot more prayer and settling to do around this idea. For starters,

God, redeem my desires. I feel an angst and unrest this morning about many things, but this is one of them. Maybe the unrest is from you and shouldn't go away. Maybe the tension of my desires at war should be there so that I will constantly need You. It's easy to quote these Scriptures, but hard to give up those desires that we see people all around us fulfilling. When our friends make purchases like those above, and we don't have the means, we're disappointed. We're sad because we want what we can't have. Yet You are ready and willing to give us Yourself. I am left praying Tozer's prayer 'I want to want thee.' I want those other things too. Rearrange my desires...."

(Wow. That was really hard to write that last three-word sentence.)

Let these words, the heart of David (Ps. 73:23-27), sink into my bones, and may You be my desire.

23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever."

Holy Spirit

2009-01-13T14:14:00.000-08:00

Note to self and readers: read acts 1-5 again and note all the references to the Holy Spirit. Note what happened when the Holy Spirit came or filled someone. Acts 4:31: After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.

I think I could use a bit more Holy Spirit in my life.

Clinging

2009-01-11T18:33:00.000-08:00

Today during one of the worship services I was holding our five month old Aidan while we were singing Lead Me to the Cross. I was holding him close and found myself thinking about Jesus and the little children in the gospels. I put myself into the picture as that little child. I realized that Aidan was in the posture that Jesus is talking about--he had total confidence and trust in my his daddy, that I loved him, protected him, cared for him. He was also holding onto my shirt very tightly, as babies tend to do when they grab things.

I was overwhelmed by the thought of being like him in my relationship to Jesus. Clinging to Him. I was thinking about it and singing the chorus, "Bring me to my knees, Lord I lay me down; rid me of myself, I belong to You..."

This week I felt the sense of the struggle to stay engaged with Christ, to really cleave to Him. I found myself busy and distracted, all the things that tend to come along with picking back up in the new year. Some really good and encouraging things happened too. In all of it, I found myself losing grip of Christ, losing him a little, but still far closer than I was before.

There are many prayers on my heart and mind right now, but among them all is "I need You Jesus. I need you. You are everything. Be what I need."

Where Love Comes From

2009-01-06T06:07:00.000-08:00

1 Timothy 1:5 says that love comes from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith.

Paul is onto something here. I struggle to have all three of things; in fact, it's impossible without a the Holy Spirit's help. Yet, He wants us to pursue love; he boils the commandments of the law down to love. You can't really love God and others without having a pure heart. If your conscience has been seared and damaged over the years, then you don't even realize what agape love is. And God knows whether our belief and trust in Him is "unhypocritical." Want to love better? Ask God for these things to become more evident in your life.

Back in the Saddle

2009-01-04T16:20:00.000-08:00

After a busy Christmas week with our Christmas Eve services, and then preaching last Sunday, I REALLY appreciated our pastor's call to close the offices for the week over the New Year. Most of the staff as we've talked in the last day or two has mentioned sleeping 8-10 hours each night, spending time relaxing, and just taking a breather. It's obvious that we're a bit refreshed.

It was a great week for me too, as I was one of those who slept in until 9ish, spent time relaxing with Aidan, and even played video games a little. The highlight of the week for me was reading the book of Luke, spending 2-3 hrs each day at Starbucks or Panera just soaking in the Scriptures. That, coupled with my spiritual preparation for last weekend's sermon, has left me feeling like I want to be more intentional about connecting with God, experiencing him, reading His Word, praying, etc.

Now stepping back into the office again tomorrow morning, beginning with a 6am small group, I want to keep all that intentionality and heart toward God, and have it directly impact my ministry throughout the week. I want to know God more in and through the details of my work at Grace, to know that my work is done for his glory. I think anyone doing any job or staying at home with the kids or retiring or whatever--we could all develop this sense of connecting to God and allowing Him to redeem our daily lives.

I love my job. I love the people I work with. I love seeing people's lives CHANGED, redeemed, made whole. I love seeing relationships restored, seeing people find the answer and the Truth that I read about last week. As you get back into the routine of life post-holiday, I hope you too will more quickly turn to our Heavenly Father for whatever it is that you need each day.

Where Your Treasure Is...

2009-01-03T16:30:00.001-08:00

I've always enjoyed the music of Iona, a sort of celtic progressive rock band from the UK. In the 90's they came out with this song.

Reading Luke this past week showed me that this song's words are true. The basic point is that God treasured us enough to save us by sending his treasured Son Jesus. Jesus commands our hearts. He wants us to desire and treasure Him and His kingdom more than anything. For God and us, it's true--where your treasure is, there is your heart.

Thoughts While Reading Luke, Final chapters

2009-01-02T13:58:00.000-08:00

Chapter 20
--the parable of the tenants—Wow. An interesting allegorical summary of the Old Testament. Over and over again people have rejected Your word.
--Again and again in Luke we see the “masses”, the poor, the oppressed, etc. flocking to hear Jesus, and the religious leaders aimed at killing him, but having problems doing it because all the people hang on his every word. The religious leaders missed the point. They missed the Messiah when he was standing right in front of them, because they had different expectations.

Chapter 21
--God, please increase my faith to be more like that of the widow!
--People have done lots and lots of study about how much of this chapter refers to the invasion of Jerusalem in AD 70 and how much of it refers to the 2nd coming. No matter what, I want to be among those faithful to you!
--This chapter would be quite scary without verse 28—Hang on to Jesus!

