Monday, December 8, 2008

Constructive Criticism

We all have people in our lives whose habits or attitudes annoy us. There are things we pick up on in other people that bug us to death, and at times we just want to lash out and get off our chest why we don't want to be around the other person. Unfortunately, we often do it behind the person's back because it would be awkward and we can't find the words to speak honestly into their lives (and maybe we haven't built up enough street cred with them).

There are people in my life right now that I'm tempted to criticize. I can always find faults in other people, and I think we can all relate. Here's four points on this:

1. Matthew 7:1-5. This doesn't even need explanation.
2. Have you prayed for the other person? I'm not talking about praying that the other person would realize how sinful and screwed up they are, I'm talking about praying for God to pour himself into that person--that as He comes in conviction of sin (if there is a specific sin that is bugging you), that His love and blessing would be known to that person as well.
3. There is a right way and a wrong way to speak into someone's life. Constructive criticism is for the other person’s benefit, not so you can get it off your chest. A person has to know that you are 100% for them, care, truly love, before they will hear you. Even the best criticism can hurt, but proverbs 27:6 says “wounds from a friend can be trusted.”
4. Notice what immediately follows Matthew 7:1-5--Verse 6. Is the person in the right frame of mind to hear what you have to say? Is this is a person with enough wisdom to hear, understand, and act, or will your words go in one ear and out the other--or even worse, be twisted and used against you?

Be wise. Be slow to speak, quick to listen.

No comments: