He is on our side

Came across this a couple months ago and forgot about it. The studio recording is on iTunes and is much better quality, but this video is worth watching. She starts singing around 1:45. Amazing song. Take 8 minutes, turn up your speakers and watch and listen. It's Bethany Dillon, "You Are On Our Side."

Finally got what I came for...

The first week of May, 2001, I graduated on a Friday from Reformed Bible College, a little college of 300 or so students, now renamed "Kuyper College" as if that's easier for a person to grasp the meaning of the name...Anyways, for a week I lived on the floor of an empty room with all my stuff in boxes in a house with some guys. During that week I was still making calls to Orlando, trying to figure out where I was going to live. I knew only one person in Orlando at the time and he was way to busy with five kids plus a full load of Seminary classes to take time to help me out. But God worked it out. For $200 a month, I'd stay in an 8 x 11 room in a house with a 70 year old cigar smoking guy, as well as his huge black lab, and a fellow RTS student from Taiwan who was up in the morning at 5:00 every day for prayer and studied until late at night on a stomach full of boiled chicken feet.

So I brought my 20 boxes of books, some of them weighing in at 65 lbs, to the closest UPS store in Grand Rapids--it took two loads since I only had a compact car, and cost about $550. One week after graduating college, I embarked on the longest drive I'd ever made in my life. I packed my Ford Festiva with no air conditioning to the gills. I mean, you could not have possibly fit another thing in there except in my lap. I arrived in Orlando, the next day after staying Chattanooga overnight, settled in and found a job as a meat cutter at Publix, and started my seminary education.

I know I'm skipping a TON, that maybe I'll cover some time, but fast foward. Now it's May 2007, six years later. I finally got to walk down the aisle at commencement. Problem was, when they handed me the diploma booklet, it was empty. I still had one more course to do. Over the past two years I had been doing course week through the RTS virtual campus (a great way to do seminary...). I still had to take the "Pastoral and Social Ethics" course. Well, today, finally, and not without some painful forcing myself to do it, I finished the last RTS course. I finished writing this stupid paper that's been hanging over my head for three weeks. I had to do it or the Seminary was going to put me on the December grad list (oooo, big deal....) Mostly the motivation came from within, just being tired of reading or writing or memorizing because I HAVE to. From now on, all continuing education will be stuff I WANT to read or listen to. AND, with my fingers crossed that I haven't failed the ethics course, I can finally say, "I have completed my graduate education!"

In the few short weeks I've been in full time ministry I find myself completely unprepared in a few things, but not in others. Seminary was definitely beneficial, but the education certainly has not stopped. In many ways, its just starting. Now starts on the job training, like when I listened to a church friend talk to me about his marriage that was breaking up and he didn't know what else could possibly be done. Hmmm...well the historico-redemptive-covenantal theological model tells us that....Nope. Forget that crap. How about, "God hates divorce. Period."

Could have said that before I even started RTS. But at least now I got some credentials. And maybe next time I'll write from the other perspective and talk about how valuable my theological education has been. Just thought I'd try telling a story this time. Fun huh?

Maawidge is what bwings us togetha here today

Last night we crammed about 16 of us into a room smaller than my wife and I's bedroom at the church offices and began a three week journey of discussion about marriage. You guys all remember the title line, I hope (you might not if you're just a few years younger than me...) Mike's sermon on Sunday was awesome, he just talked about some of the basic needs of men and women in order to encourage husbands and wives as to how to love each other well.

The idea of self-sacrifice, laying down your life for the other, is basic. This is easy to talk about but so tough to apply in our lives. Countless marriages are being lost today because we are so focused on ourselves. Last night in the group we watched a sermon by Andy Stanley where he talked about iMarriage... I marriage, where we enter into a contract and focus on what I want and I need and then how the other person fails to hold up their end of the bargain. Honestly, did Christ enter into a contract with us, or a covenant of unconditional love? He said, "This command I give you: As I have loved you, so you also love one another."

Traffic Court

Yep. For the first (and hopefully the only) time in my life, I went to traffic court in downtown Orlando. Earlier this summer, when I worked for the county, I was driving an F550 utility truck, stopped at a stop light and, unaware I was even doing it, I released pressure on the brake just enough that the vehicle crept foward very slowly and hit the vehicle in front of me. I got a four point ticket for careless driving.