Ch 22
--The last supper was for You a looking ahead, to us it is a look back. You accomplished a thing that is so great we can’t really grasp it.
--You redirected the meal for the disciples instead of looking back to the Old Testament, you said we should all now remember YOU. Remember Your redemption of us.
--what a hard lesson for Peter. It seems only fitting that after he denied you and you looked into his eyes, he went and “wept bitterly.” It must have been utter anguish. Yet Lord, there are many of us who find it easier to deny knowing you, who would probably cave in if put under pressure. Thank you Lord, that you are for us and are merciful to us.
--How amazing that you were killed just for speaking the truth of who You are.

Chapter 23
--The angry mob gets their way.
--“Father, Forgive them…” How amazing. I’m totally in awe at your ability to forgive these people. Your point all along was that they didn’t know what they were doing. They couldn’t believe who You are. Thank you for revealing yourself, thank you for forgiveness.
--Love the criminal’s conversion. Thank you Jesus that all can be saved—this story is proof that you are able to bring us to the truth of who you are, that you are the Savior and King.
--They rested on the Sabbath—the women in this story are so awesome—so faithful to You God!

Chapter 24
--The unspeakable joy is palpable here. How glorious it must have been for these people, one by one, who loved You so much and believed in you, to begin to realize that you had come back to life. It would be absolutely uncontainable! No wonder those two felt like their “hearts were burning.”
--He opened their minds so they could understand—Yes!
--I LOVE how this book ends—with the disciples’ example of what our lives are to be—uncontainable joy because we believe in Him and have been saved, which leads us to worship and be witnesses of the truth.
--One book’s ending is another’s beginning—when you ascended, you left us with this work, this life to live, this task of building your kingdom. Lord, may you find me busy doing what the disciples were doing. Let me understand and know the presence of your Holy Spirit within me, strengthen me to walk in love for You. Thank you for Your Word. Thank you for your life and your work.

Thoughts While Reading Luke, Part Four

2009-01-01T14:07:00.001-08:00

Chapter 14
--how do I try to exalt myself and take honor rather than being humble?
--How often do I choose to go about my business instead of coming to feast at the table of the Lord?
--verse 27—God, I’ve been wrestling with this one recently. On the one hand, I think that I have taken up my cross, only by your grace working in me, because of the things I have done so far in my walk with you. But when I read this, I wonder how much I’ve really let it cost me. I guess I’m saying that it has cost me some, but not as much as others. Help me Lord to “take my next step” in following you harder. Fill me with the Holy Spirit—be my strength.
--33-35—wow. I remember Chan’s words on this. I don’t want to be considered so useful that I’m not even helpful to a pile of crap.

Chapter 15
--Lost sheep, lost coin, lost son. Love these stories!
--It matters to you, God, when people turn from sin. It means people choosing life, your will, You, over sin and death. Thank you for finding me, your lost lamb.
--Lord, please get rid of the elder brother in me. I hope that of all the places I could be that you find me humbling myself before you realizing I need you.

Chapter 16
--This chapter is a bit tough to understand without further study. I love how the parable of the rich man and Lazarus ends though—Jesus is making a point to his followers.

Chapter 17
--Confront sin, then forgive! How often to we harbor negativity towards another? How often do we fail to confront others?
--“the Kingdom of God is within you.”
--Jesus’ description of his second coming is quite scary unless you are his faithful follower. Jesus, may you find us faithful to you and ready for your coming.

Chapter 18
--“always pray and not give up.” How comparatively rarely I pray and how easily I give up! I need to practice prayer!
--29-30—Have I given it all up for you God? I feel so afraid to pray that I would seek less and less my own comfort. But your promise here makes it worth it. God I pray that I would run after you with more abandon and passion, that I would seek your kingdom harder. I pray that for those around me as well. I pray that we would see you as the prize, see the blessing of knowing You as worth all of our sacrifice.

Chapter 19
--LOVE the story of Zacchaeus—His life was changed on the spot—and look how it changed his heart and his perspective! Thank you Jesus for seeking and saving the lost.
--The story of your entering into Jerusalem and what you did when you got there—one can feel the suspense rising in the story. Let me remember that you weep over those who continually reject you, that you wish people would turn to you.

A Christmas Lesson

2008-12-31T08:29:00.000-08:00

Around 10:30pm on Christmas Eve we had just finished loading up the rental truck from Christmas Eve at the Plaza, and I got in it to take it to the office. I had a great time on Christmas Eve, but I was feeling a bit tired and worn out. For some reason, I was having a hard time feeling great joy and Christmas spirit in that moment, there late in the evening on December 24.

On the way to the office, bouncing around in the cab of this big truck, I got a friendly text of thanks and appreciation that helped me begin to rebound. It helped me begin to see beyond myself and realize what a great success the Christmas Eve services had been. I dropped off the truck at the office and got in my vehicle to come home, and on the way found myself turning up the volume on this song:

This is a song I’ve been listening to for a long time and one line has always meant a lot to me: “These hands are yours, teach them to serve as you please and I'll reach out, desperate to see all the greatness of God…” I realized late that night that I’d been praying this prayer to God, and that all the work leading up to and during Christmas Eve was God’s answer to my prayer! God has been and still is taking my hands and using them for His glory. I got exactly what I asked for.

It totally changed my perspective—I get to be used by God for the great purposes He has in the world. I found myself, indeed, desperate to see the greatness of God—to see it evident in the hearts and lives of many who have yet to come to know Jesus at Grace Fellowship.

