Monday, October 29, 2007

I Can't Fathom

This morning between an early morning men's group and staff meeting, I was listening to a sermon by Francis Chan where he described a video that zoomed out from earth to the universe. From this, I found myself watching youtube videos on the immensity of the universe, and I googled the Hubble Ultra Deep Field. Crazy. Just crazy. It blows my mind. Each point of light, even the most minute points of light on here, are not stars, but GALAXIES. The ones that are close up, as you see, are each beautiful, and yet each point of light represents a span of millons of light years, each span containing billions of stars.

The Psalmist didn't have any telescopes; the stars that he saw are the same stars we see with our eyes at night. Even in complete darkness away from any light pollution, we're seeing .000000000000000000001 of what's actually there. This was his response:

O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
above the heavens.

From the lips of children and infants
you have ordained praise [b]
because of your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger.

When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

...Yet we are God's chosen people, dearly beloved. The same God that made all this purely for his pleasure and our delight, dwells in the midst of us. Crazy.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Choir Practice. And Love.

My Mom and Grandma (Mom's mom) flew in this afternoon. I called my Grandma just to check in with her and related that I wouldn't be seeing them tonight as they're driving to their hotel and settling in and we have rehearsal. My mom lives in Amarillo where there's no traffic and she has to go from OIA to Altamonte Embassy Suites. So that'll be enough for one day for them. Anyways, later on in the conversation, my Grandma repeats back to me, "Oh that's right, I won't be seeing you until tomorrow because you have choir practice."

Boy are they in for a shocker on sunday when they come to church. I'm going to remind them to sit near the back and be ready for the music to be loud. And be ready to hear hymns like they've never been done before (We're doing O Worship the King and O For 1000 Tongues). It's such a contrast what I grew up with and what they love compared to what even I grew up with, then progressing to what we do at Grace. And if you're not a Grace attender and you're reading this, NO we don't have a choir. My wife is the choir. She sings whatever part no one else is singing.

Monday and then today I've been really contemplating love. Agape love. The kind of love in Matthew 22:37-40, which Jesus said is the greatest command. I'm really being challenged to face how deep my love is for God in daily life. I mean when I'm caught up and feeling it in worship I have huge love for God, but when I'm typing away at my desk or hanging out at the apartment, am I dialed in to my love for Him? Am I then dialed into living others equally to the way I love myself?

I watched Francis Chan's message from Passion 07 on "Loving God in a Lukewarm Church." I highly recommend it. I really do love God, but I felt convicted about the words in Revelation about the lukewarm church. Studying the Bible in my college and even some of my seminary years I always thought this meant they weren't filled with the knowledge and surrender to the Sovereign God who foreordained them from eternity. I guess I just somehow skipped over the simplicity of it. Do you really love God or are you a poser? Are you filled with amazement and awe at how he's loved you and just can't help but respond with love back? I hope that as He gives me the strength I can dial back into this love. I am feeling that momentum building in my life and I'm liking in. And I'm a little scared. It's not passion--well, it is---but, its what is expected! Thoughts are a-stirring....

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Thoughts from this Morning

This morning I preached at Grace Fellowship; I based my sermon on Acts 2:42-47. The main point was this: If we believed that Jesus has given us his all, and is continuing to give his all, and will give us his all, then we would be a community of people living out of awe.

I've had mixed feelings today as I mulled over how things went. My hope and prayer is that something connected with those at Grace today. I'm aware of my own need to experience awe at Christ; there are wonderful moments of intimacy with Him that happen when I find myself in worship, and something connects. That's the kind of stuff I hoped to communicate today, that others would experience the same. Saturday after I practiced the sermon I watched a portion of the Hillsong DVD Savior King. The combination of music and lyrics makes many of these songs very powerful. For example, "Here in My Life" has a resounding chorus:

You are my freedom
Jesus You're the reason
I'm kneeling again at your throne
Where would I be without you here in my life?

As I've reflected on this morning's thoughts, I know I could make a lot of improvements as a communicator. I'm young! I'm a young preacher and I tried a knew method of sermon prep this time. I didn't try the old reformed way. My hope is that as the life of Holy Spirit is formed in me more, that it will show any time I bring the spoken word. I hope that I can be more relaxed, more real, more effective as a communicator. I realized that while many of the concepts I talked about this morning were great, the problem is just that, there were many concepts! I tried to take the audience on a journey, but I think I made a few unnecessary stops. There are probably two months worth of sermons in what I said this morning.

