Around 10:30pm on Christmas Eve we had just finished loading up the rental truck from Christmas Eve at the Plaza, and I got in it to take it to the office. I had a great time on Christmas Eve, but I was feeling a bit tired and worn out. For some reason, I was having a hard time feeling great joy and Christmas spirit in that moment, there late in the evening on December 24.
On the way to the office, bouncing around in the cab of this big truck, I got a friendly text of thanks and appreciation that helped me begin to rebound. It helped me begin to see beyond myself and realize what a great success the Christmas Eve services had been. I dropped off the truck at the office and got in my vehicle to come home, and on the way found myself turning up the volume on this song:
This is a song I’ve been listening to for a long time and one line has always meant a lot to me: “These hands are yours, teach them to serve as you please and I'll reach out, desperate to see all the greatness of God…” I realized late that night that I’d been praying this prayer to God, and that all the work leading up to and during Christmas Eve was God’s answer to my prayer! God has been and still is taking my hands and using them for His glory. I got exactly what I asked for.
It totally changed my perspective—I get to be used by God for the great purposes He has in the world. I found myself, indeed, desperate to see the greatness of God—to see it evident in the hearts and lives of many who have yet to come to know Jesus at Grace Fellowship.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Thoughts While Reading Luke, Part Three
Chapter 10—note: from here out I plan to state notes/thoughts as prayers and talking to God, it helps me connect with Him vs. read about Him.
--God, your kingdom is a blessing to those who choose to submit to you, and a judgment on those who reject You. You are so merciful to withhold and allow those who reject you to change their mind and turn to you. You are merciful to me.
--21-24—For centuries many of those who remained faithful to you longed for the day that you would come to earth. And finally you came, and all those people had in their mind who they thought you were, so when you came, only the weak, the poor, the oppressed, the children, could accept who you were. They didn’t try to explain it away, they didn’t sit evaluating you according to their theology. They just accepted you as the Messiah. No wonder you called those people blessed. And now, since you have come, I have the blessing of seeing you, knowing you, experiencing you. Thank you Father, for having the good pleasure of revealing Your Son to me. I owe my life to You.
--I love the parable of the Good Samaritan! I love how you handled this “expert in the law” with this. It challenges me as to whether I’m like the priest/Levite—do I think too highly of myself to reach out and help others—ANY others? Not just help them, but show genuine love and mercy as much as is within my power?
Chapter 11
--I want to develop a prayer life that looks like this. I often approach you afraid to ask for things, but I think you’re saying that if my desire is first and foremost for You, then I’ll have not only you through the Holy Spirit, but also other things I might need. Help me Jesus to want your Holy Spirit active and vibrant in me more than anything.
--Verse 28—Keepin’ it real. Duh! Yet how often do I stop to hear your word? How easily I don’t obey it…
--Jesus, teach me more about spiritual blindness.
--Woes—God, I pray your Holy Spirit would help me to be humble, to love mercy and not just the letter of the law.
Chapter 12
--Am I bold for you Jesus? I confess that at times in my life and have failed to stand for You, I’ve been called a hypocrite, and I knew it. Forgive me, Lord. I pray that you would find me willing to speak about you even when it’s awkward and costly, and that when I speak, your Spirit would give me the words to speak. I feel like that happened a bit this Sunday, and I want more of it, more of you speaking through me.
--Verse 15—how subtle and yet how prevalent greed has become in our day and in my life, Lord. Help me to remember this verse and this parable!
--This passage reminds me of the Generous Life/How to Be Rich series. Thank you GOD for that teaching, I think it was a turning point for me. God, help me more and more to live in this truth. Help me to be rich toward You.
--22-34 is almost a direct copy of Matthew 6. Lots of stuff in here for me. Help me not to be so attached to things, to clothes, to restaurants, etc. I want to desire you more than these things.
--Will you find me, will you find us, ready for you Jesus?
--Verse 48—scary. God, I think I’m someone who has been entrusted with much. I don’t mean to sound prideful in that, but with all my life experience, all my schooling, etc., I think you’ve taught me a lot and according to this, you plan to hold me to it. I want to be faithful to you.
Chapter 13
--My Bible has a heading for the first few verses: “repent or perish.” Wow. Do we hear this message in our day often? It’s certainly not the only message of the Bible, but it’s an important one.