Thoughts While Reading Luke, Part Three

2008-12-31T08:24:00.000-08:00

Chapter 10—note: from here out I plan to state notes/thoughts as prayers and talking to God, it helps me connect with Him vs. read about Him.

--God, your kingdom is a blessing to those who choose to submit to you, and a judgment on those who reject You. You are so merciful to withhold and allow those who reject you to change their mind and turn to you. You are merciful to me.
--21-24—For centuries many of those who remained faithful to you longed for the day that you would come to earth. And finally you came, and all those people had in their mind who they thought you were, so when you came, only the weak, the poor, the oppressed, the children, could accept who you were. They didn’t try to explain it away, they didn’t sit evaluating you according to their theology. They just accepted you as the Messiah. No wonder you called those people blessed. And now, since you have come, I have the blessing of seeing you, knowing you, experiencing you. Thank you Father, for having the good pleasure of revealing Your Son to me. I owe my life to You.
--I love the parable of the Good Samaritan! I love how you handled this “expert in the law” with this. It challenges me as to whether I’m like the priest/Levite—do I think too highly of myself to reach out and help others—ANY others? Not just help them, but show genuine love and mercy as much as is within my power?

Chapter 11
--I want to develop a prayer life that looks like this. I often approach you afraid to ask for things, but I think you’re saying that if my desire is first and foremost for You, then I’ll have not only you through the Holy Spirit, but also other things I might need. Help me Jesus to want your Holy Spirit active and vibrant in me more than anything.
--Verse 28—Keepin’ it real. Duh! Yet how often do I stop to hear your word? How easily I don’t obey it…
--Jesus, teach me more about spiritual blindness.
--Woes—God, I pray your Holy Spirit would help me to be humble, to love mercy and not just the letter of the law.

Chapter 12
--Am I bold for you Jesus? I confess that at times in my life and have failed to stand for You, I’ve been called a hypocrite, and I knew it. Forgive me, Lord. I pray that you would find me willing to speak about you even when it’s awkward and costly, and that when I speak, your Spirit would give me the words to speak. I feel like that happened a bit this Sunday, and I want more of it, more of you speaking through me.
--Verse 15—how subtle and yet how prevalent greed has become in our day and in my life, Lord. Help me to remember this verse and this parable!
--This passage reminds me of the Generous Life/How to Be Rich series. Thank you GOD for that teaching, I think it was a turning point for me. God, help me more and more to live in this truth. Help me to be rich toward You.
--22-34 is almost a direct copy of Matthew 6. Lots of stuff in here for me. Help me not to be so attached to things, to clothes, to restaurants, etc. I want to desire you more than these things.
--Will you find me, will you find us, ready for you Jesus?
--Verse 48—scary. God, I think I’m someone who has been entrusted with much. I don’t mean to sound prideful in that, but with all my life experience, all my schooling, etc., I think you’ve taught me a lot and according to this, you plan to hold me to it. I want to be faithful to you.

Chapter 13
--My Bible has a heading for the first few verses: “repent or perish.” Wow. Do we hear this message in our day often? It’s certainly not the only message of the Bible, but it’s an important one.
--I want to know more about the mustard seed parable. What’s the message here?
--Who is the subject of the teaching on the narrow door? Those who call themselves Christians but aren’t, or those who reject God altogether?

Thoughts While Reading Luke, Part Two

2008-12-30T16:04:00.000-08:00

Chapter 7
Vs 1-5—do a study of Jewish leaders’ relationships with Roman centurions and these verses mean a bit more.
Vs 9—will Jesus find faith in me? Am I aligning myself with those unlikely to have faith?
--Very interesting comparison in Verses 29-30: “acknowledged God’s way was right” versus “Rejected God’s purpose for themselves.”
--Verse 35—what does this mean?
--The story of 36-50, this woman, and Jesus’ lesson in it, is one of my favorite in Jesus’ life. It bears much more reflection on my part of whether I have the character and attitude of the Pharisee or of the sinful woman. Am I aware of my sin? Really aware? Do I mourn over it and fall it His feet? What else can I learn from her?

Chapter 8
--Verse 13—this is a real danger for many who call themselves Christians. Will you and I stay rooted in Him, close to Him, run to Him in the time of our testing? This verse is one proof that God does in fact put things in our life to show us our true nature. Why wouldn’t we save ourselves the trouble and turn to Him? Very hard step to take, but through the Holy Spirit, who is God with us and in us, we can turn to him and affirm a verse like Psalm 73:25-26.
--Verse 14—yikes.
--Persevere—not a word we like to hear. But it’s the only group for whom Jesus sees a good outcome of bearing fruit.
--Healing the demon-possessed man—Authority is the key word here. Jesus is LORD of ALL. But why in the world did he allow the demons into the pigs?

Ch 9
--In a world full of people who don’t understand Jesus or outright refuse to acknowledge who he is, we follow the heart of Peter, who is willing to proclaim that Jesus is the Messiah.
--I haven’t heard about the Transfiguration in a long time. How amazing that must have been for the disciples. I wonder if they got it when they heard God’s voice from heaven. I think being “Gripped with fear” is a pretty adequate response…
--This chapter ends with some tough words. I think it’s about being too consumed with this world and not all-consumed with Jesus and his kingdom. I’ve got a long way to go…

Old School Worship with Aidan--Set List

2008-12-29T17:32:00.000-08:00

Aidan likes it when I play guitar and sing to him. Here's the set list of songs I just sang to him, for a trip down memory lane to 10 years ago...