I think one of the things I most desired to communicate was the burden that Jesus has for his bride, which is US. Many of my friends, even my parents, have experienced betrayal, pain, and hurt at the hands of church members and church leaders. Jesus experienced insult, hurt, and betrayal by church leaders...AT THE VERY MOMENT HE WAS SUFFERING AND DYING TO PAY FOR THEIR HURTING AND INSULTING AND BETRAYING! He loves the church, has given his all for the church, and even now with all its failings and problems, Jesus is still giving his all to the church. So are we righteous in our response to turn our back on that which Jesus loves the most on this earth? I hope that those who have little time or respect for the church will not find in this a finger in their face, but a pleading, a prayer that they would be open to the process of healing, of seeking fellowship again; of joining community again, even when it's not meeting your needs, even when its messy.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Sovereign Grace in Redemptive- historico-covenantal Reformation Theology

Funny thing is, many of the above words are rich in their meaning; unfortunately, they're often used to show off...if I can impress you with words, you'll give me more respect...

If you read some of the blogs that our pastor Mike has linked to, you'll see a few churches that, like ours, are really seeking what it looks like to love the world, to be Jesus to the world. It was interesting growing up in Grand Rapids, MI, where you have all these churches and 90% were not growing. Only Rob Bell's church grew. And then everybody got mad at Rob Bell because they saw liberal theology and influences in his writings and messages. How about learning a lesson...Mars Hill was the only church ever in GR to grow so fast!

Of course, the response is along the lines of, "It grows because people love hearing liberal teaching...the same way everybody loved Robert Schuller for his positive thinking." In other words, just plug in the whole critique of the church growth movement. Bottom line is, yes, there is some questionable teaching in some large churches in America today. But many of those churches having been preaching the true gospel! In fact, they're not just preaching it, but seeking to live it out as organizations and instill Christ-living in their congregations.

Look at Elevation Church in Charlotte. They didn't take an offering this past Sunday. Instead they GAVE AWAY $40,000 to their congregation and said, "Take this money and go bless someone." While the Tenth Reformed Presbyterian Church parking lot somewhere in the U.S. sat full of Escalades and Lincolns, and their drivers were listening to lengthy quotes from John Calvin's Institutes as part of the message. I guess I have a little bit of a beef with this sort of thing, because I was around it for so long. Ever so slowly God is changing my perspective on what it means to be Jesus to the community. It's really hard for me to get out of my Christian bubble mindset. I encourage you to read Mike's blog about the book "UnChristian." Sounds like an interesting book, and hopefully a little convicting...

Friday, October 12, 2007

The Rescue

I came across this today...powerful read.

The face that Moses had begged to see-was forbidden to see-was slapped bloody (Exodus 33:19-20). The thorns that God had sent to curse the earth’s rebellion now twisted around his brow…

“On your back with you!” One raises a mallet to sink in the spike. But the soldier’s heart must continue pumping as he readies the prisoner’s wrist. Someone must sustain the soldier’s life minute by minute, for no man has this power on his own. Who supplies breath to his lungs? Who gives energy to his cells? Who holds his molecules together? Only by the Son do “all things hold together” (Colossians 1:17). The victim wills that the solider live on –he grants the warriors continued existence. The man swings.

As the man swings, the Son recalls how he and the Father first designed the medial nerve of the human forearm-the sensations it would be capable of. The design proves flawless-the nerves perform exquisitely. “Up you go!” They lift the cross. God is on display in his underwear and can scarcely breathe.

But these pains are a mere warm-up to his other and growing dread. He begins to feel a foreign sensation. Somewhere during this day an unearthly foul odor began to waft, not around his nose, but his heart. He feels dirty. Human wickedness starts to crawl upon his spotless being-the living excrement from our souls. The apple of his Father’s eye turns brown with rot.

His Father! He must face his Father like this!

From heaven the Father now rouses himself like a lion disturbed, shakes his mane, and roars against the shriveling remnant of a man hanging on a cross. Never has the Son seen the Father look at him so, never felt even the least of he hot breath. But the roar shakes the unseen world and darkens the visible sky. The Son does not recognize these eyes.

“Son of Man! Why have you behaved so? You have cheated, lusted, stolen, gossiped-murdered, envied, hated, lied. You have cursed, robbed, overspent, overeaten-fornicated, disobeyed, embezzled, and blasphemed. Oh, the duties you have shirked, the children you have abandoned! Who has ever so ignored the poor, so played the coward, so belittled my name? Have you ever held your razor tongue? What a self-righteous, pitiful drunk-you, who molest young boys, peddle killer drugs, travel in cliques, and mock your parents. Who gave you the boldness to rig elections, foments revolutions, torture animals, and worship demons? Does the list never end!! Splitting families, raping virgins, acting smugly, playing the pimp-buying politicians, practicing exhortation, filming pornography, accepting bribes. You have burned down buildings, perfected terrorist tactics, founded false religions, traded in slaves-relishing each morsel and bragging about it all. I hate, loathe these things in you! Disgust from everything about you consumes me!!! Can you not feel my wrath?”

