Clinging

Today during one of the worship services I was holding our five month old Aidan while we were singing Lead Me to the Cross. I was holding him close and found myself thinking about Jesus and the little children in the gospels. I put myself into the picture as that little child. I realized that Aidan was in the posture that Jesus is talking about--he had total confidence and trust in my his daddy, that I loved him, protected him, cared for him. He was also holding onto my shirt very tightly, as babies tend to do when they grab things.

I was overwhelmed by the thought of being like him in my relationship to Jesus. Clinging to Him. I was thinking about it and singing the chorus, "Bring me to my knees, Lord I lay me down; rid me of myself, I belong to You..."

This week I felt the sense of the struggle to stay engaged with Christ, to really cleave to Him. I found myself busy and distracted, all the things that tend to come along with picking back up in the new year. Some really good and encouraging things happened too. In all of it, I found myself losing grip of Christ, losing him a little, but still far closer than I was before.

There are many prayers on my heart and mind right now, but among them all is "I need You Jesus. I need you. You are everything. Be what I need."