We Will Worship the Lamb of Glory
Arms of my Father
Surely Goodness and Mercy (Psalm 23)
This is Love
Like a Child
Love Jive
More Love, More Power
He is Lord
I Have Decided

Thoughts While Reading Luke, Part One

2008-12-29T14:42:00.000-08:00

Reading for today was chs. 1-6. For those who took me up on my challenge, I would love it if you were to post your thoughts while reading as well. I realize this is no small undertaking for one week, but I hope that all of us will be recharged and reacquainted with Jesus as we start 2009!

Chapter 1
—Luke spent a lot of time researching, reading, finding out the truth of Jesus life.
--The story of John the Baptist’s foretold birth contains some very important Biblical concepts. Imagine being a priest when the nation had turned from God and God had been silent for 400 years, and all of the sudden GABRIEL—one of God’s higher-ups—shows up standing next to you with these huge promises!
--God is SERIOUS about people taking him at His word—he silenced Zechariah for 9 months.
--LOVE these words: “He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, HIS KINGDOM WILL NEVER END.”
--And these: “For NOTHING is impossible with God.”
--AND Mary’s response! “I am the Lord’s servant….may it be to me as you have said.” What could God do with us if we all submitted to Him like this?
--Imagine the scene when 14 year old Mary traveled 50+ miles and visited Elizabeth—can you feel the excitement?
--timing note—Was Mary THERE when John the Baptist was born?
--Can you imagine the excitement that spread through the region like wildfire when these amazing things began happening? (64-66)

Chapter 2
--I love Luke’s detailed writing style, including as much description of time, location as he can.
--This wasn’t just a big moment for earth/makind—it was also a big moment for heaven. God was orchestrating a huge moment in history, and the angels were there to glorify Him.
--I think the shepherds knew they needed a Savior. I think they’d been hungering for God, waiting for Him to show up, for a LONG time.
--Notice how the people involved in Jesus’ birth narrative are all godly people—they followed and loved God with all their heart, at a time when most didn’t. Sort of like our times…
--vs. 36-38—I want to know more about Anna. WOW!
--Verse 40=about 12 years.

Chapter 3
--John the Baptist’s words (vs. 7-10) would not be very popular in our day. A stern nature to them—yet verse 18 calls it “Good news.”
--“the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie.” Basically, “I (a prophet appointed by God) am not worthy to do even the lowest, most thankless task that his servant would do.” John had a reverence for the person of Jesus as the Son of the Most High.

Chapter 4
--Note to self—learn more about the Holy Spirit, since many people so far in Luke have been “full of the Holy Spirit” or “led by the Holy Spirit.”
--Vs 6—Satan is so full of crap! Scripture calls him a deceiver, yet how easily we are led astray by him. I hope I can start having Scripture on my heart enough to do what Jesus did in this passage.
--Curious about Jesus’ words and ensuing action at Nazareth—seems like he was asking for it, if that could be true of the Son of God. It’s a self-fulfilled prophecy.
--Capernaum—I’ve been there. This town became sort of home base for Jesus in his ministry.

Chapter 5
--The way Jesus taught Simon Peter was very cool—for Peter, the gospel had to be caught, not taught…
--verse. 11. ‘nuff said.
--Verse 16—Ministry people (including volunteers!), pay attention to this verse! That’s a great reminder for me. How often do I withdraw to solitude and time with God? Jesus was God, and worked hard changing the lives of many, many people—and even he knew that he needed time alone with God, and lots of it.
--Are we filled with awe when we see miracles today? Do we stop and really give praise to God, or do we just go about our lives and begin thinking we had something to do with it?
--Verse 31: I’m a sinner! God, please rid me of self-righteousness.

Chapter 6
--vs. 1-11—have you gone overboard with legalism?
--It’s hard for me to focus in prayer for 5 minutes, and Jesus prayed all night long. Hmmmm….
--vs. 24-26—It’s scary how I sometimes can be like one of the people Jesus is warning about here. It’s scary to think about being more like 22-23—yet it’s there that we find blessing and reward.
--There’s a lot of content in chapter 6’s teaching. I can’t do any of this on my own, I need you Jesus, to help me live the way you describe here.
--I love verse 38—helps me to loosen my grip.

Quotes from This Morning

2008-12-28T11:24:00.000-08:00

I've been in unplanned radio silence on this blog for a while now. I contemplated back-logging some entries, but hopefully I can be more intentional in the next few days and you'll read some thoughts and maybe catch a vid or two.

This morning I preached at Grace--you can catch the sermon online! I don't normally use quotes but today there were a couple that I just had to share with you. Because I found these online, I cannot properly annotate where exactly the quotes are from, only who:

"If we don’t feel strong desires for the manifestation of the glory of God, it is not because we have drunk deeply [of Him] and are satisfied. It is because we have nibbled so long at the table of the world. Our soul is stuffed with small things, and there is no room for the great.”--John Piper

“If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desire, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”--C.S. Lewis. (I can't believe I didn't include this quote this morning!)

"Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for desires exists. …If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." - C.S. Lewis

"I want deliberately to encourage this mighty longing after God. The lack of it has brought us to our present low estate. The stiff and wooden quality about our religious lives is a result of our lack of holy desire. Complacency is a deadly foe of all spiritual growth. Acute desire must be present or there will be no manifestation of Christ to His people. He waits to be wanted. Too bad that with many of us He waits so long, so very long, in vain." --A. W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God, Chapter 1.