Today I went with this whole argument to make, a bunch of notes, and finally the judge called my name. What probably actually worked against me was that the guy I had hit showed up as a witness, and testified that I had, in fact, rear-ended him when we were stopped at a stop light. However, the officer who gave the ticket never showed. Even so, which I was surprised at, she did not dismiss the case right away. So then I started into my explanation of the incident, I got about three sentences in and the judge interrupted, "It's a careless driving violation." She decided to take all the points off my license, but upheld the fine of the ticket plus court costs, so I had to pay $145 today.

It was weird being happy but pissed at the same time. Honestly, the "pissed" won over in terms of my feelings. I guess I should feel happy that in the end this is cheaper because I'm saving all the money from my insurance that would have went up if the points had been assessed. But I was bummed about the $145. That's a whole day's wages and then some! So...I guess grace was served, but not as much as it could have been.

It gets me thinking about the ethics of driving. Obviously it was a complete accident that I didn't push the brake hard enough...it would have been hard enough for any other vehicle we drive today, but that truck required me to push the brakes harder. Point is, we make these mistakes, we speed, etc., and then get tickets. It's part of our government's system. I don't know when it started but I think greenbacks had something to do with it. But Paul said "He is God's servant to do you good. ...He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer....therefore it is necessary to submit." Speeding tickets are plain in this regard because the speeder is breaking the law of the posted speed limit. The person who rear-ends someone is not using better judgment to drive more carefully, maintain distance, etc. So you'd think the accident and the costs of repair is enough consequence, but the government does have a "right" to tag on their consequences as well, which they often do, even if you do sit there 3 hours waiting for them to show up and do so...(I can't help it, I at least have to be a little sarcastic!). So, I guess I should thank God for using his instrument to bring grace compared to what could have been served. (Did you know the judge can decide to increase your penalties over and above the original ticket?).

Sometimes I process by writing things out. So thanks for reading my ramblings, and watch how you drive, cause even the littlest mistake can be costly!

Video I like

I find myself playing this when I warm up at rehearsal, a cool cover of Dear Prudence By John Lennon.

The hope of the world

Today at the end of the day, my friend and pastor, Mike, asked if I had about 45 minutes, he wanted me to come to his office and watch something. It was a video of a message by Bill Hybels from one of Willow Creek's conferences. The message was an inspirational message about what the Acts 2 church was like, and what if that kind of church existed today. There's no reason it can't, he said. You just have to watch it to get it, I'm nowhere near doing it justice. Toward the end of it, he talked about two things: the church is, logically, the hope of the world; and when the church is functioning right, there is nothing like it this side of heaven. He talked about the joys and the pains of ministry, the highs that are higher than anything you can ever experience, and the hard times that are just devastating. I've seen more than a few people go through those lows and decide to quit the church. They decide the pain is just too great, the sacrifice too costly. Many of them eventually come back, praise God, but today's message just reinforced to me the burden that Christ has. Christ's goal in the current time period, between his first and second comings, is to build his church, AKA the kingdom. He has given all that he has and is, devoted himeslf to us, his people. No matter how messy it got, Christ was faithful, and completed his mission. He's given us direction to follow in His footsteps. How dangerous! Yet how honoring, that we would be able to join the God of all in His mission. That is the kind of passion that drives a man like Bill Hybels and other leaders of the church today. I found myself praying that God would build in me that intimacy with Him, and that heart of undying committment and love to Him and to his Bride. Christ is the hope of the world, and his chosen vessel to convey it across the world is the church.r


Different topic, I have traffic court tomorrow. I am really hoping that God shows up and works grace and mercy in the situation. At a stop light, I accidentally let off the brake enough that the truck I was driving at the time (an F550 when I worked at the county) crept foward and struck the car in front of me. I was going less than 1 MPH. The cop showed up like 3 hours later and gave me a four point ticket for careless driving. It felt a little harsh, so I'm praying that grace will be shown, the easiest thing would probably be of the officer didn't show up. Please Lord, let me off the hook, it was the tiniest error!

Do you weep in staff meeting today?

I grew up in church. I'm not a PK (preacher's kid) but close. When I think about the many churches I've either personally attended or observed, on the whole, I don't get the sense of a group of leaders who sit and are so overwhelmed by the goodness of God, or on the other hand, so honest about the struggles of life, that they'll spend time in staff meeting thanking God or fervently praying, so much so that everyone is in tears. Yet that is what staff was like today. I don't want you to think it's like that all the time, but...what if it was? I think it would mean God is at work. He's at work anyway, but I think we were overjoyed at seeing how our work has paid off, that God showed up and business was done in people's hearts. We all talked about the good things we noticed about yesterday's church services. And at the same meeting shared our struggles.