--I want to know more about the mustard seed parable. What’s the message here?
--Who is the subject of the teaching on the narrow door? Those who call themselves Christians but aren’t, or those who reject God altogether?
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Thoughts While Reading Luke, Part Two
Chapter 7
Vs 1-5—do a study of Jewish leaders’ relationships with Roman centurions and these verses mean a bit more.
Vs 9—will Jesus find faith in me? Am I aligning myself with those unlikely to have faith?
--Very interesting comparison in Verses 29-30: “acknowledged God’s way was right” versus “Rejected God’s purpose for themselves.”
--Verse 35—what does this mean?
--The story of 36-50, this woman, and Jesus’ lesson in it, is one of my favorite in Jesus’ life. It bears much more reflection on my part of whether I have the character and attitude of the Pharisee or of the sinful woman. Am I aware of my sin? Really aware? Do I mourn over it and fall it His feet? What else can I learn from her?
Chapter 8
--Verse 13—this is a real danger for many who call themselves Christians. Will you and I stay rooted in Him, close to Him, run to Him in the time of our testing? This verse is one proof that God does in fact put things in our life to show us our true nature. Why wouldn’t we save ourselves the trouble and turn to Him? Very hard step to take, but through the Holy Spirit, who is God with us and in us, we can turn to him and affirm a verse like Psalm 73:25-26.
--Verse 14—yikes.
--Persevere—not a word we like to hear. But it’s the only group for whom Jesus sees a good outcome of bearing fruit.
--Healing the demon-possessed man—Authority is the key word here. Jesus is LORD of ALL. But why in the world did he allow the demons into the pigs?
Ch 9
--In a world full of people who don’t understand Jesus or outright refuse to acknowledge who he is, we follow the heart of Peter, who is willing to proclaim that Jesus is the Messiah.
--I haven’t heard about the Transfiguration in a long time. How amazing that must have been for the disciples. I wonder if they got it when they heard God’s voice from heaven. I think being “Gripped with fear” is a pretty adequate response…
--This chapter ends with some tough words. I think it’s about being too consumed with this world and not all-consumed with Jesus and his kingdom. I’ve got a long way to go…
Monday, December 29, 2008
Old School Worship with Aidan--Set List
Aidan likes it when I play guitar and sing to him. Here's the set list of songs I just sang to him, for a trip down memory lane to 10 years ago...
We Will Worship the Lamb of Glory
Arms of my Father
Surely Goodness and Mercy (Psalm 23)
This is Love
Like a Child
Love Jive
More Love, More Power
He is Lord
I Have Decided
We Will Worship the Lamb of Glory
Arms of my Father
Surely Goodness and Mercy (Psalm 23)
This is Love
Like a Child
Love Jive
More Love, More Power
He is Lord
I Have Decided
Thoughts While Reading Luke, Part One
Reading for today was chs. 1-6. For those who took me up on my challenge, I would love it if you were to post your thoughts while reading as well. I realize this is no small undertaking for one week, but I hope that all of us will be recharged and reacquainted with Jesus as we start 2009!
Chapter 1
—Luke spent a lot of time researching, reading, finding out the truth of Jesus life.
--The story of John the Baptist’s foretold birth contains some very important Biblical concepts. Imagine being a priest when the nation had turned from God and God had been silent for 400 years, and all of the sudden GABRIEL—one of God’s higher-ups—shows up standing next to you with these huge promises!
--God is SERIOUS about people taking him at His word—he silenced Zechariah for 9 months.
--LOVE these words: “He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, HIS KINGDOM WILL NEVER END.”
--And these: “For NOTHING is impossible with God.”
--AND Mary’s response! “I am the Lord’s servant….may it be to me as you have said.” What could God do with us if we all submitted to Him like this?
--Imagine the scene when 14 year old Mary traveled 50+ miles and visited Elizabeth—can you feel the excitement?
--timing note—Was Mary THERE when John the Baptist was born?
--Can you imagine the excitement that spread through the region like wildfire when these amazing things began happening? (64-66)
Chapter 2
--I love Luke’s detailed writing style, including as much description of time, location as he can.
--This wasn’t just a big moment for earth/makind—it was also a big moment for heaven. God was orchestrating a huge moment in history, and the angels were there to glorify Him.