IF something in you resonates with these quotes, and you realize you have lost your hunger for God, maybe praying this prayer would help:

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, `Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.' Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus' name, Amen." --A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God, Chapter 1 (ending prayer)

Long Awaited Footage of Aidan!

2008-12-17T18:47:00.000-08:00

Over the past few weeks, we've been capturing snipets of Aidan's time at home. He's come a long way in the past couple months, he's become a big boy! We feel like he's gone from that newborn status to being a baby. As you'll see, he loves cookie monster, and he loves the Christmas tree...

Aidan Vermeulen 3-4 months footage from Jason Vermeulen on Vimeo.

Fun with Helium

2008-12-17T16:50:00.000-08:00

Volunteer Fun during Tear Down from Jason Vermeulen on Vimeo.

Question

2008-12-16T11:43:00.000-08:00

What brings about life change in a person? I'm not speaking specifically about conversion, but about change in general.

GO.

Gossip

2008-12-15T11:47:00.000-08:00

Why do we love gossip so much? I'll be the first to admit I want to know the skinny on things, what's going on with people, etc. One theory is that it's a passive form of pride--I'll feel better about myself knowing I'm not like that person. Hmmm...sounds a little like something from the Gospels...

Maybe the golden rule applies here, along with the principle of the plankeye (Matthew 7). If I don't want people talking behind my back about me and my failures, then I probably shouldn't do that to others. This includes family. For this to work, I need to admit that I have failings and shortcomings--work on my own junk before I start pointing fingers. This is a posture of humility.

If you're disappointed with the sins and failures of another, try this:

1. Pray for them. A lot. All the time. Lift them up to God and his will in their lives.

2. Encourage them by standing with them, letting them know that you are FOR them, you love them. Say this often.

3. Speak and act with GRACE and TRUTH. Grace is not tolerance of sin, and Truth is not judgment and condemnation. Before you speak, pray for wisdom in your words, and think about what you will say.

4. Share your struggles and disappointment with others wisely, sparingly, and hopefully. If the person's offenses are directly against you, that's a different situation, and you need people around you to hold you up and pray for you--you are right to share your sorrows with others. But if you are just bringing others into the know about a situation that doesn't impact them directly, ask yourself whether it benefits any party involved for you to share this news. Only share what is necessary with those who need to hear it.

The Aidan Report

2008-12-12T10:02:00.000-08:00

Short story: Aidan has "Benign extra-axial fluid of infancy." It is harmless and simply requires followup visits to track the circumference of the head and make sure that it doesn't spike up in comparison with the rest of the body. If they REALLY play it safe, they would do another CT scan in 6 months or so, but as long as no symptoms become apparent, they won't need to do that.

Longer version in timeline format:

Monday morning: Anne takes Aidan to our pediatrician for his 4 month checkup, who sees that since his two month checkup, Aidan's head has grown from the 50th percentile to around the 90th percentile for largeness in comparison with the rest of his body. She then proceeds to say that she needs to talk to a pediatric neurologist about the possibility of hydrocephalus. This is of course a bit scary and upsetting.

Monday afternoon: I talk with our pediatrician who reiterates this to me and says her office is trying to schedule a CT scan as soon as possible, and that I need to make an appointment with the pediatric neurosurgeon, so I do.

Monday night-tuesday afternoon: We sit wondering about the possibilities for Aidan's diagnosis, but feel doubtful that there is a neurological problem based on the lack of actual symptoms and the fact that when they were infants, several of Anne's family had rather large heads for their age. Nevertheless, there is still a sense of worry. I also don't know much about CT scans so I'm a little worried about a fussy baby having a hard time with a noisy machine that takes 15 minutes to do its thing.

Tuesday 5:15pm: I arrive at the Arnold Palmer business office so they can do a bunch of paperwork before the CT scan.

Tuesday 5:30: Done with Paperwork, sit in radiology waiting room.

Tuesday 6:00: Still waiting.

Tuesday 6:30pm: Still waiting.

Tuesday 6:45pm: Finally go back, put Aidan on the table, wrap him and strap him in, with his pacifier, and I don the radiation vest and hold his chin steady. The scan lasts no more than 2 minutes, is rather quiet, and Aidan only fusses and tries to move a little. He stares at me the whole time. At the end, the tech tells me we'll know the results in the morning.

Wednesday 9AM: Still no word.

Wednesday 11am: I call the pediatrician, who explains something about the Aidan's history being mis-read, which puts the wrong twist on the radiologist's interpretation of the data, which means that the test must be read again by another radiologist, or the same one, who doesn't come in until the evening. So we will hear in the afternoon or the morning.

Thursday 9 am: Still no word.

Thursday 11am: I call the pediatrician, who has been trying to get them to send the report, but the doctor has not signed off on it so they won't disclose it.

Thursday 1pm: A person who will remain anonymous accesses the computer to find the report from the scan. Apparently, someone had written that the history was "microcephaly" (small head) instead of "macrocephaly," thus requring the re-read. Under all this is statements leading to "Findings likely represent benign subarachnoid collections of infancy. Followup is recommended to ensure resolution."

