Robbed.

This morning I had intentions of, before going to the office, stopping at a local park where I often have good times with God. So as I approached the left turn I needed to get onto the main street through which I access the road that leads to the park, I found that main road blocked off totally by construction. I turned around and headed down the next street that was open, hoping that I could just end up back on the street I really wanted a block down the road. Didn't happen.

No, I found myself weaving my way all around, up and down bumpy, holy, brick roads in Winter Park, through traffic that was also trying to figure out its way to avoid the street that was being worked on. By the time I finally got to the street I needed to access the park where I wanted to have my quiet time, I was so frustrated and bummed! I also would have only had about 15 minutes, but I knew that my heart was not in a great place, so I just said "Screw it," I went to the office and attempted a quiet time there.

At the office I found that my mind wandered, my Scripture reading didn't bring any real amazing truth that jumped out at me. Since this morning, I've had a couple of very brief moments in conversation or listening to a song that I've felt the impact of a truth and realized God is still here, but I don't feel centered and surrendered like I want to be. Like Mike said Sunday, it's not always going to be this magical, amazing time, right off the bat. You have to train yourself for godliness and discipline, and as you move further up and further in (see Lewis' The Last Battle), you'll find Him to be more and more real, and you find your real self more and more. I hope that my quiet times won't be robbed from me all the time, that I'll learn to surrender whatever attitude I have and get quiet before Him. And hopefully the freakin' park will be accessible too!