--I think the shepherds knew they needed a Savior. I think they’d been hungering for God, waiting for Him to show up, for a LONG time.
--Notice how the people involved in Jesus’ birth narrative are all godly people—they followed and loved God with all their heart, at a time when most didn’t. Sort of like our times…
--vs. 36-38—I want to know more about Anna. WOW!
--Verse 40=about 12 years.
Chapter 3
--John the Baptist’s words (vs. 7-10) would not be very popular in our day. A stern nature to them—yet verse 18 calls it “Good news.”
--“the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie.” Basically, “I (a prophet appointed by God) am not worthy to do even the lowest, most thankless task that his servant would do.” John had a reverence for the person of Jesus as the Son of the Most High.
Chapter 4
--Note to self—learn more about the Holy Spirit, since many people so far in Luke have been “full of the Holy Spirit” or “led by the Holy Spirit.”
--Vs 6—Satan is so full of crap! Scripture calls him a deceiver, yet how easily we are led astray by him. I hope I can start having Scripture on my heart enough to do what Jesus did in this passage.
--Curious about Jesus’ words and ensuing action at Nazareth—seems like he was asking for it, if that could be true of the Son of God. It’s a self-fulfilled prophecy.
--Capernaum—I’ve been there. This town became sort of home base for Jesus in his ministry.
Chapter 5
--The way Jesus taught Simon Peter was very cool—for Peter, the gospel had to be caught, not taught…
--verse. 11. ‘nuff said.
--Verse 16—Ministry people (including volunteers!), pay attention to this verse! That’s a great reminder for me. How often do I withdraw to solitude and time with God? Jesus was God, and worked hard changing the lives of many, many people—and even he knew that he needed time alone with God, and lots of it.
--Are we filled with awe when we see miracles today? Do we stop and really give praise to God, or do we just go about our lives and begin thinking we had something to do with it?
--Verse 31: I’m a sinner! God, please rid me of self-righteousness.
Chapter 6
--vs. 1-11—have you gone overboard with legalism?
--It’s hard for me to focus in prayer for 5 minutes, and Jesus prayed all night long. Hmmmm….
--vs. 24-26—It’s scary how I sometimes can be like one of the people Jesus is warning about here. It’s scary to think about being more like 22-23—yet it’s there that we find blessing and reward.
--There’s a lot of content in chapter 6’s teaching. I can’t do any of this on my own, I need you Jesus, to help me live the way you describe here.
--I love verse 38—helps me to loosen my grip.
Chapter 1
—Luke spent a lot of time researching, reading, finding out the truth of Jesus life.
--The story of John the Baptist’s foretold birth contains some very important Biblical concepts. Imagine being a priest when the nation had turned from God and God had been silent for 400 years, and all of the sudden GABRIEL—one of God’s higher-ups—shows up standing next to you with these huge promises!
--God is SERIOUS about people taking him at His word—he silenced Zechariah for 9 months.
--LOVE these words: “He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, HIS KINGDOM WILL NEVER END.”
--And these: “For NOTHING is impossible with God.”
--AND Mary’s response! “I am the Lord’s servant….may it be to me as you have said.” What could God do with us if we all submitted to Him like this?
--Imagine the scene when 14 year old Mary traveled 50+ miles and visited Elizabeth—can you feel the excitement?
--timing note—Was Mary THERE when John the Baptist was born?
--Can you imagine the excitement that spread through the region like wildfire when these amazing things began happening? (64-66)
Chapter 2
--I love Luke’s detailed writing style, including as much description of time, location as he can.
--This wasn’t just a big moment for earth/makind—it was also a big moment for heaven. God was orchestrating a huge moment in history, and the angels were there to glorify Him.
--I think the shepherds knew they needed a Savior. I think they’d been hungering for God, waiting for Him to show up, for a LONG time.
--Notice how the people involved in Jesus’ birth narrative are all godly people—they followed and loved God with all their heart, at a time when most didn’t. Sort of like our times…
--vs. 36-38—I want to know more about Anna. WOW!
--Verse 40=about 12 years.
Chapter 3
--John the Baptist’s words (vs. 7-10) would not be very popular in our day. A stern nature to them—yet verse 18 calls it “Good news.”