Of course the Son is innocent. He is blamelessness itself. The Father knows this. But the divine pair have an agreement, and the unthinkable must now take place. Jesus will be treated as if personally responsible for every sin ever committed.

The father watches as his heart’s treasure, the mirror-image of himself, sinks down into raw, liquid sin. Jehovah’s stored rage against humankind from every century explodes in a single direction.

“Father! Father! Why have you forsaken me?!”
But heaven stops its ears. The Son stares up at the One who cannot, who will not, reach down or reply.

The Trinity had planned it. The Son endured it. The Spirit enabled him. The Father accepted his sacrifice for sin and was satisfied. The Rescue was accomplished.


From the book When God Weeps by Steven Estes and Joni Eareckson

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Lots of thoughts swimming....

I came to know Christ at a very young age. I can honestly say I don't think there was ever a time that I didn't know Him. But sometimes I've felt so far from Him. Like I know of Him, I know Him in my head, the truth of who Jesus is sometimes gets so repeated over and over again that at times I've lost the power of the story of Scripture.

My friend and pastor Mike (see his blog to the right, I highly recommend it) today gave a talk, not a sermon. It was a heartfelt message that God had called Him to give, like a burden, something he had to say. He had gone to the Cataylst Conference in Atlanta where God convicted him. Through hearing Mike's heart today and some of the reading and talking to my friend David tonight, I'm feeling convicted as well. I feel like in my walk with Jesus I'm just scratching the surface of who he wants me to be as a follower. God's message from Mike was about living every moment of every day for the glory of God in the world as his Kingdom, which is manifest in his church, advances.

Advancing the kingdom. We often get the picture of something like a crusader, fighting the forces of evil, preaching hell-fire and brimstone. Jesus was quite different from that. How did he advance the kingdom? He didn't lay his weapons down, he just used a different kind of offense. He didn't pick up the sword. He picked up a towel and wrapped it around his waist.

Resuming the thought from the first paragraph...Mike talked about how he was so radical when he first surrendered everything to Jesus and invited him in. My parents have told me about how I used to ask to pray before I went into surgeries (I had quite a few when I was a kid). I have times of being close to Jesus. Even in the last few years of feeling an overall slow movement in my spiritual growth. But I haven't had one of those breakthrough moments, I don't think, in a while. I've had some emotional highs and lows, but I've been somewhat in a rut, I think. I lost my focus.

I'm prideful at times. Not just at times...LOTS of times. My ego gets in the way, and it's so counter to what Jesus has called us to...deny yourself. Humble yourself before Him and let Him lift you up. Take the crappiest seat at the banquet table. Take up the basin and the towel. I feel like I've said these things, sang the song (below). It's like Mike said today....I've done a lot of really good stuff, but some of it has not been out of the heart of intense burden and passion that Jesus had(has). I'd like to think it has been. I love serving at our church. It's a tremendous privilege. I just think Jesus wants to do something in my heart. In a lot of hearts of people in our church.

Worship is my pathway to God, so a lot of songs have been swimming around in my head today. Michael Card's Basin and the Towel.




Also His "The Things we Leave Behind". I apologize for the vids, they're not life-changing. But the lyrics are awesome.


And lastly, the lyrics to an old hymn redone by Indelible Grace a few years back:
"Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken"
by Henry Francis Lyte, 1793-1847
1. Jesus, I my cross have taken,
All to leave and follow Thee;
Destitute, despised, forsaken,
Thou from hence my All shalt be.
Perish every fond ambition,
All I've sought or hoped or known;
Yet how rich is my condition!
God and heaven are still my own.

2. Let the world despise and leave me,
They have left my Savior, too.
Human hearts and looks deceive me;
Thou art not, like them, untrue.
And while Thou shalt smile upon me,
God of wisdom, love, and might,
Foes may hate and friends may shun me;
Show Thy face, and all is bright.

3. Go, then, earthly fame and treasure!
Come, disaster, scorn, and pain!
In Thy service, pain is pleasure;
With Thy favor, loss is gain.
I have called Thee Abba, Father!
I have stayed my heart on Thee.
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather,
All must work for good to me.

4. Man may trouble and distress me,
'Twill but drive me to Thy breast;
Life with trials hard may press me,
Heaven will bring me sweeter rest.
Oh, 'tis not in grief to harm me
While Thy love is left to me;
Oh, 'twere not in joy to charm me
Were that joy unmixed with Thee.