I find out more information online:

Benign extra-axial fluid of infancy

"At birth and for the first few months, the child's head circumference will be normal, but will suddenly start to grow rapidly over a short period of time. Since abnormal head growth is an indicator that hydrocephalus may be present, the child should be referred to a pediatric neurosurgeon for further evaluation. A CT series of the head will be ordered to check the size of the ventricles and for the presence of cysts or tumors.
When CT images return, the neurosurgeon will see that the size of the ventricles are normal or slightly enlarged, and there is no indication of an intracranial mass. What they will notice, however, is an abnormal accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid in the subarachnoid space (the area between the skull and the hemispheres of the brain). This is known technically as benign extra-axial fluid of infancy, and can also be called a benign subdural hygroma, or external hydrocephalus.
In cases of benign extra-axial fluid of infancy, the subarachnoid accumulation is normally reabsorbed by the time the child reaches 18 to 24 months of age. Once the benign extra-axial fluid has been detected, your child's neurosurgeon will require follow-up scans to ensure the fluid accumulation is being reabsorbed by the brain."

Thursday 3:10pm: I arrive with Aidan at the pediatric neurologist for a 3:15 appointment for them to interpret the data, and tell me what's going on (I'm not supposed to know already).

Thursday 3:20: Done with the intake paperwork, I sit with Aidan.

Thursday 3:45: Still sitting in the waiting room, Aidan's getting a bit fussy.

Thursday 4pm: Finally a tech takes me to a room, does the initial info-gathering, and says "the Doctor and P.A. will be right in."

Thursday 4:10pm: I decide while waiting to feed Aidan. Formula powder goes all over the place while I'm trying to make his bottle, meanwhile he's grunting and fussing. He takes 3 oz and then refuses to take any more. (he's been doing this a lot lately, but worse in public, unfamiliar settings.)

Thursday 4:30pm: The PA comes in and goes through the whole above diagnosis with me after checking a few things. She says she'll be back with the doctor to show me the scan.

Thursday 4:45pm: The doctor comes in to repeat again the whole diagnosis and says he wants to just follow up to measure the head circumference in Feb (why can't the pediatrician do this?)

Thursday 4:55pm: the girl at the front desk tells me to call in January to set up a follow up appointment (in my mind: "like hell I will") as I'm on the way out.

Thursday 5:00-5:40--I fight rush hour traffic to get home and Aidan screams the last 10 minutes of it because he's hungry.

I told you it would be a long story. What are your observations about the American healthcare system from this story?

Constructive Criticism

2008-12-08T05:38:00.000-08:00

We all have people in our lives whose habits or attitudes annoy us. There are things we pick up on in other people that bug us to death, and at times we just want to lash out and get off our chest why we don't want to be around the other person. Unfortunately, we often do it behind the person's back because it would be awkward and we can't find the words to speak honestly into their lives (and maybe we haven't built up enough street cred with them).

There are people in my life right now that I'm tempted to criticize. I can always find faults in other people, and I think we can all relate. Here's four points on this:

1. Matthew 7:1-5. This doesn't even need explanation.
2. Have you prayed for the other person? I'm not talking about praying that the other person would realize how sinful and screwed up they are, I'm talking about praying for God to pour himself into that person--that as He comes in conviction of sin (if there is a specific sin that is bugging you), that His love and blessing would be known to that person as well.
3. There is a right way and a wrong way to speak into someone's life. Constructive criticism is for the other person’s benefit, not so you can get it off your chest. A person has to know that you are 100% for them, care, truly love, before they will hear you. Even the best criticism can hurt, but proverbs 27:6 says “wounds from a friend can be trusted.”
4. Notice what immediately follows Matthew 7:1-5--Verse 6. Is the person in the right frame of mind to hear what you have to say? Is this is a person with enough wisdom to hear, understand, and act, or will your words go in one ear and out the other--or even worse, be twisted and used against you?

Be wise. Be slow to speak, quick to listen.

Street Cred

2008-12-04T13:58:00.000-08:00

Street cred is the amount to which you have a right to speak into someone's life. You have people who have a ton of street cred with you, and others don't have as much. There may be a correlation between a person's integrity and the amount of street cred he has with people. There is a correlation between a person's street cred and their closeness to Christ.

Who do you allow to speak into your life? Do you allow people to challenge you? Or do you just get people that agree with you all the time? With whom do you have street cred--does anyone look to you to speak truth and wisdom into their life?

Thanksgiving Project Video

2008-12-02T18:17:00.000-08:00

I finally found my flip cam and had a chance to do a quick edit of some of the footage from Grace's thanksgiving food drive project. Enjoy!

Grace Thanksgiving Food Drive 2008 from Jason Vermeulen on Vimeo.

Evolution of a Sneeze

2008-12-01T07:14:00.000-08:00

generous LIFE

2008-11-30T17:34:00.000-08:00

Generosity is on everyone's mind these days. It's all over the place--blogs, twitter, newspapers, and TV ads. And it's really cool that people are actually answering the call. The Bible talked a TON about being generous with our resources. Just look at the metaphor of the sheep and the goats in the book of Matthew. Take notice of how Jesus refers to Himself as "the King" here in this passage. The King is the brother to the hungry, the sick, the imprisoned. And in whatever way we help them, we're helping the King.

But here's the thing--you don't have to be a Christian to be generous. Plenty of people who follow other religions, or those who profess no religion at all, are givers. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul says, "If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing." Giving away your resources is pointless unless you love God and love others. If you give because you recognize that your possessions are not your own anyway, and you know you've been blessed by God, then your generosity becomes something that lays up a treasure for you in heaven. But it's not about laying up treasure. If you're giving for that purpose of getting a treasure, do you really love others?