--“the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie.” Basically, “I (a prophet appointed by God) am not worthy to do even the lowest, most thankless task that his servant would do.” John had a reverence for the person of Jesus as the Son of the Most High.
Chapter 4
--Note to self—learn more about the Holy Spirit, since many people so far in Luke have been “full of the Holy Spirit” or “led by the Holy Spirit.”
--Vs 6—Satan is so full of crap! Scripture calls him a deceiver, yet how easily we are led astray by him. I hope I can start having Scripture on my heart enough to do what Jesus did in this passage.
--Curious about Jesus’ words and ensuing action at Nazareth—seems like he was asking for it, if that could be true of the Son of God. It’s a self-fulfilled prophecy.
--Capernaum—I’ve been there. This town became sort of home base for Jesus in his ministry.
Chapter 5
--The way Jesus taught Simon Peter was very cool—for Peter, the gospel had to be caught, not taught…
--verse. 11. ‘nuff said.
--Verse 16—Ministry people (including volunteers!), pay attention to this verse! That’s a great reminder for me. How often do I withdraw to solitude and time with God? Jesus was God, and worked hard changing the lives of many, many people—and even he knew that he needed time alone with God, and lots of it.
--Are we filled with awe when we see miracles today? Do we stop and really give praise to God, or do we just go about our lives and begin thinking we had something to do with it?
--Verse 31: I’m a sinner! God, please rid me of self-righteousness.
Chapter 6
--vs. 1-11—have you gone overboard with legalism?
--It’s hard for me to focus in prayer for 5 minutes, and Jesus prayed all night long. Hmmmm….
--vs. 24-26—It’s scary how I sometimes can be like one of the people Jesus is warning about here. It’s scary to think about being more like 22-23—yet it’s there that we find blessing and reward.
--There’s a lot of content in chapter 6’s teaching. I can’t do any of this on my own, I need you Jesus, to help me live the way you describe here.
--I love verse 38—helps me to loosen my grip.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Quotes from This Morning
I've been in unplanned radio silence on this blog for a while now. I contemplated back-logging some entries, but hopefully I can be more intentional in the next few days and you'll read some thoughts and maybe catch a vid or two.
This morning I preached at Grace--you can catch the sermon online! I don't normally use quotes but today there were a couple that I just had to share with you. Because I found these online, I cannot properly annotate where exactly the quotes are from, only who:
"If we don’t feel strong desires for the manifestation of the glory of God, it is not because we have drunk deeply [of Him] and are satisfied. It is because we have nibbled so long at the table of the world. Our soul is stuffed with small things, and there is no room for the great.”--John Piper
“If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desire, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”--C.S. Lewis. (I can't believe I didn't include this quote this morning!)
"Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for desires exists. …If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." - C.S. Lewis
"I want deliberately to encourage this mighty longing after God. The lack of it has brought us to our present low estate. The stiff and wooden quality about our religious lives is a result of our lack of holy desire. Complacency is a deadly foe of all spiritual growth. Acute desire must be present or there will be no manifestation of Christ to His people. He waits to be wanted. Too bad that with many of us He waits so long, so very long, in vain." --A. W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God, Chapter 1.
IF something in you resonates with these quotes, and you realize you have lost your hunger for God, maybe praying this prayer would help:
"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, `Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.' Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus' name, Amen." --A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God, Chapter 1 (ending prayer)
This morning I preached at Grace--you can catch the sermon online! I don't normally use quotes but today there were a couple that I just had to share with you. Because I found these online, I cannot properly annotate where exactly the quotes are from, only who:
"If we don’t feel strong desires for the manifestation of the glory of God, it is not because we have drunk deeply [of Him] and are satisfied. It is because we have nibbled so long at the table of the world. Our soul is stuffed with small things, and there is no room for the great.”--John Piper
“If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desire, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”--C.S. Lewis. (I can't believe I didn't include this quote this morning!)
"Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for desires exists. …If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." - C.S. Lewis
"I want deliberately to encourage this mighty longing after God. The lack of it has brought us to our present low estate. The stiff and wooden quality about our religious lives is a result of our lack of holy desire. Complacency is a deadly foe of all spiritual growth. Acute desire must be present or there will be no manifestation of Christ to His people. He waits to be wanted. Too bad that with many of us He waits so long, so very long, in vain." --A. W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God, Chapter 1.