5. Take, my soul, thy full salvation;
Rise o'er sin and fear and care;
Joy to find in every station,
Something still to do or bear.
Think what Spirit dwells within thee,
What a Father's smile is thine,
What a Savior died to win thee;
Child of heaven, shouldst thou repine?

6. Haste, then, on from grace to glory,
Armed by faith and winged by prayer;
Heaven's eternal day's before thee,
God's own hand shall guide thee there.
Soon shall close the earthly mission,
Swift shall pass thy pilgrim days,
Hope soon change to glad fruition,
Faith to sight, and prayer to praise.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Passionate Worship

I have to admit I'm a little jealous of my friends who decided on Tuesday to go to Atlanta for this little conference called Catalyst. I remember being there a couple years ago and loving a lot of what we heard, but loving the music, the singing worship songs to God. It was just awesome. I remember them doing a cover of "Kyrie" by Mr. Mister, which is an awesome song. I love and long for those times of worship. So much so that I've wondered at times in my life if I'm just addicted to the high of emotion that I feel sometimes when I'm just all in, really dialed in to the moment.

At our offices we have Hillsong Music's DVD of Savior King looping in our lobby. Sometimes I'll stand and watch it. It is so inspiring because the crowd and the leaders on stage are full of reckless abandon to God. Sometimes, it's almost like pain that's on their faces as they sing. It's like they just can't hold on any longer, they MUST get out what they are singing. It's especially true of me when we play "From the Inside out."



When we play on stage at Grace, it's hard sometimes to tell if people are really engaging in worship. We get tons of comments about how we sound good, we did a nice job, etc. But rarely does someone come up and say how they met God in the music, how it moved them. This whole dynamic is a very subjective area, I mean, who am I to say that someone isn't really worshipping God? I just love watching videos like this though, and when I do take a break from playing guitar, I enjoy just receiving and giving back to God without worrying about playing the chords. I hope that I can work to get the chords down well enough that it doesn't inhibit me, and I hope our church congregation will be so excited and drawn to the heart of God that they can't help but raise their hands, clap, cry, kneel, in worship to Him who is worthy to receive all glory, honor, power, blessing, riches, and strength!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Glimpsing God-sized vision

My ministry partners Mike Adkins and David Paul took me along to a conferencetoday. It was awesome stuff about spiritual growth in the church. I’m in such a learning phase right now, at times I’m almost overwhelmed by what I need to learn and develop. But I’m also really excited as I read and watch videos and read blogs and learn. There are times each day this week, just for a few seconds, I’ll have this thought about what could be at Grace and how I could be a part of it if I was “dialed in” totally. Really sold out like the apostles. I'd like to think God would bless me to be a Greg Hawkins or John Ortberg or something...what I mean by that, is that I would play a role in something huge. I already do, Grace is already making a great impact for the Kingdom, but there is so much more ahead.

When I have these glimpses, it takes my breath away because I realize I have a long way to go but I think God can use me (he already is). It’s like what is happening now is very important foundational groundwork, but it’s only whispers of what could be. I think that's how the apostles felt. I guess even if it’s just for a few seconds each day I’m learning to dream God-sized dreams. I hope God fans the flame.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Wrapping up Marriage Small Groups

We've been having small groups in our church for the past three weeks around the topic of marriage, watching a series of sermons by Andy Stanley. The teaching is absolutely awesome; it has to be the best, simplest yet most profound teaching on marriage I've ever heard. Andy has a gift for teaching a Biblical truth and really getting across the siginificance of it.

One of the insights I had last night as we talked about desires vs. expectations was "If you expect your spouse to do something, and they fail/forget to do it, you can be angry at them. But if its something you desire and they don't do it, you can be hurt and disappointed." I think hurt is behind anger anyway. When somebody cuts me off on the road, I'm hurt that they are disrespecting me, I'm hurt by their rudeness. It is Jesus who wants to be there when we hurt. He desires that we would come running to Him, and not to anything else, for comfort and healing in our hurts.

Andy talked last night about bringing our desires to God, casting all our cares on Him. We often think of bringing our hurts to Him, but do we bring our desires to Him? Our group discussed how we pray these prayers with 15 qualifiers usually along the lines of "If it's your will...." God said "Seek me first, and I'll give you the things you desire." I think this ties in with Piper's famous idea "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." Yet I think God loves to shower us with His blessings big and small as we continually humble ourselves before him. Humbling ourselves, as Andy explains it, is seeking Him first, being willing to let God's deal be more important that my deal. "In due time, he will lift you up." "Ask and you shall receive." "He will give you the desires of your heart." Maybe I should read Piper's book Desiring God. Does anyone have insights from that book along these lines?