One of the other things I liked was the accolades I received from everyone regarding my job so far. I put a lot of hard work in the last two weeks, and it has paid off, benefitting the church and our staff in many ways. I look foward to putting more systems in place. I never really learned in seminary about some of the business side of running a church. We never talked at all about 403b's, corporate filings, payroll, human resources, office management, systems for different programs, even how to structure your church around a discipleship process. Most churches don't even have a clear discipleship process. At Grace, we are in a stage of developing these systems and processes, getting our house in order as we simultaneously look for the next step, as our purpose statement says ("helping people take their next step toward Christ" [TM] Just kidding about the trademark, but still don't plagarize).

Whew!

Well, as I took things a little easy on labor day, the rest of the week was crazy just getting a lot of things done around our new Grace offices in College Park. For the first time in my life, I have an office at my work! It's so cool. Pic forthcoming as soon as I finish getting it in shape. The file cabinet is kind of scraped up on top, so I may spray paint it.

We are a small staff right now and we have a great volunteer team, but there is still so much to do. This is a good thing, just a bit tiring. But the difference is that I love my job. The danger for me lies in not spending enough time with my wife, or around the house or just for me time. I think today was the Sunday we were all ramping up for, in some ways more than for Christmas or Easter. Tomorrow I should hear more about how it's paid off. The sermon and media were nothing short of awesome though--I could sense that God was present and the next few weeks should be good as we go through this iMarriage series. I pray that staff, volunteers, all of us would be willing to realize that it is God working though us, without Him we would just be doing all this work but lives would not be getting changed. As I watched a man estranged from his wife who rarely comes to church walk in and shuffle through people and sit next to his wife, I said a prayer that God would begin to move in his heart and bring conviction, healing, all the stuff that is needed in this man's life.

I am pumped about Friday. For the last three years or so I've slumped off in following Dave Matthews Band and buying up all their music and going to concerts. Partly this is because my experiences of seeing them in Tampa haven't been the greatest. Well earlier this year I bought 8 tickets to see DMB in West Palm. I've been trying to get rid of the tickets, hopefully they will be gone so I can get my money back... But I'm looking foward to the trip, there's at least 6 of us going that I know, we're trying to get two more. I hope the concert is awesome! I realy hope Anne likes it as well. She hasn't shared my enthusiasm for DMB, hopefully she will have fun anyway. We both had a great time at Night of Joy on Friday, watching David Crowder with his craziness, and then having an awesome worship time with Leeland. Very cool stuff.

I have an unspoken prayer request--pray for COMFORT and HOPE in our lives this week. Sorry to be all cryptic, but I trust God to answer prayers, even if we can't be specific, because he knows the specific thing and the specific answer, even better than we do.

First Thoughts

I have a whole bunch of thoughts that I could begin with, so I'll list them for you tonight, then maybe expand on them later.

1. I don't consider myself to be a great blogger, so we shall see how this goes. I figured that since my wife is blogging, my new boss and pastor is blogging, a host of great church leaders are blogging (not that I'm a great church leader, but aspire to be one), and tons of other people do, I'd join in.

2. Anyone reading this is probably aware that I recently started a new job as the administrative director at Grace Fellowship. It has been a major shift, probably more major than I even realize at this time; it's still surreal to finally be in full time minstry.

3. I will be figuring out in the next few days/weeks what this blog will be in terms of my authenticity. I consider myself to be authentic to a fault, at times putting my size 11, bunion-deformed foot into my even bigger and also deformed (born with Cleft Lip) mouth. See what I mean? I suspect that one day some people from our church will regularly be reading my blog as well as others, and I hope that I can be real about my own sin and struggles and still be an effective church leader.

4. Speaking of being a leader, I feel like a beginner, and I thought about titling this blog "thoughts of a beginner." But I've been in and around ministry of all kinds for most of my life, but never in full-time capacity. I've worked labor jobs of all kinds, gone to school most of my life, and done ministry on the side. But now, I'm all in. It's the beginning of a journey, and I don't know what's ahead. And I feel hungry to know the One who is my Guide, I feel a bit distant from Him, and I know I want more.

5. When I worked for Orange County, there was this guy in his late 50's, he'd worked for the county nearly 30 years, barely knew how to read or write, but I really enjoyed working with him. He was a lot of fun. When I first got out there with him down in a hole he watched me dig for five minutes, then he said, "Get out of the hole for a minute. You ain't doin' it right. I'm fi'na show you how ta dig. My man, when you get up in the morning, you got ta WANT IT. When I wake up in the morning, I WANT IT!" Over the next few months, nearly every morning he would stroll up to me and ask me if I wanted it that day. So...do you "want it" today?