IF something in you resonates with these quotes, and you realize you have lost your hunger for God, maybe praying this prayer would help:
"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, `Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.' Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus' name, Amen." --A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God, Chapter 1 (ending prayer)
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Long Awaited Footage of Aidan!
Over the past few weeks, we've been capturing snipets of Aidan's time at home. He's come a long way in the past couple months, he's become a big boy! We feel like he's gone from that newborn status to being a baby. As you'll see, he loves cookie monster, and he loves the Christmas tree...
Aidan Vermeulen 3-4 months footage from Jason Vermeulen on Vimeo.
Aidan Vermeulen 3-4 months footage from Jason Vermeulen on Vimeo.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Question
What brings about life change in a person? I'm not speaking specifically about conversion, but about change in general.
GO.
GO.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Gossip
Why do we love gossip so much? I'll be the first to admit I want to know the skinny on things, what's going on with people, etc. One theory is that it's a passive form of pride--I'll feel better about myself knowing I'm not like that person. Hmmm...sounds a little like something from the Gospels...
Maybe the golden rule applies here, along with the principle of the plankeye (Matthew 7). If I don't want people talking behind my back about me and my failures, then I probably shouldn't do that to others. This includes family. For this to work, I need to admit that I have failings and shortcomings--work on my own junk before I start pointing fingers. This is a posture of humility.
If you're disappointed with the sins and failures of another, try this:
1. Pray for them. A lot. All the time. Lift them up to God and his will in their lives.
2. Encourage them by standing with them, letting them know that you are FOR them, you love them. Say this often.
3. Speak and act with GRACE and TRUTH. Grace is not tolerance of sin, and Truth is not judgment and condemnation. Before you speak, pray for wisdom in your words, and think about what you will say.
4. Share your struggles and disappointment with others wisely, sparingly, and hopefully. If the person's offenses are directly against you, that's a different situation, and you need people around you to hold you up and pray for you--you are right to share your sorrows with others. But if you are just bringing others into the know about a situation that doesn't impact them directly, ask yourself whether it benefits any party involved for you to share this news. Only share what is necessary with those who need to hear it.
Maybe the golden rule applies here, along with the principle of the plankeye (Matthew 7). If I don't want people talking behind my back about me and my failures, then I probably shouldn't do that to others. This includes family. For this to work, I need to admit that I have failings and shortcomings--work on my own junk before I start pointing fingers. This is a posture of humility.
If you're disappointed with the sins and failures of another, try this:
1. Pray for them. A lot. All the time. Lift them up to God and his will in their lives.
2. Encourage them by standing with them, letting them know that you are FOR them, you love them. Say this often.
3. Speak and act with GRACE and TRUTH. Grace is not tolerance of sin, and Truth is not judgment and condemnation. Before you speak, pray for wisdom in your words, and think about what you will say.
4. Share your struggles and disappointment with others wisely, sparingly, and hopefully. If the person's offenses are directly against you, that's a different situation, and you need people around you to hold you up and pray for you--you are right to share your sorrows with others. But if you are just bringing others into the know about a situation that doesn't impact them directly, ask yourself whether it benefits any party involved for you to share this news. Only share what is necessary with those who need to hear it.
Friday, December 12, 2008
The Aidan Report
Short story: Aidan has "Benign extra-axial fluid of infancy." It is harmless and simply requires followup visits to track the circumference of the head and make sure that it doesn't spike up in comparison with the rest of the body. If they REALLY play it safe, they would do another CT scan in 6 months or so, but as long as no symptoms become apparent, they won't need to do that.
Longer version in timeline format:
Monday morning: Anne takes Aidan to our pediatrician for his 4 month checkup, who sees that since his two month checkup, Aidan's head has grown from the 50th percentile to around the 90th percentile for largeness in comparison with the rest of his body. She then proceeds to say that she needs to talk to a pediatric neurologist about the possibility of hydrocephalus. This is of course a bit scary and upsetting.
Monday afternoon: I talk with our pediatrician who reiterates this to me and says her office is trying to schedule a CT scan as soon as possible, and that I need to make an appointment with the pediatric neurosurgeon, so I do.