Sometimes I wonder if this whole generosity is just a fad that's become popular these days. At Grace, with the Generous Life Campaign, we're not trying to start or participate in a fad. We're trying to work together to become people who are characterized by a generous LIFE. A life that is lived as a response to our generous God. One that continues regularly in not just tithing, but giving.

Just like many other habits in life, it's a daily decision. It goes against our grain. So each day we have to renew our commitment to loosen our grip on our stuff. You know that feeling you get when you look at your bank account, or you turn on the news and Charlie Gibson starts out, "More bad news on wall street today..." That feeling is fear. God wants to replace your fear with FAITH. And he wants to do it for the rest of your life.

I'm Thankful For...

2008-11-27T11:22:00.000-08:00

Long naps...

...and big smiles.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I'm grateful for many, many things today. Thank you God for your incredible gifts!

Rescue, Part Deux, A.K.A. Cinemology, Part seven.

2008-11-26T10:16:00.000-08:00

Anne and I love Pixar films. The other day I was watching Finding Nemo with Aidan. (Can't wait until he starts babbling and then saying NEEEEEEMOOOOO!!) In the movie, a father having an overly-protective moment makes his son angry, who decides to have a rebellious moment (gee, that's a blog/sermon right there). As you know, Nemo is taken by the "enemy" as an unforeseen consequence of his choices. Nemo's father, Marlin, goes on a LONG journey, filled with adventures, all for the rescue of his son.

I understand that there are a lot of lessons to be learned from Marlin's flaws as characterized in the movie, but I draw the analogy here of him as a loving father who does not think for ONE SECOND about going home and getting his things packed before his journey. He immediately is focused fully on one thing, finding his lost son and bringing him home.

Jesus will stop at NOTHING to rescue his sons and daughters. He has gone through death, hell, and resurrection for our rescue. Even now, we experience rescue through Jesus when he answers our prayers. As Psalm 40 says,

"1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

He rescued us from our sins not only for our sake, but also for his glory--with the plan and purpose that MANY will see and fear (be awed, revere) Him. Are we spreading his fame? Are we living before the world like we've been rescued and set on a rock? Or do those around us see us reliving our experience of wallowing in the slimy pit?

When Nemo was rescued and returned to his home with his father, they had both learned some tremendous things about themselves. Their relationship was forever different. Nemo lived a changed life as a result of his rescue. He loved his dad more than anything because he'd been given a second chance at life.

Rescue

2008-11-24T12:18:00.000-08:00

A week ago yesterday we first introduced this song to our congregation; I've been listening to it for a while now. It's a very good song, and I want to make a couple points:

1. I believe that in my sin before I knew Jesus, I was utterly incapable within my own power even to cry out (John 6:44)--I didn't think or know that I needed to be saved. I was just fine on my own, thank you very much. When I sing "I called, you answered..." It's even more amazing to know that I only called on God because in his great mercy toward me, He DREW me, he came knocking on my door. When, by his showing me my sin and I realized my need, I cried out to him, and He answered. And he didn't stop there...

2. He came to my rescue. He suffered and died. He has given his whole life that I (and billions of others) would be saved from myself, my sin, and it's consequences. Now I'm alive to him (Galatians 2, I Cor. 5:17-21). The truth of these lines impacted me deeply as we sang this during communion last week, and I watched someone do the sign of the cross over themselves. The cross was for me. For my rescue.

3. Much of the song focuses then on the proper response to such an amazing gift from God our Father. Falling on my knees... humbled I bow down... giving all I am to seek your face... I want to be where you are. In my life, in our love, in our world...BE LIFTED HIGH!

Do you want God to be lifted high? What does that mean? Dave Paul mentioned something yesterday, that God's deal should be above my deal. That I seek him first. That I focus on being fully alive to him, living like a person who has been rescued. God has not rescued me just to have me live a lukewarm, lackadaisical faith toward Him and others. It starts with realization, brokenness, change, movement, and bold, passionate love and desire for Him.

I think I just preached a sermon to myself. 'Cause He knows I need alot of this cultivated in me. Maybe overhearing it will impact you too.

If Starbucks Marketed Like the Church

2008-11-20T08:01:00.000-08:00

Alright church. What can we learn from this video? What can you relate to?

Go Mode

2008-11-19T08:50:00.000-08:00

I have been quite busy in the last week and have just not been in the mood to blog. I've sort of been in go mode since Sunday, and go mode is not blogging time for me. When I'm in go mode, I'm task oriented, my emails are to the point, I don't stop to enjoy the little things in life, or to think and reflect. I'm about getting things DONE, or at least delegating things. I also tend to be more impatient. Good for the details, bad for relationships.

Our Little Cutie

2008-11-12T18:19:00.000-08:00

If you haven't checked out Aidan's Flickr account lately, you simply must! He's been so photogenic lately.

What's a Guy Gotta Do?

2008-11-10T03:11:00.000-08:00

...To get a decent night of sleep? Wrong answers:

1. Go on a date and stay out too late.
2. Eat lasagna 2 hours before bed
3. Take a sunday nap
4. Have a cat that refuses to sleep in one corner of the bed but must sleep exactly where my long legs go.
5. Have a big Sunday and continue processing it.
6. Have a Monday morning 6am group leading into a big day of processing and accomplishing church stuff.

Ironically, having a 3 month old has nothing to do with it...he sleeps just great.