Monday night-tuesday afternoon: We sit wondering about the possibilities for Aidan's diagnosis, but feel doubtful that there is a neurological problem based on the lack of actual symptoms and the fact that when they were infants, several of Anne's family had rather large heads for their age. Nevertheless, there is still a sense of worry. I also don't know much about CT scans so I'm a little worried about a fussy baby having a hard time with a noisy machine that takes 15 minutes to do its thing.
Tuesday 5:15pm: I arrive at the Arnold Palmer business office so they can do a bunch of paperwork before the CT scan.
Tuesday 5:30: Done with Paperwork, sit in radiology waiting room.
Tuesday 6:00: Still waiting.
Tuesday 6:30pm: Still waiting.
Tuesday 6:45pm: Finally go back, put Aidan on the table, wrap him and strap him in, with his pacifier, and I don the radiation vest and hold his chin steady. The scan lasts no more than 2 minutes, is rather quiet, and Aidan only fusses and tries to move a little. He stares at me the whole time. At the end, the tech tells me we'll know the results in the morning.
Wednesday 9AM: Still no word.
Wednesday 11am: I call the pediatrician, who explains something about the Aidan's history being mis-read, which puts the wrong twist on the radiologist's interpretation of the data, which means that the test must be read again by another radiologist, or the same one, who doesn't come in until the evening. So we will hear in the afternoon or the morning.
Thursday 9 am: Still no word.
Thursday 11am: I call the pediatrician, who has been trying to get them to send the report, but the doctor has not signed off on it so they won't disclose it.
Thursday 1pm: A person who will remain anonymous accesses the computer to find the report from the scan. Apparently, someone had written that the history was "microcephaly" (small head) instead of "macrocephaly," thus requring the re-read. Under all this is statements leading to "Findings likely represent benign subarachnoid collections of infancy. Followup is recommended to ensure resolution."
I find out more information online:
Benign extra-axial fluid of infancy
"At birth and for the first few months, the child's head circumference will be normal, but will suddenly start to grow rapidly over a short period of time. Since abnormal head growth is an indicator that hydrocephalus may be present, the child should be referred to a pediatric neurosurgeon for further evaluation. A CT series of the head will be ordered to check the size of the ventricles and for the presence of cysts or tumors.
When CT images return, the neurosurgeon will see that the size of the ventricles are normal or slightly enlarged, and there is no indication of an intracranial mass. What they will notice, however, is an abnormal accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid in the subarachnoid space (the area between the skull and the hemispheres of the brain). This is known technically as benign extra-axial fluid of infancy, and can also be called a benign subdural hygroma, or external hydrocephalus.
In cases of benign extra-axial fluid of infancy, the subarachnoid accumulation is normally reabsorbed by the time the child reaches 18 to 24 months of age. Once the benign extra-axial fluid has been detected, your child's neurosurgeon will require follow-up scans to ensure the fluid accumulation is being reabsorbed by the brain."
Thursday 3:10pm: I arrive with Aidan at the pediatric neurologist for a 3:15 appointment for them to interpret the data, and tell me what's going on (I'm not supposed to know already).
Thursday 3:20: Done with the intake paperwork, I sit with Aidan.
Thursday 3:45: Still sitting in the waiting room, Aidan's getting a bit fussy.
Thursday 4pm: Finally a tech takes me to a room, does the initial info-gathering, and says "the Doctor and P.A. will be right in."
Thursday 4:10pm: I decide while waiting to feed Aidan. Formula powder goes all over the place while I'm trying to make his bottle, meanwhile he's grunting and fussing. He takes 3 oz and then refuses to take any more. (he's been doing this a lot lately, but worse in public, unfamiliar settings.)
Thursday 4:30pm: The PA comes in and goes through the whole above diagnosis with me after checking a few things. She says she'll be back with the doctor to show me the scan.
Thursday 4:45pm: The doctor comes in to repeat again the whole diagnosis and says he wants to just follow up to measure the head circumference in Feb (why can't the pediatrician do this?)
Thursday 4:55pm: the girl at the front desk tells me to call in January to set up a follow up appointment (in my mind: "like hell I will") as I'm on the way out.
Thursday 5:00-5:40--I fight rush hour traffic to get home and Aidan screams the last 10 minutes of it because he's hungry.
I told you it would be a long story. What are your observations about the American healthcare system from this story?
Longer version in timeline format:
Monday morning: Anne takes Aidan to our pediatrician for his 4 month checkup, who sees that since his two month checkup, Aidan's head has grown from the 50th percentile to around the 90th percentile for largeness in comparison with the rest of his body. She then proceeds to say that she needs to talk to a pediatric neurologist about the possibility of hydrocephalus. This is of course a bit scary and upsetting.
Monday afternoon: I talk with our pediatrician who reiterates this to me and says her office is trying to schedule a CT scan as soon as possible, and that I need to make an appointment with the pediatric neurosurgeon, so I do.
Monday night-tuesday afternoon: We sit wondering about the possibilities for Aidan's diagnosis, but feel doubtful that there is a neurological problem based on the lack of actual symptoms and the fact that when they were infants, several of Anne's family had rather large heads for their age. Nevertheless, there is still a sense of worry. I also don't know much about CT scans so I'm a little worried about a fussy baby having a hard time with a noisy machine that takes 15 minutes to do its thing.
Tuesday 5:15pm: I arrive at the Arnold Palmer business office so they can do a bunch of paperwork before the CT scan.
Tuesday 5:30: Done with Paperwork, sit in radiology waiting room.
Tuesday 6:00: Still waiting.
Tuesday 6:30pm: Still waiting.
Tuesday 6:45pm: Finally go back, put Aidan on the table, wrap him and strap him in, with his pacifier, and I don the radiation vest and hold his chin steady. The scan lasts no more than 2 minutes, is rather quiet, and Aidan only fusses and tries to move a little. He stares at me the whole time. At the end, the tech tells me we'll know the results in the morning.
Wednesday 9AM: Still no word.
Wednesday 11am: I call the pediatrician, who explains something about the Aidan's history being mis-read, which puts the wrong twist on the radiologist's interpretation of the data, which means that the test must be read again by another radiologist, or the same one, who doesn't come in until the evening. So we will hear in the afternoon or the morning.
Thursday 9 am: Still no word.
Thursday 11am: I call the pediatrician, who has been trying to get them to send the report, but the doctor has not signed off on it so they won't disclose it.
Thursday 1pm: A person who will remain anonymous accesses the computer to find the report from the scan. Apparently, someone had written that the history was "microcephaly" (small head) instead of "macrocephaly," thus requring the re-read. Under all this is statements leading to "Findings likely represent benign subarachnoid collections of infancy. Followup is recommended to ensure resolution."
I find out more information online:
Benign extra-axial fluid of infancy
"At birth and for the first few months, the child's head circumference will be normal, but will suddenly start to grow rapidly over a short period of time. Since abnormal head growth is an indicator that hydrocephalus may be present, the child should be referred to a pediatric neurosurgeon for further evaluation. A CT series of the head will be ordered to check the size of the ventricles and for the presence of cysts or tumors.
When CT images return, the neurosurgeon will see that the size of the ventricles are normal or slightly enlarged, and there is no indication of an intracranial mass. What they will notice, however, is an abnormal accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid in the subarachnoid space (the area between the skull and the hemispheres of the brain). This is known technically as benign extra-axial fluid of infancy, and can also be called a benign subdural hygroma, or external hydrocephalus.
In cases of benign extra-axial fluid of infancy, the subarachnoid accumulation is normally reabsorbed by the time the child reaches 18 to 24 months of age. Once the benign extra-axial fluid has been detected, your child's neurosurgeon will require follow-up scans to ensure the fluid accumulation is being reabsorbed by the brain."
Thursday 3:10pm: I arrive with Aidan at the pediatric neurologist for a 3:15 appointment for them to interpret the data, and tell me what's going on (I'm not supposed to know already).
Thursday 3:20: Done with the intake paperwork, I sit with Aidan.
Thursday 3:45: Still sitting in the waiting room, Aidan's getting a bit fussy.
Thursday 4pm: Finally a tech takes me to a room, does the initial info-gathering, and says "the Doctor and P.A. will be right in."
Thursday 4:10pm: I decide while waiting to feed Aidan. Formula powder goes all over the place while I'm trying to make his bottle, meanwhile he's grunting and fussing. He takes 3 oz and then refuses to take any more. (he's been doing this a lot lately, but worse in public, unfamiliar settings.)