Is God's Sovereignty Circumstantial?

2008-11-05T13:27:00.000-08:00

Several friends on social networks have made updates similar to "despite the election results, trusting in the sovereignty of God." If the election had turned out differently, would you have made that statement today? We often make that kind of statement when we are in the middle of circumstances we see as BAD. The fact is, God is in control no matter who is president. If McCain had won, we would still need to trust in the sovereignty of God. Don't put your trust in princes, but in the King of Kings.

Another Spiritual Discipline

2008-11-05T09:35:00.000-08:00

Over the past month I've been leading a small group focused on a teaching from Andy Stanley called How to Be Rich. Last week as we wrapped up, one of the people in our group began to speak of managing our money as a spiritual discipline. I like this definition of what a spiritual discipline is. When I begin to view my money in light of God and eternity (Matt. 12:13-21), I end up entering into deeper focus on my relationship with God. I end up asking him to help me make wise choices instead of being the fool Jesus spoke about. Andy points out in sermon four that the man Jesus was speaking to was a fool because he made financial decisions based on this life alone.

Today when we speak of spiritual disciplines, we don't like the term because we view it as restricting, or we associate it with the idea of punishment. But one girl in our group spoke about it as "tempering your spirit." This phrase it seems is associated with modern new age writings, but I think it has applications for the Christian. It's the idea of tempering as "learning to control" yourself. Learn self-control. Instead of maxing out your capacity and reducing your margin to zero, be wise and purposeful. Instead of being vigilant and on-guard and always doing and spending, try resting, being content. Measure and ration things out, instead of grabbing as much as you can as often as you can. You'll find you have time for relationship, and serving, and giving and loving.

Read This Before You Vote

2008-11-03T12:57:00.000-08:00

We've got to keep this perspective! It's been a little hard to see how many Christian leaders have endorsed candidates from the pulpit. Came across this blog and LOVED this quote:

Something might be wrong in the Church when we...

- are more passionate about a political party, than about the Church

- boldly tell our neighbors about our candidate, but don't tell them about our Savior

- joyfully give money to a political campaign, but don't tithe or give to missions

- pray for our candidate's victory, but not for our neighbor's salvation

- transfer our trust from God's word to a political system.

Yea, something is wrong when we put our hope in the messianic promises of candidates. It's called idolatry, and folly.

There's been a lot of passion and excitement during this campaign season. I would love to see that kind of passion about the Kingdom of God - about things that are more eternal than temporary.

Anyone Who Says he Doesn't Need Friends..

2008-11-03T08:09:00.001-08:00

...is in denial. I'm very pumped about my Monday morning group jumping into a module called "Standing with a Friend." Today's first week discussion was an eye-opening look into the masculine psyche when it comes to male friendships. Lots of men relate to the old Simon and Garfunkel song "I Am a Rock." Me, most men (and women) would consider to be a "sensitive" person. I don't care who you are, you have a heart, and no person can deal for a long time with no relationships. Just look at all the songs out there about friendships and having "someone to lean on."

A good friend (ha) in the group proposed these questions that absolutely floored me, they're very worth considering. Note, for women this tends to come easier on the whole, so I'm asking men to consider only relationships with other men in the following. Aside from my wife being my best friend, I need to examine these questions in terms of my friendships with other men:

1. Who would you call if things in your life really went south?

2. Who would call you in those same kind of circumstances?

3. Who are your three closest friends (Jesus had Peter, James, and John)? Do you completely trust them and share your whole self with them, or do you hold back?

4. Who would you put in your circle of twelve-ish, people you consider to be good friends, you enjoy, and are willing to share most aspects of your life with?

The rest are the relationships that you hold onto more loosely, some you are friendly with, while others are acquaintances.

For me, people come and go within these circles (Inner three, 12, and acquaintances). This morning I found myself mourning a little over some of those who have moved out of my life somewhat and further out in the circles. It takes intentionality to find people to replace those who've moved out. And it takes trust. And forgiveness. And...

God at Work

2008-10-30T08:42:00.001-07:00

See below post from Sunday, Oct. 19.

Update: I can't give you numbers, but God is already doing some amazing stuff. The stories we've heard, the people who have made commitments and just mailed them in early, are already just getting me so excited. I'm blown away already. This Sunday we obviously aren't going to be giving numbers, but it is going to be a great time of wrapping up this series, handing in our pledge cards, and celebrating our commitment together to the future of Grace Fellowship. Make plans to be there, peeps. Cancel or postpone your Sunday plans if they don't include church. God wants you to worship HIM first.

Blogging takes so much Energy

2008-10-26T10:21:00.000-07:00

I think it's because I have so much swimming around in my head these days, and messing me up, that if I start writing about it, It'll be so long that no one will read it. Here's why: currently watching How to Be Rich by Andy Stanley and reading Crazy Love by Chan, the chapters about how salt that loses it's saltiness (matt 6) is not even worth putting on a manure pile, and how Jesus wants to vomit when he sees lukewarm Christians. This is why I didn't get much sleep last night.

A Question for You

2008-10-22T12:48:00.000-07:00

Got this idea from another blogger and turned out some incredible results in comments:

When's the last time you did something dangerous?

Piper on Job

2008-10-21T08:34:00.000-07:00

It seems this week already that I'm hearing a few stories of people struggling, mostly with their finances and provision in our tough economic times, but also with health. Check out just a tiny bit of what John Piper has said about the book of Job and suffering.