Thursday 4:30pm: The PA comes in and goes through the whole above diagnosis with me after checking a few things. She says she'll be back with the doctor to show me the scan.
Thursday 4:45pm: The doctor comes in to repeat again the whole diagnosis and says he wants to just follow up to measure the head circumference in Feb (why can't the pediatrician do this?)
Thursday 4:55pm: the girl at the front desk tells me to call in January to set up a follow up appointment (in my mind: "like hell I will") as I'm on the way out.
Thursday 5:00-5:40--I fight rush hour traffic to get home and Aidan screams the last 10 minutes of it because he's hungry.
I told you it would be a long story. What are your observations about the American healthcare system from this story?
Monday, December 8, 2008
Constructive Criticism
We all have people in our lives whose habits or attitudes annoy us. There are things we pick up on in other people that bug us to death, and at times we just want to lash out and get off our chest why we don't want to be around the other person. Unfortunately, we often do it behind the person's back because it would be awkward and we can't find the words to speak honestly into their lives (and maybe we haven't built up enough street cred with them).
There are people in my life right now that I'm tempted to criticize. I can always find faults in other people, and I think we can all relate. Here's four points on this:
1. Matthew 7:1-5. This doesn't even need explanation.
2. Have you prayed for the other person? I'm not talking about praying that the other person would realize how sinful and screwed up they are, I'm talking about praying for God to pour himself into that person--that as He comes in conviction of sin (if there is a specific sin that is bugging you), that His love and blessing would be known to that person as well.
3. There is a right way and a wrong way to speak into someone's life. Constructive criticism is for the other person’s benefit, not so you can get it off your chest. A person has to know that you are 100% for them, care, truly love, before they will hear you. Even the best criticism can hurt, but proverbs 27:6 says “wounds from a friend can be trusted.”
4. Notice what immediately follows Matthew 7:1-5--Verse 6. Is the person in the right frame of mind to hear what you have to say? Is this is a person with enough wisdom to hear, understand, and act, or will your words go in one ear and out the other--or even worse, be twisted and used against you?
Be wise. Be slow to speak, quick to listen.
There are people in my life right now that I'm tempted to criticize. I can always find faults in other people, and I think we can all relate. Here's four points on this:
1. Matthew 7:1-5. This doesn't even need explanation.
2. Have you prayed for the other person? I'm not talking about praying that the other person would realize how sinful and screwed up they are, I'm talking about praying for God to pour himself into that person--that as He comes in conviction of sin (if there is a specific sin that is bugging you), that His love and blessing would be known to that person as well.
3. There is a right way and a wrong way to speak into someone's life. Constructive criticism is for the other person’s benefit, not so you can get it off your chest. A person has to know that you are 100% for them, care, truly love, before they will hear you. Even the best criticism can hurt, but proverbs 27:6 says “wounds from a friend can be trusted.”
4. Notice what immediately follows Matthew 7:1-5--Verse 6. Is the person in the right frame of mind to hear what you have to say? Is this is a person with enough wisdom to hear, understand, and act, or will your words go in one ear and out the other--or even worse, be twisted and used against you?
Be wise. Be slow to speak, quick to listen.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Street Cred
Street cred is the amount to which you have a right to speak into someone's life. You have people who have a ton of street cred with you, and others don't have as much. There may be a correlation between a person's integrity and the amount of street cred he has with people. There is a correlation between a person's street cred and their closeness to Christ.
Who do you allow to speak into your life? Do you allow people to challenge you? Or do you just get people that agree with you all the time? With whom do you have street cred--does anyone look to you to speak truth and wisdom into their life?
Who do you allow to speak into your life? Do you allow people to challenge you? Or do you just get people that agree with you all the time? With whom do you have street cred--does anyone look to you to speak truth and wisdom into their life?
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Thanksgiving Project Video
I finally found my flip cam and had a chance to do a quick edit of some of the footage from Grace's thanksgiving food drive project. Enjoy!
Grace Thanksgiving Food Drive 2008 from Jason Vermeulen on Vimeo.
Grace Thanksgiving Food Drive 2008 from Jason Vermeulen on Vimeo.
Monday, December 1, 2008
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